For days now, the internet has been buzzing with rumours of a Donald Trump impeachment. Online bookmakers were averaging 2/1 odds of the new world leader becoming the third US president to be brought up on charges and forced out of office. Ladbrokes, a UK bookmakers, were even offering 11/10 odds that Donald Trump will be impeached or resign from office before completing his term.
From treasonous Russian dealings to an expected sexual assault in the near future, there were a variety of potential reasons that the people thought it likely Trump would be brought up on charges. Now that the House of Representatives have announced their plans for impeachment, the world is in shock, yet also in agreement of the charges facing the US president.
In a press conference this morning, the majority leader of the House of Representatives, Polly Tishane stated;
We are moving forward with impeachment proceedings against President Donald Trump amidst allegations of him being in possession of the shittiest haircut in the known universe. After reviewing the evidence, we have found that the accusations are warranted and we have been left with no option but to press for charges.
When the story broke this morning, many cried fake news due to the outrageous nature of the charges. Never before has a world leader faced prosecution for allegations based purely on aesthetics. Unfortunately for president Trump, the charges against him do not stop at having shitty hair.
An anonymous source has reportedly come forward with information as well as documented evidence that implicates Trump involvement in an abduction and forced-labour plot. If found guilty, the newly elected president could face a minimum of 25 years in prison.
The source claims that they previously worked in the Trump mansion and bore witness to the abduction and imprisonment of a German man named, Rumpelstiltskin. According to the source, Mr. Rumpelstiltskin has been held captive for decades, forced to weave weekly wigs of golden thread for Trump, or face severe punishment.
Whilst the photograph provided by the source(see above) looks entirely legitimate, Trump defenders have decried the image as a fabrication, claiming that modern technology provides the means to falsify an image to such a convincing extent.
The source added:
It's completely immoral. I had the opportunity to get to know Rumpelstiltskin during my time working for Mr. Donald, and I have to say that he is one of the loveliest people I have ever met. Thinking of him trapped in that tiny, tiny dungeon, working for nothing more than one meal a day... It brings a tear to my eye even now.
He was little more than a broken man last I saw him. He lost everything because of that evil man, even his name. Mr. Donald knew his name, I know he did! But he always called him Trumpelstiltskin instead, probably just so he could hear his own name more often-- he loves that.
Former President Barack Obama was the first to comment on the news;
Hahaha. Hahahhahhaa. Oh' Donnie... I knew it..
How did he ever expect to make America great again, when he can't even make his hair okay again..? Not even with a $3.7 billion fortune to work with.
I win.. Hahha. Mhuhahaha.
Former President George W. Bush also weighed in on the fiasco;
I am happy for President Trump. I love peaches. I wish they had impeached me during my turn.. I mean term.. No wait, it is turn right?
Where am I?
News of the impeachment has caused quite a stir in the political world. Questions have been raised on whether such actions should be taken against a leader based solely on the way they choose to wear their hair. North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has just scheduled a meeting with his barber for later this afternoon, perhaps in response to the current Trump scandal.
We will keep you updated as the story develops.
Click here for similar news stories.
Can't one be impeached just for having tiny, tiny, tiny hands?
HHAHAH Got the best idea :) , America First , Trump's hair second :D Everyone wins and everything is solved , Europe can exit itself from the contest :D
I like having a president who is terrible at coverups.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b5/2b/d6/b52bd606b0cd4b9a79b8744dd9f872df.jpg
looool :D can't hide that yes :D btw his hair is real so it's a work of art :)
next socialist that thinks his grate Barack Hussein Obama II was a good president (killed much more people then Busch (women and children) but he is democrat so let dont talk about it... yes). You wont be even able to see all this film because you would be to shocked by amout of numbers and fascts (whit you can check) and after max 5min you will go to you safe space
I saw this one. It was pretty good. The main problem is that marxists are impervious to facts.
I'm not sure how to get them to actually listen to facts. I knew Obama is a stain on humanity before he took office the first time. It's sad that eight years later there are still people who don't see it.
I hope the only thing for which to pick on Trump is aesthetic nonsense. If he saves civilization, I don't care what his hair looks like, or if he even has hands.
Lol. I really love PhotoShop.
the jist of it , 75 million households , free of taxes :)
no death tax, 15% of tax revenue for the working people , that's really the best tax plan :D ,
can't imagine seeing people work their asses off again :) this time for some returns :D
I guess if you add insurance and health care you would get a 30% tax , but that is half corporate and half government so you would be supporting both sectors anyway.
LOL..Okay. You got me on this one. I'm reading the first part and thinking wtf, not another whiny trump post. Then I hit the announcement... :-) You got me.
Lol. That's great.
It was my hope to have people believing the post was legitimate up until the charges were disclosed.
You got me, too. :-P
I thought the first tag might give it away. Perhaps no one really pays attention to that..
Thanks for the laughter! I badly needed it with what I am listening and learning about what is happening right now:
All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
Never trust a mercenary. Their loyalty is for sale.
I totally hear you! Namaste :)
Unbelievable that they're openly talking of reviving this project.
Just when I thought I couldn't dislike politicians any more than I already do...
so you did watch it , I guess it's my turn , btw have you seen this post @snowflake is purposing whales to downvote and not upvote so everyone else can actually have their Power mean something :D , the conversation is the idea for me at least.
What he said does sound like communisum
Damn , so Phoenix Program is bomb the shit :|
I just checked out the post and responded to it. Thanks for sharing.
I don't consider it communism at all. Whilst it might bring balance to the voting power of many users, it would still only be good content getting rewarded, not every piece of content.
I haven't watched this yet, nor have I ever heard of the phoenix project. But, the name alone alludes to some type of New World Order/ One World Government type of thing.
I will check it out after I eat.
Glad you were able to get a laugh from my post!
You made my sad day bright, dude.
That's a great comment to read right before I go to bed.
Thanks, and you're welcome.
Night-
Should have known.... "hair cut".
@son-of-satire you got us good. :)
Finally... something worthy of your handle/name here. :) Well written.
You're right. I had posted a few satirical pieces when I first joined, but before long became distracted by rediscovered passions and found myself writing much more serious articles and works of fiction.
I felt I had to start living up to this username until a time comes about that I'm able to alter it, so from now on I will be aiming to get one such piece up every week, or every fortnight at the very least.
For a brief moment you had me frowning. I don't have a problem with people impeaching someone for actual actions. Yet there have been people calling for impeachment since before he actually did anything other than speak. Sorry, you can't impeach people for speaking... Though it does seem popular at the moment to protest and riot against free speech. They think free speech means only speech they want to hear.
I was glad once I realized it was satire. At that point it was pretty damn entertaining.
Yes it is ridiculous. The opening paragraphs about the odds of him being impeached were actually factual. You can go put a bet on at 2/1 right now if you wish.
What on Earth is going on with the world today...
I've been calling it backwards world for awhile now...
No Child Left Behind... leaves every child behind
Tell the truth and you are a traitor, be a liar and corrupt and you might rule us all
It very much feels at times like we are living in a mirror world these days.
Stupid is considered "smart"
and smart is considered "stupid"
Assholes are considered nice
Nice people are considered assholes
I have a dormant draft for a post on this subject that I need to revive.
thedailycoin.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/tumblr_m75cpoFBlg1qfpoi8o1_500.jpg
Absolutely. I feel you may enjoy this quote-- it's one of my favourites.
Backwards is the correct word I would say.
We hit the posting limit...
Who was that quote from? Seems like something George Carlin would have said.
It was a gentleman named, Michael Ellner.
George Carlin has plenty of brilliant ones too though.
Very funny :D I needed that laugh.
That's why I do this..
I'm very happy it was able to improve your night.
NICE!!!
Lol!
I'm happy so many of you appear to have gotten a laugh out of this.
Often when I am writing something that I consider to be funny, I wonder whether anyone else actually will, because I tend to laugh at just about everything.
I laugh at everything most of the time. You have to!
True story. If you're unable to find humour in this world then you're going to have a very hard time coping.
Lol, this gave me a few chuckles!!
Hey, you... Quit procrastinating.
Get your entry into the fiction frenzy done.. Lol.
I am taking a while to come up with something also. The last winning paragraph really flipped the script! I don't know where to go from here..
I am so dead.
It's unsurprising that some Iraqis may feel inclined to snatch an American off the street and murder them. How many Iraqi children died as a result of American sanctions, and then after that, how many more with the unjust invasion? I can understand their desire for revenge when their country has been completely destroyed and so many of their children murdered.
I don't, however, believe that every Iraqi would want to kill any American on sight. I think there are plenty who know that a lot of Americans were against the war and even decried it through protest.
I think this guy is missing the point anyway. The travel ban seems to be nothing to do with the so-called immigration crisis to me. It is nothing to do with Islam or Saudi Arabia would also be on the list, among others.
This seems to be a move in preparation for war, though I hope that I'm wrong. It's just too convenient that six of the seven countries mentioned on the list were cited as targets for US invasion around a decade ago.
Great Leader have perfect hair of glorious Juche perfection! He does not receive haircut. Hair of Glorious Leader naturally perfect!
LOL. You've got a job in the propaganda agency. Congratulations!
It's blatantly Donald Trump. He made an account and came to stroke his own ego. lol.
Nahhhh he gonna turn this country around into the dictatorship it always meant to be!
I can't stomach this guy. His arrogance knows no bounds.
I have stopped watching him too. He is a moron.
I'd agree @son-of-satire . He is a dangerous voice, luring people into half truths.
why don;t you like him :D , I used to watch him a lot for half a ear or so , yeah :| better not fix my typing i seems correct :D , so yeah he's really pushing his agenda strongly ,and swamping with "information" maybe it's too much and his character is a bit edgy I agree , but still , he's ok .
Can't say that I cared , even hated the fact he got on the Trump boat and spammed videos to infinity, but I guess politics without philosophy isn't a good place :| , not that he's a political person , but I'm sure hes listened to by voters .5 % :D maybe , random number ..
Evening from me and good day to you probably :D
I have watched a fair few of his videos, even since the formation of my distaste for him. I still feel that he can provide useful information at times.
I just find him to be somewhat megalomaniacal, and very condescending. I have watched a few of his debates and he can be a right cunt when he feels he is winning, and when someone else makes a point he does not know how to rebut, he just responds with excessive bloviation in an effort to sound more intelligent than he really is.
I can only assume that he considers his viewers to be so far beneath him in terms of intelligence, that he expects no one to notice that he is rambling on about a completely unrelated subject, just because he is using lesser known words and phrases.
I'm no psychologist, but my personal observation of the man has led me to believe that he values himself solely on his mental capacity. If he feels his intelligence is being questioned, he lashes out and acts like a child. If he feels that he is looking like the really intelligent man that he believes he is, he cannot help but use it as an excuse to belittle anyone that he feels isn't on that same level of intellect.
In short, he's just not a particularly nice person. He could do with some compassion.
Well ok, but it would be nice if you would show an argument :)
e.g. like this:
Because you don't discuss with Stefan but with his numbers/statistic, if you say he has to big personality then ok maybe, but you dont address facts that he shows... so can you show me with his numbers and FACTS are wrong??? Usually he is precise and he checks and shows his sources for the numbers.
@worldfacts, I don't really have the time to be sourcing examples of what I mean. That's quite a task and I see no reason to commit to it. I am not trying to convince anyone to dislike him. Everyone should make up their own mind based on their own observations.
I was merely explaining my problems with him, in response to an inquiry.
Also, sharing a video in itself is not presenting evidence in an argument. You would need also to break down the video and explain why the video is relevant. Hence why I am reluctant to sacrifice my time to do so.
Yeah wisdom is in a different place from academic pursuits and intelligence.
He is taking the wisdom is virtue maxim to a long stretch and believes himself to be a authority figure responsible for his actions , sure he comes out blunt and sometimes as you've stated and I agree , he has a high disregard for the causes of other people "following their heart " and "gut" , he just views them as lesser beings , not understanding enough and such and such , which from my view is not the case , he is pushing his agenda , got me into philosophy for a bit , liked his inputs , but I have to say I've always "hated" him in a way too , always laughed with him when he points out discrepancies , but understanding and intelligence don't translate to wisdom and understanding always. Too many processes to go through.
Anyway it's his fault his completely against most not mainstream ideas , I understand his reasoning, but he misses the causes sometimes , or is unable to change anything which is normal , anyway I like him , because he has helped me get a different view of problems and a more grounded one.
Apart from that , I agree 80% with him ,so I respect him on those 80% i would act differently 40 of which. So i fully agree with him , but yeah :D figure it out if there is some sense in my thoughts :D Double think to the maximum :D
he was a very bad man, I do not like it
What don't you like?
Trump /Stephan ? who why :D
LMAO on the Bush comment, nice!
Lol thanks.
At first I had said that Bush was unconvinced by the story and remained adamant that it was fake news. Then I had linked this video to show his response.
I decided it would be better to just come up with something on my own though. It isn't difficult when it comes to George.. He is a legitimate cartoon character.
Lol very good!
Glad you liked it!
Very nicely done...LOL!
Thanks a lot, mate.