This is a great post! You've got a really good writing voice.
I relate to this so much! I turned 48 this year and the big lesson I came away from concerts with is that my old legs can't handle being "VIP" at a general admission show. VIP GA shows allow early entrance. But, of course, no chairs. So you're essentially paying for the privilege of standing for an additional two hours.
So, while I would have loved to have the advantage of early GA access when I was young (and too broke to afford it!), I am no longer willing, as an old person, to do that. Give me chairs or give me... chairs!
Thanks so much for the great post. You really made me laugh. ;)