I hoped to give you all a look into my heart and my mind. To see the love I have for what I do and the grief that can sometimes accompany it. I know to lose is not to have lost ....that love remains. Its just hard to ease the hearts and minds of those left behind, to walk away while the family of the lost begs you to do more but there is nothing else you can do. I find strength to support them in their grief, then allow myself to feel in my own privacy.
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And you did a great job of all of that in the post. I felt it all.