We all have them. Things that we do that we know...pretty much suck. Be it that shitty song that you rock the fuck out to in your car on your way to get a chocolate milkshake at midnight. Or maybe it’s the awful movie that you cannot turn off that you admit is the purest form of monkey shit ever filmed. Mmmmm...no...It’s that snack that you shove down your stupid gullet knowing it’s shaving years off your life or will give you a few rounds of super sweaty mudd butt. You know the kind...It’s your guilty pleasure and once again...we all have them. Guilty pleasures and moist bouts of the trots.
What I’d like to do today is share what some of mine are in the hopes that you will do the same. We need to get people talking, writing, and active on here again. I see the same 13 of my friends here active and the rest of you are either hopefully dead or severely slacking on your responsibility to blog with your stupid internet friends...so let’s have some fun with this!!!
Being inspired by @themarkymark’s recent Writing Prompt Contest which you all should be entering...got me thinking of trying my own. (Hope you don’t mind brother.) The topic is Guilty Pleasures. What you do from there is up to you. Just take the 10 minutes and write up a post involving that topic. Use the hashtag #guiltypleasures as one of your tags so I can find it and so the other 13 of us can read it and absorb just how disappointing you truly are. I will personally select 3 winners (if 3 of you participate) to receive 10 Steem each. I know...I’m a high roller. I’ll pick which entries I like best. The good news for me is with the state of the crypto market and the fact that we have 7 days until payout, Steem will be worth .11 cents so I won’t be out much. (I kinda stole this joke from @whatsup’s last post as it housed a lot of truth.) Also if anyone is feeling generous and would like to contribute to the prizes, just send it over with the memo Guilty Pleasures Prize. It will all be evenly distributed between the 3 winners.
HEY WHALES, I could use a little support with this. Please help spread the word to your minions. Would be nice to see some entries!!!
Anyway...here are some of mine...
- Food
Raw cookie dough is my jam. I don’t do it often but once in a while I will buy a tube of Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and within a couple of days, it will be gone. I just squeeze a chunk the size of a fucking baby’s head out and munch that shit until I hate myself more than I already do. I’ve NEVER baked cookies from these. Ever. I also need to shave my disgusting neck beard. Also, feel free to meme the fuck outta this. Maybe that can be my next contest that nobody enters.
- Internet
When I feel like I’m in need of a good chuckle, I usually think of my insignificant manhood which usually leads to a good shower cry & tug. I get an entire range of emotions from that which results in a good climax, but when I don’t want to turn on the water works over the Vienna Sausage I was blessed with...I pop on a video of Fritz the Golden Retriever. I thought my son couldn’t catch to save his life (he can’t) but Fritz is equally as bad. This poor pup is so atrocious at what should be second nature to him it’s hysterical. I’ll also watch Will Ferrell Bloopers on a loop. “I can feel it...down in my plums.” Classic...
- Song
Ugh...I wanna punch my own throat whenever this tune comes on as I can’t turn it off. I’m talking about the super smash hit Happy, by Pharrell Williams. I could be at a funeral and the car passing by is playing this. I will start dancing (kinda) like a madman. Let me just set something straight here. I have absolutely zero rhythm and I am an atrocious dancer. I’m the whitest semi kinda brownish person ever. Imagine with me for a sec...if the awkward dance skills of Elaine from Seinfeld and Carlton from Fresh Prince somehow made the fuck together and shit out a colossal disappointment of dance moves. That accurately describes me when Happy comes on. Also I belt it out like Will Ferrell in Stepbrothers. I’ve been called “The Songbird of My Generation”.
- TV Show
I watch a lot of television shows in between crying and crying some more. I tend to be a bit of a tv snob as I watch a ton of riveting dramas and thrillers. Yet once in a while I’ll plop my tank ass down on the couch and indulge in some sweet mindnumbing drivel like Tanked. Tanked is one of those horrific “reality” shows that follows these 2 incredibly unfunny Johnny Lunchpails as they design kickass fish tanks and aquariums for people who have more money than all of us combined. They conjure up some sweet tanks but holy hell do they bog the show down with unnecessary drama between these 2 lunkheads. Either way, I miss my sweet tank I used to have filled with Stingray, Fire Eels, Puffers, and Gars and this is as close as I can get to those glory days for the time being.
- Movies
Before Michael J. Fox starting mixing drinks juuuuuust the way James Bond enjoys em...he was a supporting character in a flicker picture called Midnight Madness. This...is...not a good film but I absolutely love it. It’s about a dude who throws a killer all night scavenger hunt in LA where 5 teams are pitted against each other to the death! Ok. Nobody dies but there are a ton of great lines and gags in it so that makes up for the lack of bloodshed. Each team is based on total cliche stereotypes. You got the nerdy team, the party animals, the scummy cheaters, the chicks, and the normal schmoes. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a big bong rip and get some nachos and rent it. It is actually a really fun idea...it’s just fairly dated.
Interesting side note...when I worked at Outback Steakhouse in Valencia California in 2001, I waited on the star of Midnight Madness, Mr. David Naughton. He’s also from American Werewolf in London and a bunch of other crap. He was a real nice guy and we chatted a bit. I had to take the opportunity to tell him that I really loved one of his films. He was honored and asked which one, to which I replied Midnight Madness. He literally laughed and said nobody had ever told him that. That was in 2001 and I bet I’m still the only person to utter those words to him.
These are just examples. You do NOT have to stick with these categories. Whatever you come up with. If you can only think of 1 to list...you are really uncreative but sure...we will take it. I can only look at so many pictures of leaves and sammiches on here guys...let’s fun this shit up!!!
Thanks for reading & (hopefully) participating. Spread the good word folks. Let’s get some laughs. I can’t cry all the time!!! (Yes I can)
Blewitt
UPDATE
Thanks to the kindness of @whatsup and @soundwavesphoton , we have another 10 Steem to add the prizes....anyone else want to add a few??? It currently sits at 40 now total to be divided evenly by 3.
oooh I am totally going to enter this. Just so you can absorb how disappointing I truly am. LOL
Seriously though... I have so many guilty pleasures... could write for daaayyyz.
Hell yeah! Look at you gearing up to win that tasty chunk of 10 delicious Steem!!! lol
Look...you played on the dirty streetcorner by yourself tonight for 5 bucks...I've done worse on the steetcorner for less...can't be any worse than me...
:)
Is one of them spelling days with 3 a's and 3 y's? :P
I'm in too, while there are only 13 of us I can post some shameful stuff and no-one will see it, weeee!
don't forget the z
This sounds fun, I´ll make sure to join ^.^
Thanks brother. Looking forward to seeing yours!!!
Oh yesss let’s get some fun action in here! I’m heading to bed but I’ll read this properly tomorrow and try to come up with my own post in the coming days, I do have a lot of weird hedonistic tendensies 😝
Let’s hear them!!! Looking forward to hearing about your insanity as well.
ha!
Alright, resteem boots on, partly for advertisement and party cause it's 4 am and this will be out of mind and sight unless it's in my feed.
Got one already for my tune though, fucking ace pop song and no-one can tell me otherwise. Later!
lol...I know we were joking in the chat but look at the 3 responses thus far. lol
Thank you kind sir! Looking forward to seeing just how embarrassing of an old human you truly are.
I really hope you get 12 responses. Already told you, it's Level 4 not 40!
Fingers crossed on the responses.
Gotcha...
Oh my god, you nut! This is hilarious. And I love the fact that you will just say absolutely anything. Right on social media. I've led a sad, stunted little existence! Why???
Okay... I may have to attempt this. We'll see. I have deadlines up the wazoo, but I may be able to pull something out of my... imagination.
Eh...if it makes someone laugh then it’s worth it. I find that I’m a lot happier when I can laugh at myself. Self deprecating humor is something I’m drawn to. I Loooooove comedy. I go to shows and watch tons of stand up specials. I have friends who do it and throw it all out there on a stage. It seems so liberating to do so but I’m not there. I don’t have the confidence nor the material but this platform has kinda given me a little bit of a voice to be silly so I’m just rolling with it.
❤️
I am truly inspired! It is way too easy to take life too seriously.
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Awwww. Thanks!!
Funny thing is I get in my own head so often. I feel like I thrive on being around smiles. If not, I think too much and that’s never good. Lol
Get 'em, boys and girls! He can't flag us all! :D
https://steemit.com/guiltypleasures/@modernzorker/blewitt-s-guilty-pleasures-writing-contest
Nope. Just you.
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Whooop I’m coming for this one ☝🏼
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My birthday flags are waiting...
I know I'm slow but will do I promise lol.
Remember...you are writing for 2 now.
Nominating the following to get cracking...
@honeydue, @phoenix32, @llfarms, @modernzorker, @slobberchops, @nomadicsoul, @raj808.
Yeah yeah.. I’m still thinking, but have only 2 categories so far and one is from the deep past fron my drug fuelled days
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Lol. Put it on the chain!!!
I will I will!!! I’m gonna have to google guilty pleasures though.. I need more directions...
Hmmmm. There’s gotta be a world of embarrassing shit for you to share with all of the world.
dancing to "Happy" with you
It’s so freaking catchy. Asher’s choice is also catchy as hell and I will admit I’m a fan of it as well.
Okay, I did a guilty pleasures post. That was some serious fun. Thanks for coming up with this! ;)
Thanks so much for participating!!! You are the best. Resteemed abd upvoted already.
Oh wow. Someone just told me that Im being lazy and not doing my responsibility to post here in steemit. Hahahhaha thanks for the nudge. I definitely need this. I really need to go back steeming. Hehehe
Ya gonna pop one up?!?
OMG. This is hilarious. I started seeing posts other people were making for your contest so had to come back and find this.
Your story about eating raw cookie dough reminded me of how as a little kid I used to eat RAW MEATLOAF. Fucking disgusting and my mother must have wished me dead via ecoli. Ground up cow, ketchup, and onions. WTF?
Lololol
Thanks! Omg I love raw cookie dough. More so than cookies. Lol. Raw meatloaf...that sounds like what we used to serve at a country club I worked at ages ago. Steak Tartar. Weak. 😂
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Bomb! Thanks for the love!!!
expect mines tomorrow amigo! :D
I’m just going to keep refreshing u too it pops up...so excited...😜
Its already ready.... But because its you I AM actually going to wait until tomorrow...maybe even longer :P
Lololol. Just saw this now.
Sooo when is this ending?? I don't want to look like an idiot, if everyone's already moved on...... I'm having slight FOMO, slight
Sorry. Just saw this now. Busy day yesterday ignoring you.
Bust day?! I want one of those!
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Dammit! Fixed. Now you just look stupid.
People will think what they want to think anyway...
😂
lol kinda wanna watch tanked now
It’s fairly shitty. If they just took the 13 minutes of them doing the tanks it would be purely awesome but they always have some wacky ass scripted hijinx going in which sucks.
Now that I wrote it and read it again I feel more guilty, however here it is:
https://steemit.com/guiltypleasures/@road2horizon/guilty-pleasures-contest-cry-baby-cry
You are in! Thanks a ton
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What a fun challenge! I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Here's my entry: https://steemit.com/life/@jayna/guilty-pleasures-why-not.
Super happy you entered!!! These are a decent amount of work but I will definitely do one again in the near future. Got a few silly ideas I am kicking around in the ol' noggin.
OH MY GOD this post freaks me out. Did you know that people can get sick and DIE from eating raw cookie dough? It's the single thing that scares me apart from mennicoccal - why do kids share water bottles/????? Eek.
Yeah...but it’s so damn tasty... 😂
What’s the deadline for this @blewitt?
Hey @kommienezuspadt, Midnight tonight eastern time!!!
Don't know if my entry made it in - in time - but here it is.
https://steemit.com/guiltypleasures/@artwatch/guiltypleasures
There were 2 late entries but I’m adding em in. You guys went through the trouble to write it and it’s not like it’s a ton of dough at stake. So yeah. You are in!!! Thank you so much!
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Awesome sauce!
Thanks again for participating!!!