Robert Goddard, father of modern rocketry did not foresee spaceflight applications. He believed clouds to be a race of parasitic aliens plaguing mankind since the dawn of time and hoped his invention could be used to kill them.
"Those god damned fluffy white motherfuckers, looming high above, looking down on us honest hard working folks and pissing on everything we love. They won't be laughing when my cloudbuster multi-stage kill vehicle comes online. I will be the only one laughing! Me! Ha ha, that's me laughing. Abolish clouds forever! Ron Paul 2012."
When questioned about a series of unexplained explosions in a village three miles from his launch site which claimed over a hundred lives, Goddard replied that the ways of nature are ineffable and that sometimes "explosions just happen", adding that it may very well be a pre-emptive strike by the Cumulonimbus Armada. "Truly, they will stop at nothing."
This has been an installment of Real True History. All purported facts contained herein are works of fiction and satire. Anybody who mistakes them for actual facts has brain problems I am powerless to fix. That is all, go home.
haha this is way better than the truth :D
I can only laugh and thanks to his perception that he killed those aliens...
Steem on...and stay blissful...
ha ha ha it could sound way better than reality.
Any way nice one @alexbeyman
pre-emptive strike does the trick again.
Thanks @alexbeyman and Have a great day.
Once you start seeing the truths behind the lies you start to realize how awesome history is.
Goddard was super ahead of his time. Unfortunately the cloudfolk have made great advancements in the war effort, employing human double agents to release weaponized chemtrails.
I'm glad that you're finally cracking into some good old fashioned history now, man. Can't wait to see your post on the reptoids who invaded from another star system to destroy the lost city of Atlantis. Those bloodthristy lizard fucks.
They'll never rape my butthole...because you can't rape the willing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I mean, but what if they try to stick it in your ear? I'd say that's going too far and borderlines on ear rape.
I'll be ok, I've listened to Korn
Lmao. I have a friend who would be so fucking mad if he saw this. Dude has been obsessed with KoRn since we were like 13 years old. You try saying anything bad about them and he flips his shit, it's funny to watch at least.
If he likes Korn, he is still 13 years old.
He doesn't just like Korn, he fucking adores them. He has went on tirades about why Jonathan Davis is one of the greatest musicians to ever grace this earth, and he'll tell stories of their guitar player which he met for like an hour if you let him.
Thankfully I don't talk about music much with him anymore like I used to, lol.
Perhaps the aliens stroke occasionally!
🤣
It's great to be learning some real history for a change instead of that lying by omission crap I learned in school. I can't wait to share these facts with my children when they get a bit older.
Lol, that is one way to look at the clouds, right? I've always thought there's something off about them! Turns out they are actually alien origin... my whole life was a life :O Well, enough jokes for taday :D
Thank god he killed those aliens!
Hey, hey It really happened! Don't u darrrr say it's all fiction! Cloudbuster multi-stage kill vehicle is still used in some distant rocket factories!
Damn man, I'm holding my stomach from laughter, for real... And it hurts u know!!!
Yeah! that's a true story,but you know alexbeyman?
The first rockets were probably the result of a side invention of the manually fired fire arrow, which was essentially an arrow strapped with gunpowder fired from a bow. According to Liang Jieming, two Song dynasty generals by the name of Yue Yifang and Feng Jisheng invented a variant fire arrow which used gunpowder tubes as propellant. However more documentary evidence of rockets does not appear until the 13th century.Rockets may have been used as early as 1232. There were reports of fire arrows and 'iron pots' that could be heard for 5 leagues (25 km, or 15 miles) when they exploded upon impact, causing devastation for a radius of 600 meters (2,000 feet), apparently due to shrapnel.[1] Rockets are recorded to have been used by the Song navy in a military exercise dated to 1245. Internal-combustion rocket propulsion is mentioned in a reference to 1264, recording that the 'ground-rat,' a type of firework, had frightened the Empress-Mother Gongsheng at a feast held in her honor by her son the Emperor Lizong.
Yeah, i already tried that one.
Didn't work.
Haha. I'm looking forward to more of this series!
Little did he know that he is a piss drinker him self... Stops drinking water because it is alian piss
Love these kinds of posts you make because you always go into topics that I'm REALLY interested in...but have no idea about.
Lmao at "Those god damned fluffy white motherfuckers"
Haha love some good satire and this is on point. I had a good laugh!
Hey, these days there are a lot of funny moments.
That one was hilarious! I'm laughing so hard right now... freaking clouds :D
Your disclaimer at the bottom makes it all worth it. Times of alternative facts, indeed.
But be careful now, they will be watching you even more closely since you're revealing deep secrets.... you know, the deep dwelling, Cthulhu-worshipping, cattle-organ-stealing, crop-circle-communicatin' mole people!
"One weird secret THEY don't want you to know about! The illuminati HATES him! Click here to find out more!"
Well this took me on a rollercoaster of emotions lol.
@alexbeyman,
If he had a chance to know you will modify the story probably he will set a rocket to fly over your house before he died :D Nice one dude :D
Cheers~
"and hoped his invention could be used to kill them." What a violent invention.
Lol he believed so wrongly today, man has achieved a lot through modern rocketery
It's satire. He didn't really believe that.
Hahaha well he didn't say!
I mean...Can we be really sure that he didn't believe that? Maybe he had a journal somewhere that had a bunch of crazy shit in it about microscopic aliens in the clouds that he hoped his rocket fuel could annihilate or something. We don't know, mannn.
super history, i hope such post my friend ...
when you invented a rocket for destruction purpose but later become of extreme usefulness.....his believe on alien is rather funny
It's satire. He didn't really believe that.
yeah, that's true.....his awe of the unknown alien has led to a magical transformation in modern days..... his brilliant mind is and will always be respected
this is so good i loved t and i expect more great articles like this
Always creating the real point . good jon done here my boss
Alex - I never heard about this story... I know the rocket man :) the crazy guy with nuclear power not working rockets :) But the history today I learn from you... Nice article Alex, a different article from you... I like it & hope to see more from you...
+W+
It's a joke. None of it is true. That's what "satire" means.
Alex - Oh now I feel like I'm undressed :)
+W+
@alexbeyman. ..bro very nice story....is it real history or written by some one writer..any way very nice story of the old days history..thank you for sharing with us....@alexbeyman
that's a great true story man.
keep it man.
Thanks For Sharing
Yea he is father, but Von Braun was father and mother, haha cool story :D