This is a follow up to the last episode of the Love and sexuality podcast - Love and sexuality podcast #5 - What do you consider a red flag?, where I and @chrinnox discussed red flags and concluded that the best thing to do would be to take a break from such relationship while evaluating what you want from a relationship with what you're getting at the moment.
With more time put into reflection and observation, I realised that it's easy to give advice to people in situations without actually being there, hence I realised that the best solution wouldn't be to simply take a break or end the relationship. That solution would only work theoretically.
Relationships have to do with our emotions which require time to build. Time, energy, money and many other things have been invested into the relationship at some point, therefore it wouldn't be so easy to let go because our emotions will always be at play regardless of how logical we can be.
The best solution would be to discuss some of these imperfections or red flags you've observed with your partner in a very soothing way, after which your partners response will decide if the relationship should continue or not.
If your partner is accepts your opinion regarding the observed red flags and is willing/able to take necessary steps into correcting those imperfections where necessary, then the can continue but if not, then maybe it's time to let go.
The solution is not as simple as letting your partner go as soon as red flags are observed, but with effective communication, things can be resolved. Letting your partner go should only be on the condition that he/she is not willing to accept a red flag exists. That would be my definition of a one-sided relationship.
Feel free to drop your comment/opinion in the comment section.
See you on the next one.
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Previous episodes of the Love and Sexuality Podcast!
Love and Sexuality Podcast #1- Communication in relationships
Love and sexuality Podcast #2- Misconception on exposing children to sex education
Love and sexuality Podcast #3- Pansexuality from the African perspective
Love and sexuality Podcast #4- Expressing your love interest as an African woman!
Love and sexuality Podcast #5- What do you consider a red flag?
Regards!
uchihanagato!
▶️ 3Speak
Hmmmn you're right!
It's easy for us to say "let go"
Just as you've said.
the best thing to do is discuss the red flags with your partner, give them time to observe if there would be changes or not, then after that you can take the decision of letting go.
Yes, thank you for your comment. It's easier to give advice than to take it. Hence, the initial conclusion was the easy way out but wasn't very realistic especially since our emotions are not something that can be regulated by a simple on and off switch.
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Thank you!
You're welcome @uchihanagato! Have a nice day 😊👍
Some partners accept their difference and take away the red flag before it ruins their situation, it happens in relationship, differences can be considered as a room for red flag
But running away immediately isn't always the best solution. Some partners are actually willing to make ammendments. So it's best to talk it out first before deciding.
Red flags are not so bad if you can live with them, but if you can't, the best bet is to simply let go. Though it may not be easy but I wouldn't risk a future with someone who wouldn't be willing to make adjustments where necessary.
Thank you, you're right.
It's not easy to let go just like that even after noticing red flags. Even if I can't live with red flags, I will still check if changes will occur at some point.
Good decision. 😋
Sometimes some people mistake red flag for challenges a relationship face.
Imagine a guy who has plans for the future and budget the way he spends his money. To some ladies, he is stingy and doesn't want to spend on them which they consider a red flag mean while it might be a current challenge. If people can't determine the different between the two, it would cause a big problem
The inability to differentiate between red flag and challenges is a red flag on it's own. Plus any lady that has the mentality that a relationship should be about the other party spending on her really requires a psychiatrist because that's a major red flag which cannot be corrected.
I understand you man
Taking note of a partners red flag and discussing with them about it and finding a way to solve such behaviors will ultimately strengthen a couples bond and in turn save the relationship.
But the relationships isn't always safe especially if the partner isn't willing to talk about his or her flaws.
Yay! 🤗
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