I don't want to hijack your post, but this really resonates with me. I could have my own blog about this, but I'm not that brave yet.
I don't have a coming out story because I didn't come out to my parents yet and I don't have plans of coming out. If for some reason they will be able to read this comment, well, this will be my coming out story. One of the reasons I didn't come out is because I felt I'm even being an outcast to the community. Since high school, I really don't belong to a certain group. I felt I was not flamboyant or soft enough to be with the gays nor I was not girly enough to be with the girls. God knows how I hate makeup. How much more with the boys. I felt I'm too feminine to be with the alpha males and I find fragile masculinity to be too imposing and toxic. All throughout high school, I felt that I'm in my own league. And it was sad. I felt like no one understood me. That's why I overcompensate in academics. I excelled in math and sciences because I don't know how to dance or sing, unlike my classmates.
It was in college that I felt real friendships. I felt that no matter who I will be and who I will love, my friends will accept me. But because of how taxing chemical engineering was, I didn't get the chance to explore my sexuality. I was also involved with a very conservative Christian denomination that I felt being part of the LGBT community was an abomination. When asked if I was gay or what, I won't answer because I honestly don't know how to answer that question. Even now, I still find it difficult for me to label myself as such. I felt that there was so much in my psyche to be just labeled as part of one group. I tried to label myself, but I felt I always come short of those labels. Again, I'm in my own league. But I'm not sad anymore. I learned to embrace my inability to put labels on myself.
To those who might question why I'm like this, believe me when I say I tried to act "normal". I tried to conform. I tried to squeeze myself into a box just to belong. I just couldn't. In a world where being "normal" is lauded and celebrated, why would I choose to be different? Why would I make myself miserable? Why would I choose to be discriminated against and treated as another-class citizen?
OMG! I feel like this is trauma dumping. Anyway, Happy Pride! Let the struggle continue until the world will accept us as we are. SOGIESC should be passed now for starters.