Lily, the eldest of 8 children, was born on the farm Aasvoel near Humansdorp in the Eastern Cape, South Africa, where her father worked.
Lily's caring nature came to the fore at a young age when she had to take care of her youngest baby sister Doreen at night while her mother was in hospital with rheumatic fever. Her father's sister took care of the baby during the day, but Doreen sadly passed away after contracting gastroenteritis leaving the family heartbroken; they often spoke of baby Doreen.
The family moved to Richmond Hill in Port Elizabeth where they lived for many years.
Lily went to Mackie School and had a thirst for learning; loved the violin and took violin lessons, but as it was the depression years, she had to stop the lessons and leave school in Standard 6 to find work and help the family survive.
It made her endlessly sad that she never finished her schooling as she was a bright lass, but she loved listening to the violin, often with a tear or two in her eyes.
Lily found work at Kodak Photographic Studio where she was trained to colour in black and white photos with a painting technique as there was no colour photography back then.
The photo below is a good example and actually is Mom Lily and Dad Malan on their wedding day.
Their love of music brought them together as Malan played in a band with her father; he caught her hook, line and sinker with his guitar playing; they were keen fishermen after all!
Lily's talented siblings all had great respect and fondness for their 'big' sister whose heart of gold, great sense of humour and cheeky attitude won over many people throughout the 90 years that she graced this earth; her circle of friends ranged from all walks of life and everyone were treated with the same respect and caring nature.
Lily excelled at cooking and baking just like her mother, loved walking and keeping fit, was a keen fisherwoman; always looked for an excuse to paint, not portraits; no, this little lady would climb the ladder and paint the walls in the most beautiful shades and even spruced up their church kitchen with the paintbrush!
Her great-granddaughter 10-year-old Mia-Lily also inherited her namesake's cheeky attitude and is already baking at this tender age!
Malan & Lily had 5 children; sadly lost two tragically and unexpectedly many years ago, leaving only three surviving children.
Family meant everything to Lily and she unselfishly sacrificed much to make her family comfortable.
Lily did voluntary work at Sizanani Academy of Sewing and Design during the period after Malan's retirement when he became the church's handyman until his unexpected death in September 2002.
They were living in their dream granny cottage which Arthur designed with input from both Malan & Lily; she stayed there on her own for 8 years after Malan's death but moved in with us until her death.
The cottage has now become a successful BnB called Lily's Cottage.
Lily had been living with a benign brain tumour for many years which caused a balance problem, but on 2 January, the pressure of the tumour on her brain stem caused a severe seizure that left her with speech, swallowing and breathing problems, plus she lost her mobility.
The family gathered one last time so Ouma Lily got to see them all together.
She had one request, which we eventually worked out was wine, obviously wanting one last toast as it was her son's birthday.
A sweet Hanepoot was bought, diluted with a little water, and given to her in a 10ml syringe as that was the only way she could take liquids in. She likely only managed to swallow 5ml, but that was her way of wanting to be part of the togetherness and give us a good chuckle, even though she was suffering and only holding out till everyone departed the next morning.
Mom Lily left this world quietly the next day; leaving behind 2 siblings, 3 children, 8 grandchildren, 8 great-grandchildren all of who had a special place in her heart.
Lily made a huge impact on many lives and has left a huge hole in the lives of many, but will remain in our hearts forever.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and I know that it must have been a day spent in sorrow.
As time passes fond memories of your mom will replace the sorrow, and smiles will light up your face as you recall a life so filled with love and caring.
There are special people in our lives like your mom that touch those around them and in so doing we become better people.
Your mom was a precious lady that was so loved by her family. Observing and being around to share in this life is a blessing like no other.
I really feel blessed to have had a Mom who is so special and so unique, and to have had her living with us for her last 20 years.
More and more of the good memories are coming to the fore which I really need as Mom's last month was just awful, she really suffered but was in her own bed and was pampered by the 2 day carers who alternated,
Thank you so much for your kind words @thebigsweed!
Dear Lizelle, I am truly sorry for your loss, you and your family have been taking good care of her throughout the years, it must be to deal with the grief right now and hope you can see how great you did, how beautiful her legacy is, I find that wedding picture really beautiful.
My prayers go to you, your loved ones Lily, take care. ❤️
Thank you Ed, it's wonderful remembering the good times but difficult at times to think of how she suffered.
I do believe however, that Mom Lily is young and well again wherever she is right now!
Thank you for the lovely message and your prayers, really appreciate it 🙏🏻💔
Sorry for your loss @lizelle. What a nice eulogy that sums up a happy life well lived. She sounds like quite the character and clearly loved art and music, and was fun to be around. Isn't it funny that many like a last tipple when they're about to go, like a little way of celebrating and being part of somethign right up to the end. You'll remember her with sunflowers I'm sure. Much love.
Mom wasn't a lover of floral bouquets but loved sunflowers as you can see🌻
A friend told me her father also wanted one last tipple before his death, must be their way of saying cheers to the world😥🌻🌻🌻You've summed up Mom perfectly, thank you @riverflows🌻
@lizelle I am touched by this news, I am sorry your mom is no longer with you. How beautiful it was that you were able to share with her, I can imagine you together toasting, it fills my heart with tenderness, it makes me think of my grandmother who died a little more than a year ago, and I remember her every day with special tenderness.
In spite of the sadness that I imagine you feel, it is good that you were able to have her and enjoy her for such a long time, not everyone has that joy.
When we say goodbye to our loved ones, within the sadness we can feel the satisfaction of having loved them and having done everything we could for them.
I send you a hug and I ask God for strength for you.
Thank you so very much for the beautiful message @mjvdc! Yes we were blessed to have Mom for so long but very sad that she suffered so much. Thankfully her suffering is over and we'll try to hold on to the good memories🙏🏻🌻🌻🌻
Good memories are the most valuable thing we have left of our loved ones. 😊
My dearest Lizelle, my heart is with you today as you process the loss of your sweet mom, Lily. I wish I had the right words, but just know I care. Let the beautiful memories provide comfort in your journey.
Such a vibrant human, she lived her best life, almost until the very end. We should all take her as an example of how to do it. Lily leaves a big hole, but, she is resting in peace.
Rest in Peace, Lily ❤️
Thank you for your words of comfort Denise, I really appreciate it❤
Yes, Mom made the best of each day, her cheeky nature but warm heart stayed there to the end. It was just awful to see her suffer like that in the end, but we know she is at peace now.
That song the Eagles wrote after 9/11 just made me think of Mom Lily and what a big hole she's leaving in our world!
I will try to emulate the legacy she leaves behind ❤
I am so sorry to hear this, @lizelle. My heart truly goes out to you and your family. What a beautiful way to remember your mother, I'm sure she would've been touched to see her legacy put into words so well. I hope the coming months bring peace and comfort to you and yours.
Thank you so very much for your kind words @honeydue! I've missed chatting to you for a very long time, very apt that it's this blog that brought you here. I still remember your wonderful blog in response to @ericvancewalton's timetravel 101 challenge, you wrote to your 50 year old self and I to my 80 year old self. My cover pic was of my Mom as I would want to emulate the way she lived her life; no granny clothes nor shoes for her, she certainly had style, but kind of tomboyish. I really miss her but her suffering had to come to an end.
I remember that! You are blessed to have had such a role model and inspiration so close to you. It's rarer than it might seem.
So sorry for your loss. Our hearts cry beside yours and our prayers lift you up. May our God and Father grant you peace and comfort during this time. 😢🙏
Thank you so very much @steelthong, I really appreciate your message and prayers 🙏🏻
I am so very sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. You did such a good job taking care of her these past few years and I hope the thought of that, and the good memories, bring you lots of comfort. Take care of yourself Lizelle.
Thank you Eric, yes I will hold on to the good memories of happier times and recall those!
We're still catching our breath, but the caring and worrying has become so ingrained that both hubby and I find ourselves having fleeting thoughts to check if Mom's ok!
We all have to say goodbye some time and Mom tried to warn me of that💔🌻🌻🌻
Now at rest her soul continues through each and everyone she touched,.
Mom always makes me think of my own who ironically loved her Hanepoort with lemonade, which she mixed most drinks with.
Thoughts go to you and the family, a life well lived!
!LUV
(4/10) gave you LUV.
H-E tools | connect | <><@joanstewart
Thank you Joan, funnily enough, Mom also enjoyed a sweet wine mixed with coke or lemonade. She used to make a herbal wine with half dry wine and half a red muscadel, then her & I would have a small glass at night. The men enjoyed it too, so we hid it from them😉
Mom has left a huge legacy and a big hole in our hearts💔🙏🏻
Herbal wine sounds different, Oh the older generation were very special.
Time does not fix or mend, it is now daily memories we learn to live with. 🤗
Lovely tribute to your mother Lizelle. You've often spoken highly of her, in ways that made me love her. Her final day with you all could not have been more fitting. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Ah thank you so much for this @owasco, Mom truly was a unique and dearly loved lady with her spunky but loving nature. I'm missing her terribly but am thankful that her suffering finally ended!
My dear @lizelle, I can't believe this is happening, it is very sad to read this news.
There are no words that can console so much sadness in your heart, I only pray to God that you get comfort in the good moments you lived with your dear mother.
What a beautiful tribute you pay to your mother with this publication, I am with you from the bottom of my heart.
Dear @carolinacardoza, thank you so much for your sincere message. I'm trying to forget the past year and especially the past month and writing these last 2 blogs about my amazing little Mom has certainly helped.
My condolences friend for such an irreparable loss. May God give rest to his soul and resignation to you and your relatives.
Thank you @isabelpena, appreciate your kind words🙏🏻
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I'm sorry for your loss @lizelle, big hugs.
Thank you for that @drakernoise, much appreciated 🙏🏻
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Oh my gosh Lizelle I had no idea until now. My sincere condolences. My heart hurts as I feel I've known her through you. She was an inspiration as a woman who lived a long strong life smiling and obviously was a loving mother.
Wishing for your heart to heal my friend.❤️
Thank you for your sincere wishes, it was really tough losing Mom but she suffered terribly for a whole month, so it was a release for her as the tumour started causing huge problems with mobility, speech, swallowing and eventually her breathing. It was distressing for us but more so for her and very frightening as well. I know she's causing havoc in a better place, Mom was quite unique, cheeky but in a loving way. She'll always be in my heart ❤Ah thank you @carolynstahl, I saw your message late one night but was exhausted and only remembered to reply now, so sorry my friend!
Oh dear @lizelle I would never be disappointed to not receive a response from you especially in your situation. I know what it's like to lose someone. When my dad died, I never thought I could get rid of the sad heart. At the same time I was happy he could move on and out of the discomfort.
I wish you extreme peace my friend.❤️
That's exactly how I feel, such mixed feelings; one minute relieved that Mom's suffering is over, but then the smallest memory sets off that feeling of total abandonment! I often find myself wanting to ask her questions but it's not to be.
Thank you my friend!
I know it's a little late to comment on this post, but I always say better late than never.
Mom Lily was an artist, I didn't know that in the past photographs were colored, what a beautiful picture of her parents at their wedding. She celebrated until the last moment of her life together with her family, what a good attitude in the face of adversity.
Thank you @soyunasantacruz, it's never too late to comment! I really appreciate your kind thoughts. Yes it was quite strange to think they had to paint the black and white photos back then, obviously it came at an extra cost;) I really miss my mom!
His mom did a great job on her own photo, 😍.
I know he misses her, I don't want to imagine what my life will be like if my mom leaves first, we are very close we have always lived together, and apparently because of the winds that blow and the time that doesn't stop, there is a good chance that I will remain single and childless.
So my mom is the person who takes over the most love I can give someone. 🥺 @lizelle 🤗