Hi Mary! Your posts are always full of some interesting insight, whether artful, or in this case, ruminating. Thanks to @wesphilbin for pointing out this specific one... and I am wondering: could it be that, when coming back to this town, your soul was yearning for the comfort of a past that you knew? The prospect of change is scary, and the town brought back memories of a time when things were stable and made sense, including when you were with this person. Is it possible that you don't necessarily miss the individual, but the circumstances surrounding being with them?
Of course, this is all a bunch of psychobabble, which I'm hoping could break your mind away from the magnet to which it's stuck. In either case, far more importantly...
You had the guts to pursue your own way in life yet again. Many people regret not at least attempting to do so, but you'll honestly be able to look back on your life and not have this great regret. That truly is a powerful concept. And of course, if at any point during this transitional process, you need help through a kind word, that's absolutely ok, and feel free to reach out to me for the support. We rely on each other to grow - we're programmed that way! And yes, you are very much worth it. 😊
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Hello! I appreciate your comment and thoughts, it made me think.
Our brain loves the familiar for sure. I surprised myself when I felt tears in my eyes passing through that town. I am trying to figure out what I am feeling and why. I started writing down in a journal, it helps a bit. Also I started therapy which I hope it will bring some clarity for my soul and mind.
I can appreciate the good things about that person yet there were some details which indicate that my love was not reciprocated and that hurts. Maybe the most important question I should answer to myself is why I stayed with someone who did not love me? Why did I hope they will? I will take it with baby steps and continue therapy as I also make these changes in my life. From what I noticed that person moved on and they seem happy. So I am the one who is still stuck and ruminating. So I will just have to solve it and make my soul understand . It is a process and I am open about it because I feel that Hive is my safe little coccoon. And I want people to see me as a human, beyond the artistic posts that I share. Thank you for your kind words🤗
That's completely fair. This is your own journey, and I hope that you're able to go through it, learn along the way, and come out better than when you began. Indeed, there is absolutely a human behind every artist. Humanity is what begets art!
I agree.