Damn, with the tears. This was such, such a beautiful read.
I don't know, aren't they with you? I think they become the trees and the ocean, too, but that is with you, and maybe in a sense they're there, only a bit since they now have to be in so many places at once. But maybe little bits are still there with you?
I don't know. There's really no way to say it more beautiful or raw than how you already said it here, so thank you for that real, raw beauty <3 I'm glad he came back for a little while. <3
Thankyou. I feel his absence more than anything - it's such a raw pain I try not to let take over. Even if I start to cry I check myself as there's no point to it, you know? And don't tell me I SHOULD cry or it's helpful as I really don't feel it is. But in those dreams, he was as close to me as I've felt in ages. It was such a a beautiful, happy thing! And as I wrote, I saw him properly, instead of bits and pieces in my memory. It's like my mind can't settle on which version of him it wants or needs to remember. It's sooo frustrating, like trying to make a castle of water. So I'm really grateful to my dream life in gifting me these precious moments that feel so very, very real. Like a time machine, in all directions. Thankyou x
Thank fuck for dreams.
Nah, I wasn't going to. I don't know that it's good or helpful to cry. I think for some people, it might be, but it's also a slippery slope that can keep you mired in sorrow and grief for longer than you need to be (obviously, there's always a sense of grief, but I do think crying can slow down the process of making sense of life after loss).
I agree. I don't like to wallow. People tell you it's okay to cry etc and it's healthy but I'm not sure that's true or good for me. It's more of a slippery slope, and grief should be just one aspect of my life not all of it.