Thanks Sam. Knowing you have also suffered the loss of your Mum, I appreciate the advice. Time seems to be the one. The first weeks hurt like fuck fuck. It's easing now. I couldn't get the songs from the service out of my head and I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was awful. Now it's eAsier, I'm just depressed.
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All very normal. All very human. Only people who have never lost someone close think there is a time limit on grief. There isn't. I realised that it's not something you ever get over, but you do somehow at some point get through it. There comes a moment when the memories once again bring joy to the heart and supplant the heartache and pain that had taken up residence. But don't let anyone else try to shape the narrative or press you to heal any sooner than you are ready to... I'm so sorry you are going through this, my lovely 😔
ps: I forgot to mention but I'm so glad you had your son by your side. What a gem of a man you raised.