I grew up in a home where there is specific tasks for specific genders. You will never find my brothers in the kitchen to assist in preparing our family meals or washing dishes, neither will you see them sweeping or cleaning the house. The only time you will see them in the kitchen is when they are very hungry and wants to eat. But go to the village square field, you will find them playing football while my sisters and I, will be sweating in the kitchen, cooking food meant for everyone at home to eat. Sometimes, if we are making swallows; a kind of food that requires pounding, we will need to beg these boys to come do the pounding.
As a child, I started feeling bad about my gender when it got to some point where home chores looks so overwhelming. I wish to be a boy so I can be relieved of unending chores at home. I remember asking my dad why the boys don't do much work like we girls do at home, and his response was weird and annoying; he was just a typical African parent.
We are a family of six siblings—three boys and three girls. If things should be done rightly, the girls aren't supposed to be overwhelmed with chores because chores would have been shared equally and it would be easier for everyone, but no, there's boys chores and girls chores well practiced in my house. Even during farming season, my dad will make sure that everyone participates. Farming is considered a boy's chore, but still, my dad will instruct us girls to assist in different ways, but when it comes to home chores, the boys are always excluded as if they are the kings and we girls are slaves.
Gender roles are commonly practiced in most African families, but I think that nowadays the practice is relatively low, perhaps due to civilization and people becoming more aware that any gender can do and achieve anything they want. This gender role or discrimination is not limited to house chores but cuts across cultural practices. For example, in my community, no girl child is entitled to land assets for the family, only male children are, and there are many other weird beliefs about people and their practices.
When I was 7 years old, I left my father's house to live with my grandmother, and over there, I discovered that my grandma doesn't observe any rubbish gender roles. As big as her children were, adults with wives and some about to get married, she trained all of them to eat and wash their plates immediately, cook all varieties of food, and do all house chores; no one was an exception. Wow, I fell in love with her lifestyle. I just love the fact that she understands the right thing to do for growing children, regardless of their gender. And, of course, I learned a lot from her.
I remember what my twin brother faced during his tertiary days at the university. Because he lacked the ability to cook, it was a harsh experience for him, as my parents didn't always have much money to give him. He tried cooking but always ended up messing with the food to the point that no human being could eat it. At the end of the day, I had to always put him through it over the phone for every meal he wanted to prepare. Now that he is married, he has been in a situation where the wife is sick and he is left to attend to house chores, including cooking. Gladly, he has been learning them all by force in order to support his home.
I have seen male children owning big eateries, and I believe that they learned the basics from their homes. They didn't allow what society says about gender roles to stop them from making money through cooking or even cleaning.
Now that I am a parent, I am blessed with three male children, and I am already training them not to believe in or share such gender roles mentality. At this early age, they have started doing little chores, including assisting Mummy in the kitchen. We can all achieve anything we want, regardless of our gender.
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This is really well written. it is important to break down these stereotypes and create a more equitable and just world for everyone. I'm inspired by your work, and I hope yo continues to share your experiences and insights.
Well said my dear... thanks for your warm visit and for your kind words
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Gender discrimination is very common in my country also. Although I can cook but cooking task mostly done by my sister as it's her responsibility. After my mom became sick, we brother try to help her by washing clothes, cleaning washroom and some other task. Indeed, gender discrimination occurrs but ladies always highlights their sufferings only. I agree with it but I don't understand why ladies think that the life of a male is smooth. It's kind of the contributions and sufferings of a male is ignoring by the people and society. I am thinking to l start awareness about it.
Haha 😆😆😂, you think we do? Life of a male isn't so smooth per SE due to many responsibilities facing a man but that doesn't justify relaxing at home and feeling that ladies are slaves 😌😌
Their responsibilities is their personal challenge of life
When it comes to home chores, everyone should face it squarely
Haha, please begin the awareness already..I will definitely express my viewpoint
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Ladies are not slaves and gentlemen is not a money machine. We need to come out from the thoughts. I believe that in household work husband should help wife and at the same time wife should make her contribution financially. Responsibility should be equal equal. Unfortunately I don't see any hope in case of a equality but it will be possible in the future if robot will do all household work. That will be the time to see the real man verses women fight 😅. I just hope to see it.!LOL
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This fight against men and women, lolz
I am patiently waiting for your awareness on this..it will be more better and we can all provide constructive criticism
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Growing up I had the same experience as you when it comes to gender roles, in our house, it is forbidden for the males to touch the broom not to talk of using it to sweep.
But I told myself, that ends with them, I will never buy into that idea or promote it in my home.
Like seriously 😳
Some of our African parents didn't try at all
But we are here to change the narrative
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Well said!! :-)
Thank you Momo
NICE POST
Prav leave me oo 😌😌😃
NEVA!! 😁
Wow! You are a twin? Interesting 😃
You are doing well with your boys my dear. We need to right the wrong of our parents.
Yesoo 😃
This era is re-writing the wrong
🤝
Wow, seems your parents and mine planned it because that's our number too, hehehehe. Unlike your family where the girls were left to do all the chores, mine, everyone learnt how to do every single chore in the house. I can't remember hearing this chore is for a boy or a girl, you must do all. All my brothers know how to take care of the home. Infact my elder brother started out as a chef before he switched business.
Every child should be trained in knowing how to take care of the home because one day, they will leave home to start a new life and if they aren't grounded in the affairs of the home, adjusting may not be so easy.
Came through #dreemport
That's the way to go... every experience matters..no one knows how the experience can be of great help in the future....the gender that palava shouldn't be encouraged at all
Well, the only difference in my home is that both the ladies and guys could do any house chores, but you see having an asset like land? Ladies aren't entitled to it and I feel so bad about it. Well, it's good that you're training your boys to do any house chores, I consider those shores as life skills and shouldn't be gender-based.
Popped in from Dreemport, always an awesome #dreemerforlife.
The land assets, only the Yoruba tribe are the people I see that value their women in that
Indeed, there shouldn't be gender based on chores
Let's keep breaking the norms. Those moments when boys would be exempted from chores are just heart-wrenching. Like you make a child a king already just because of his gender? C’mon, he needs to earn it.
I'm glad you are doing right by your boys.
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That was a crazy practice by my parents but we are changing narratives now