That toilet paper really looks like it is on some cow manure. Did someone wipe a cow's butt? And what did that welcome mat originally say, I wonder. I suck at word puzzles. It would be pretty exciting if you could get some sort of flash image in your head of the last time all those pieces of trash were touched by their former owner. I have an image of a hunter with a bloody knife in one hand from recently cleaning a kill, while hungrily biting into that bratwurst with his clean hand and the bite breaking off with a crispy sort of snap sound. And then there is the guy with the snuff, spitting a wad from his cheek into the grass and then scratching his butt. Oh yuck, I'm so glad this isn't a thing - I'm already grossed out for you.
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Thanks for the lovely imagery. I try not to think too much about the people I clean up after, for reasons you've so vividly touched upon :D
!PIZZA
I generally try to think a lot about such people. Should probably stop that.
Don't stop. People like me need people like you to think about people like them for us :)
Oh good, I can return all those self-help books to the library now:)