Honestly, I think it's more about going by feel. Figuring out how much yin energy is in you naturally, and embracing that. I don't know if you can grow it, to be honest. But I think, basically, it's saying to yourself 'okay so maybe I'm not X ideal of femininity, but that doesn't make me any less of a beautiful woman and soul'.
I am not aware what aura cleansing entails? What is that? :)
well you are right, nothing should be made forcefully. Aura cleaning is meditation to ward off negative vibes of ur field.