Sunday the hubs and I got to go on a fantastic outing with some dear friends. As we were gone from morning til night, I should have known that something awesome was going to greet us when we got home. It's like Murphy's Farm Law. An example of this is when I left on a two month long road trip one year, while stuck in rush hour traffic in Las Vegas, my horse decided to get out back home. Like the second day we were gone. It is inevitable.
That said, the kids fed everybody on Sunday, so I wasn't worried. They aren't as OCD as I am when feeding, but they are competent at the task, so I wasn't too worried about a moopacolypse.
I should have known better.
The following morning, I was up early, leading my contingent of cats and dogs around from feeding chore to feeding chore, when I looked at the lean to over the barn door.
Well, that's not Christian, I murmured.
Somehow, probably with their very beefy flintlocks, my three bovines in the barnyard had knocked the lean-to post off of its block. Let it be known that the lean-to has stood there, proudly, for almost twenty years and made it through the worst winter in recorded history round these parts.
It just couldn't take the moos.
Moving on into the barn (I went through the back door), I came across another cow-tastrophy, well, a steer massacre more like it. One of the main uprights in Pumpkin, my daughter's show steer's, pen was angled nicely as well. That was a little bit more scary as it was a beam joining, load bearing section. Ugh.
So Monday my poor hubs had to get out the tractor, load the bucket with tools and salvaged lumber, and repair the cow wear. Things like this always happen at the most inopportune time, as there is no school this week but still sports practice and about a million other things, so I had to spend most of the morning and part of the afternoon on the road shuttling heathens and stuff.
The thing about my husband though, is that he is the most amazing improvising creature ever! I know a lot of it came from being in the Army as a career. They had to make do and figure things out on the fly with limited equipment a lot of the time, and boy has that knowledge and gumption come in handy on the homestead.
The cattletastrophe got me to thinking about the art of keeping cattle. If you were to go to my grandma's house and grab a photo album from out of her cupboard, you would find pictures of kid me with a baby Hereford calf in my lap. I've been around cattle most of my life, my papa ran a 100 head of them. They are wonderful.
They are also destructive, hard-headed, and not for neophyte homesteaders. Now, I don't believe in being a gatekeeper to anything, I think anyone can learn to do most anything, but you have got to put the work in. And when it comes to cattle, learning to handle large livestock is a skill that must be cultivated.
I have a glorious anecdote to illustrate this sentiment. My most excellent neighbor buys raw milk from a local small dairy. Her friend was buying it too, and decided she wanted her own milk cow. The lady, without any livestock experience under her belt, went out and paid 5K for a fresh, registered Jersey milk cow. AHHHHH!
Next week she was in a walking cast because the cow had fractured her foot during the first milking.
She ended up selling the cow not long after because she couldn't handle it. Most people make the mistake of staying too far away from cattle when they are handling them because they are scared. It's okay to respect an animal, especially a large one, and I do, but you have got to get up close with animals or you are going to get hurt. Heck, you are going to get hurt anyway, but it's easier to mitigate cow hurt if you can grab their head and twist up their nose.
A good example of bovine handling came when my daughter got her first show steer. It sat in the field all winter, eating a ton, and not being worked because she was only about ten and a bit scared of it. Guess who got to gentle the dang thing in March? This Kat! The hubs roped it and held on while I slid in and locked my arm around Uno's head and nose. He and I did a bulldogging show around the paddock for a bit until I had enough and tipped his nose to the sky, he flopped over like a beached whale, all 800 pounds of him. After that he was still a bit of a butt, but he respected me and treated me as the lead cow.
Cause that's the thing, you don't have to be mean to animals, ever, but you better be the lead animal and not afraid to flex on them a bit. This morning while walking out of the barnyard, my dominant heifer, Chloe was feeling frisky and came bouncing up behind me like she was going to headbutt me, I turned around and stuck my hand in her forehand and said, NO. She stopped and mooed meekly. You have to have their respect and trust, while also respecting them. It's a partnership as old as herdsmanship.
So no, gatekeeping is not what I am advocating here, more like interning and working your way up. When I moved on the farm, I hadn't worked anything but horses for a long time, and I was poor. Cattle are expensive, so I started with goats, chickens, and hogs. After many years, I started getting bottle calves.
(Side note: Bottle calves are not for neophytes either! Find a mentor, lots of literature/forums, and be prepared for death, they are fragile!! Thankfully I have never lost one, but I have spent 48 hours in the barn syringe feeding/tube feeding the scouring little moos, not fun!)
Before long I had a nice little herd started, I even split the cost of a magnificent chonk of show heifer with my daughter and am slowly building my breeding program. Why? Because I love cows, always have, always will. It's in my blood.
But dang, I wish they'd take it a little easier on my barn!
So, in closing, the moral of this little missive is, don't be afraid to start at the beginning. Part of growth is making mistakes, trying new things, and learning from others (especially from the animals themselves). I just hate seeing animals hurt and neglected and people hurt and jaded because of our dopamine-addled society and its instant gratification, oh I saw that on tv, I've got lots cash or credit mentality. If you give it the time and respect needed, keeping livestock is one of the most rewarding things ever. That and you will get really good at throwing buckets in frustration when your bovines go on a bender and try to destroy your barn just because you went out and had fun for one stinking day!
Old farmer's wisdom has it that your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. Of course, in my case, it would be "deer-high, weasel-tight, and bear-strong," all things considered.
Wild or "domestic," animals certainly love to cause trouble, don't they?
Do they ever!
I sat and daydreamed into space about a deer, weasel, bear proof fence for a bit. To behold such a thing would be just glorious, lol, thanks for that:)
Beautiful post, thanks for that. I just started working at a beef farm recently raising wagyu beef. It's been odd working with the cows while maintaining distance, so I'm gonna try and get personal.
I'll send pics of the bruises.
Oh I so love wagyu! One of my goals is to cross my club calves with wagyu in order to get some of that glorious marbling, I had some Snake River Farms Angus/Wagyu beef a couple weeks ago and I still slightly drool when I think about it...
Can't wait to see those war wounds, er, bruises, lol lol!
On a less amused more curious note, how are you liking your new beef adventure?
So far I'm loving it. Walking around drooling cause them things have some BRISKETS on em. I'm learning a lot and working with people I like doing agricultural things, so I'm happy. I'm looking for a job at an orchard as well because I dig trees. They don't kick as hard.
It's all part of the process of a career change for me. I work in a factory where I've been for seven years. I've been studying permaculture for about five years and doing some suburban homesteading for three, so it's part of a natural progression that I'm hoping ends with me being a farmer when I grow up.
Those are some lovely moos right there, brisket for days lol!
Wagyu, orchard keeping, and permaculture? That's music to my sustainable living ears right there! I've been building our orchard over the years, last year I was gifted some ducks and retrofitted the orchard into their pen, they have rocked in the pest control, grass mowing, and fertilization areas. I love it when things all work together:) What kind of orchard are you interested in putting in/running/managing?
It's so super cool that you are working your way through all the areas that you wish to learn about and eventually end up farming full time. I have no doubt you are going to crush that dream!
Lovely moos, but wagyu isn't sustainable at all. They're the Cornish cross of cows. Super inbred, centralized supply, and heavily dependent on industrial grain agriculture. But it's fun as heck and I'm still learning a lot!
Right now I'd settle for working at any orchard with trees. When I grow up, it'll be peaches, pecans, blackberries, and rabbits. I actually might go check with my nursery owner lady down the street, she might know a thing or two where to look. Heck, she might even need a part time hand at the nursery learning things and watering things.
Have you read Michael Phillips's book The Holistic Orchard? Dude's got some things figured out.
Okay, you win the Internet with that one, I almost snortled my coffee out lol!
Hopefully they aren't like a pack of raptors at feeding time, boy do I ever have Cornish Cross stories.
And it's so cool that you are just doing the learning thing, that is my favorite part about homesteading, it's like discovery overload. One of my favorite things every was taking a journeyman beekeeping course from WSU while pregnant, I looked super awesome hiving bees 9 days before my daughter was born, like an oompa loompa honestly, but it's the learning part right? 🤣
Also, I love pecans, they are just magnificent, they are also a no go for us here up in the northlands, so I am super stoked for you to grow up and get the pecans, peaches, and blackberries.
Rabbits are super fun too, had those for quite a few years, productive and tasty.
And I hadn't thought about Phillip's book in years, you inspired me to reorder it for a re-read because I do remember it being rather excellent. Dude so has some things figured out! This year I put in hops and my friend has a 100 year old apple tree of a variety that I am still trying to identify and I want to learn how to properly graft some onto my own trees/rootstock.
There's always a project huh lol!
They're like Cornish in that they're completely dependent on unsustainable grain agriculture. Unlike chickens, they have very low feed impulse. IDK how I'd like one on a small farm really. The ones that are crossed with Angus do a lot better and act like they want to eat.
On my half acre now, I have six peaches, 5ish pecans, and half a gob of blackberries (so far), but there's still more to do. I'm basically using this space to practice, learn, and refine some techniques.
The rabbits are a mainstay here. The only thing I've been able to make any kind of money on. I actually have rabbits because I found out how retarded Cornish cross chickens were. Picky, centralized, unable to feed from the homestead, and rabbits are the exact opposite. And they're so stinking TASTY. And that's to say nothing of their superpower: poop. We love rabbit poop.
What's WSU? I just sat in on a crazy basic beekeeping seminar this weekend at the homestead fair at Heritage Homestead in Waco. Bees would be a really cool complimentary venture with any plant operation. Which means I'll have bees at my orchard/farm when I grow up. I decided not to do them here though, I'd want to give them more space than I have.
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Well, you know, when the itch strikes....
Fortunately our barn was built very sturdy and the cows never did damage to it. The pigs however...
LOL! There's so many trees they could have itched on dang it!
Aside from normal wear and tear, we never had any damage until the pig incident I mentioned above, and then after that I swear it was like they all decided to make up for lost time...brats....
Wasn't that barn a leftover structure from the meth head former owner though? It's been through a lot. And now moo crew demolitions is on the job.
It was built by the meth head's father-in-law as a pig barn and rather solidly constructed, but after neglect from the special meth creature and 20 years of our creatures inhabiting it, yes, it's been through a lot. The pigs really did a number on it two years ago. We are still in the process of repairing that damage.
Jeez, what did the pig do?
While we were at the state fair, the pigs decided to rip the entire south wall off of the barn, including removing all the insulation. The weird thing is I've had pigs in that pen almost every year for almost 20 years and never did any of them go on such a spree of destruction.
I think the thing that burned me most, was that they had automatic waterers and on demand feeders that were perpetually full of feed. The darn creatures just decided to go full wild I guess, lol!
Damn, sounds like they were either bored or missed you
Probably a bit of both lol!
It always amazes me that your diminutive form is able to handle those beasts so easily. I have long thought of a single beef to raise, not for milk but meat, but I have little desire to fortify the fenceline like would be required. It was hard enough to keep the goats in, at least the sheep don't test the fences the same.
Well my friend, I think part of the problem is I have no self-preservation instinct when it comes to livestock. My mom would often find me in the middle of a herd of horses or down amongst the cows, lol!
Goats are ridiculous when it comes to keeping them in. If I were ever to have goats again it would be in an open range in the scrub brush sort of scenario lol, just me, the herd, and a couple of LGD's. This is gonna crack you up, but my cows are kept in by 1 strand of hot wire. That said, I have had some athletic, pain in the butt ones that have been culled out of the herd. Every one that I have now is slow, chunky, good-natured, and super easy going. They don't test the fences and if they did/do get out, they would go to my dining room window and bawl at me.
We had katahdin hair sheep at one time, I enjoyed them a lot:) For some reason I can totally see you getting a steer at some point😊
I grew up with a pair of miniature donkeys, a standard and a mix, and they were a fun handful. I've run through all the smaller livestock but actually having a steer has been one of those fantastical types of thoughts. I'd love one as cows are pretty cool, it would just have to be a mellow one that wouldn't end up out on the higway charging at the on coming traffic. Or end up wandering through Chattaroy, there is a herd across the river he would likely try to find if he did.
Ahh, I love donks! They are way smarter than me though, so I have never owned one lol!
Eeee, you definitely don't want one of those athletic cows! A nice, slow, docile bovine that abhors getting its heart rate up seems about right. I did laugh and snortle a bit when I thought about you chasing an escaped beef through Chattaroy, that would be legend🤣
My grandparents had a herd of them, all standards and they were hilarious. One hell of a cacophony when they were all baying for food.
I don't relish the thoughts of trying to steer a steer across the 4 lanes of highway, LOL!
Just chiming in here. That. Sounds. Delicious.
🤣
"And as not most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's husband's probably smells like cow patties and molasses iPhone." HILARIOUS!!! Although the only funny part of your post. Our bovines also go on the bender. But usually on anything water related. Irrigation. Taps. Water troughs. TRASHED. My husband is constantly throwing all sorts of floral wording in their direction that includes culinary descriptions of fillet and roasts and stews....
Ah, a common affliction among those who care for livestock🤣
Also, I almost spit out my tea, thanks for that lol lol!
Only other homesteaders would relate. Love them but occasionally want to love them into a freezer. Yesterday when we went to fetch my goats I saw the four cows (one is a real COW) tossing what looked like a sheep. I was hysterical, screaming at them but they were two fields away and happily playing. Long story short and many stern warnings from my husband to be careful, it was a white ibis. Who knows how the silly bird got himself between those thundering hooves and tossing horns. But he survived. And I only left when he was safely sauntering off in the neighbours field.
Holy bird hand grenade! I am glad the ibis lived! Isn't it crazy some of the situations animals get themselves in? My grandpa used to have some very ornery cattle, me, I have the very pokey, sedate kind who only move fast for food, lol!
I'm glad you were there to referee😊
So fast food of a different variety!!!! Hahaha
Wow, those destructive critters really went on a rampage while you were gone. I grew up with sheep and goats, so cows and horses always have seemed too big. My dad claimed there was always one sheep or goat with nothing better to do than roam along the fence looking for a way to get out.
Your dad had the wisdom. I swear all those creatures do is look for mischief. There were times my goats had acres and acres of lush pasture and foliage, only to spend their time getting out and bouncing on my tractor hood or something. Perpetual toddlers they are lol!
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