Excerpts From My Struggles

josediccus (81)honorary memberin ecoTrain • 2 years ago

I've been struggling of late, financially and health-wise too, financially in the sense that I've spent so much money attending to familial needs and in the process of doing this, I've not had enough time to fully prepare for the bear market. I was supposed to go into a business partnership with a friend this year, but he's got his issues to handle and hence we couldn't kickstart that business. We're in a waiting period, but then, along the line, I've spent the money on needs that sufficed as emergencies. I've planned to go to the hospital for a while now, but my medical condition is just to stay stress-free and take my medicine, but for two weeks I haven't done that. I booked an appointment with my aunt, to see the doctor, but I'm majorly scared of the rigorous process of getting medical help, so all I did was procrastinate.

Even in the midst of all these, I've been trying to move to a house of my own after staying with my aunt for over 10 years evening as I was shuffling to get a diploma over the years. This became important to me because I felt I needed to kickstart my life, I've discovered that living with one's extended family makes them Financially irresponsible. This is because needs are endless. In most Nigerian homes financial dependence isn't about who has money, it's about depending on that person who can afford a nice cloth. This was primarily the reason why I felt I needed to find a place and stay on my own. This hasn't come without a repercussion. I and a friend have been hoping to get a two-bedroom apartment for two weeks, but everything has been futile and we've had to move from one location to another.

This has made both of us very sick. Mine is fair, but it's been prolonged and I've been managing it for over 6 weeks. Some days ago, a friend @kbanti saw one of my videos on my WhatsApp, and of course, even while I was trying to be smooth and all that, he's noticed I was sick, even when I could post and be here, it was visually evident that I was ill. I'm not one to talk about my issues in life and this is because of my desire to create the illusion that I'm afloat, even when I'm drowning.

The positive side to this is that sometimes, the illusion I create becomes my reality, especially if I keep very long at it. I have very few good people in life, and I'm lucky to have them. My life has been a mess and sometimes I feel it's a burden to try and lay it on people, sometimes I feel it's too complicated for them to process. The times I've tried, I just end up losing people, it's not rocket science to understand that sometimes we lose people in life because they can't seem to comprehend the advantage of having you in their life when the good times are fewer than the bad times.

Opppsss enough of this meandering

......Long story short. We've not been able to secure an apartment because they're either too expensive or not good enough. The ones that are affordable and good enough have massive competition and every time we try to secure a place, we're met with "oh someone just paid for the property five minutes ago" Lagos Nigeria is the most competitive place in Africa, you have to be financially, mentally and physically equipped to swim the ocean of competitiveness. I felt I overestimated my capacity in any of these three conditions and I've been met with a massive hit to my health and here I am struggling again.

I like to appreciate @kbanti, man saved me some days ago. It wasn't in the saving, it was how timely it came from a fellow friend who's been struggling too. When my health improves, I'll get back into looking for a house. This time, I hope to take the maximum time to reflect on what I want to do with my life, do I want to keep living and not knowing when else I'll fall sick, in my quest to go through the stress of life to put food on the table and live comfortably. For now, I would make all efforts to go to the government hospital after I secure a place. That's going to be stressful because the competition to get healthcare from the government hospitals in Lagos is crazy, but I hope in two or three months from now, I can gladly return to talk about how I've conquered.

#life #leofinance #proofofbrain #palnet #neoxian #archon #reflections

2 years ago in ecoTrain by josediccus (81)honorary member

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evernoticethat (69) 2 years ago

Sounds like you're the responsible member of the family supporting other people just as I am here on the other side of the pond.

I think sometimes we need to take stock of where things stand and create space to take care of ourselves for a change. It's tough to do so when people rely on you for the necessities of life when no one else in the family will pitch in and help.

I share your struggle in the financial and responsibility department although my health is fine. I'd be much better if there were others here willing to share the care for my terminal relative, but its me or nobody, and I'm not going to leave an elder to suffer alone. It's not my way.

So we shoulder the responsibility and make the correct moral choices knowing that somebody "up there" knows what we're doing and is taking note of it. I'm glad to see that you plan to look after your health because the one thing we have a limited amount of in life is time.

So set aside some and take time for you. Peace.

Excerpts From My Struggles

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