Hi dear ❤️ thats 3 days old, I am late here and hope youre doing okay with your thoughts and emotions? So sorry you had and have to go through this.
Out of my own recent challenge I came to the topic of "radical forgiveness" and reading your lines reminded me once again to care for.
Its not about speaking someone free from guilt. Not at all. Its only about free yourself and find your peace within.
Also she still is alive, so I think its strange that your siblings already are pushing you to go to the funeral?
Whatever decision you choose, follow your heart, love and care for yourself.
Dont know if its helpful what I write, at least I hope so. Feel hugged !HUG !LUV
I'm fine now. I've rarely thought about her for many many years, except when topics like childhood memories come up, and now I don't have to ever again. Maybe I'm a horrible person for saying so, but it's a relief that she'll be as dead IRL as she's been to me for most of my life.
After chatting briefly with my youngest sister, I found that none of the others really want to go to the funeral either, and she knew I certainly wouldn't, but thought the polite thing to do was to ask me anyway.
Forgiveness... yes. I do forgive people, I don't like being angry and bitter. And I do ask forgiveness, and try to repair things when I've hurt someone. She never did. She just wanted others to pretend she never hurt them, pretend that she was a wonderful person, and shore up her self-image. And that I cannot do.
!HUG
I sent 1.0 HUG
(4/300)Dear @beeber, you just got hugged. on behalf of @treefrognada.
I sent 1.0 HUG
(4/300)Dear @treefrognada, you just got hugged. on behalf of @beeber.