I'm fine now. I've rarely thought about her for many many years, except when topics like childhood memories come up, and now I don't have to ever again. Maybe I'm a horrible person for saying so, but it's a relief that she'll be as dead IRL as she's been to me for most of my life.
After chatting briefly with my youngest sister, I found that none of the others really want to go to the funeral either, and she knew I certainly wouldn't, but thought the polite thing to do was to ask me anyway.
Forgiveness... yes. I do forgive people, I don't like being angry and bitter. And I do ask forgiveness, and try to repair things when I've hurt someone. She never did. She just wanted others to pretend she never hurt them, pretend that she was a wonderful person, and shore up her self-image. And that I cannot do.
!HUG
I sent 1.0 HUG
(4/300)Dear @beeber, you just got hugged. on behalf of @treefrognada.