I know that feeling of comparing others, I have been in that shoes and all I can say is that it is draining and depressing.
We all just want to be living our best life at some point and when that is not happening like it is with people and how we expected it, we begin to have questions and doubt our effort putting ourselves under a lot of pressure.
It took me a while to snap out of that and I am glad you saw the need to let go of that aspect of your life as it isn't a healthy one.
I hope and pray that this year brings you the best of life and that your wish for life comes to reality.
Thank you very much for your good wishes. Totally, even now I still have moments I can't help but think I'm way behind, but it takes time to get rid of bad habits