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RE: As Strong Woman

in Ladies of Hive5 months ago

I can't speak from a feminine point of view, but I don't want to be around "bad bitch" women who conflate rude behavior with strength any more than I want to hang out with men like that. I also see women on social media who act as if the sole defining attribute of femininity is looking pretty and getting attention as if that's power and strength. Not so.

Independence is poorly understood in most contexts. "No man is an island," people say, as if rejecting authoritarian political impositions is the same as rejecting social interaction and exchange. In a similar respect, many women seem to believe "independence" can only mean proving men are unnecessary, but proving it to whom?

Some of the strongest women I know have found true partnerships, not because they are weak and need to be led, but because they found someone who resonates, someone they empower and who empowers them in turn. Others discovered independence is better than abusive relationships, and had to strike out alone after making mistakes in choosing a bad partner. Hard lessons learned, but they had the courage and virtue to change course.

I think the strong woman seeks virtue, and has the courage to embrace the right partnerships when opportunity arises not because she needs a man to be complete, but because the right man enhances her strengths. She has skill and knowledge to act alone, not because she doesn't need a man, but so she doesn't feel like she needs to settle for the wrong man.

I have a family member who chased a lot of the wrong men. She got heartbreak and a daughter and hard-earned experience. Her life isn't easy, but she has the character to do what she can under the circumstances she has. Fortunately she has family. A lot of women in her situation are very alone. And even the strongest can crumple under the burdens they face. That isn't weakness or frailty, it's the bitter truth that life can be hard. And we all face the myth that strength never falters. But even the strongest need a break.

So not only am I not sure I've clarified what a strong woman is, I'm not even sure I've helped matters with my 2 AM ramble. But strong women and men are defined by what is within then first. What they do and with whom they associate flows from that. Society sends us mixed signals. Even the strongest falter and need support from friends and family. Maybe something coherent emerged. I need to log off and try to sleep.

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In a similar respect, many women seem to believe "independence" can only mean proving men are unnecessary, but proving it to whom?

I wonder that, too. It's a good general rule that as long as you're fighting to prove your point is "right", you don't really believe it. Otherwise, why keep proving it?

And we all face the myth that strength never falters. But even the strongest need a break.

I love that. As a woman, it resonates a lot. I think there's so much pressure on both sides not to show weakness that we've built prisons for ourselves that we refuse to open. Wouldn't be so bad maybe if we had a better definition of "strong". Yeah, I think you did a pretty good job. I like your definition of a strong woman (or human, really) :)

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