Post Partum, I've been hearing about this word from someone who gave birth. Read a lot of stories on how they suffered, overcame and others who fell from depression gave up. When I was pregnant, I was pretty much sure I won't be having any issues with regards to this. Well I am a strong independent woman as I believe I am. Yet Definitely I am wrong.
These past weeks, I seldom write a blog as most of the time I am exhausted. My baby was awake in the wee hours so I am always sleep deprived. Free time during the day, I chose to rest as I felt like I'm passing out due to extreme tiredness.
Am I okay? Did I overcome postpartum?
As I shared previously, I delivered my baby unexpectedly via caesarian last June 13 and sadly he was under medication as he had poop already inside my tummy. This results to a five long days of struggle coming back and forth at the hospital for his antibiotics. Just think of it, I was supposed to stay on the bed like a princess yet it didn't happened. I had to get up for the sake of my baby's welfare.
When it was done, it felt like a heavy load was finally lifted upon my shoulder. Finally, I had more time to rest and recovered at home. However, a week later, I rush him to the hospital. He was only two weeks old.
That was the scariest day of my life and one the memory I badly wanted to bury in the past. It was something not worth remembering. If someone had read that blog, I mentioned that I was still waiting for the results of blood culture to determine the cause of dehydration. Thus during the follow up check up to his pediatrician a week after we got discharges I got a good and the same time bad news. There was nothing wrong as per the results actually in all his laboratory test. More on it turns out the mere problem was feeding, he was underfeed. 😭 This made me question myself on how stupid I was, what kind of mother I am? I didn't even notice that I wasn't feeding my baby well. What if the worst thing happened? I probably spent the rest of my life regretting and blaming myself.
This was during the check up, happy that he gained back the weight he lost. Yet he was crying as he always wanted to hold.
Relieved I was as he was okay after the Doctor examined. Yet the next day, he got blister rashes all over his body. Though it didn't look worse, that made me take another trip to the hospital for a check up. 😰
Mrs. Nothing to worry, just apply lotion to his rashes. It will eventually heal., his Doctor says. So, I bought the lotion he prescribed.
Thankfully it works and he got a baby's skin again now. Yes, for the past two weeks he was fine and continued to grow. Yet, those happened in the past months sometimes lingers in my head. It makes me paranoid that I kept on checking everything. Not wanting to miss any red flag that concerns his health. Even his poop!
Not only that, but there are times I wanna curl up on the bed and shout, I wanna cry. I felt so drained, emotionally, physically and mentally. I never thought it would be this hard to take care of a newborn alone.
To be woken up in the wee hours by his loud cry, sometimes I wanna yell at him. Like can't you just shut up and give me peace for a while? He won't stop crying not until I pick him up and give him cuddles or milk.
Yet, staring at his innocent face sometimes giving me cute smiles was enough to bring me back into my senses. That is why I always made sure our room had enough light so I could always see him clearly. To see how small and fragile he is and how he sleep soundly in my arms. Finding comfort as he knows and trusts only one person. No other than me, his mother. Aside from that it was me who brought him to this world. Didn't I wait too long and prayed for years? So indeed he is my responsibility. Nope, don't get me wrong, I am far from complaining, just these emotions that I couldn't explain sometimes. Postpartum blues or maybe it was because of transition from being a career woman to a full time Mom.
My emotions might not be stable all the time, BUT one thing I am sure of is that I will get through it. I won't let this postpartum defeat me as if I will let that happen. What about my little boy? Who will take care of him? So, he is also my motivation to keep going, I know this phase wouldn't last. Everything will be better soon and the husband is going home this December. That is another to look forward and be thankful.
I know ladies could relate to me and if you have a friend who recently gave birth, please have some time to ask how they are. It doesn't mean you saw them happy as they posted in social media they are really are.
Lead image was edited using Canva
All photos are mine otherwise stated
Footer credit to Sensiblecast
I feel you, sis! I've been there twice, and yes, it's just a phase, and everything will pass. Just hang in there and always focus on the positive side; shrug off the negativity as quickly as possible. I remember deactivating my social media accounts because they made me feel like I was not a good mom. Protect your mental health and love yourself more, because you are a great momma!
Now I perfectly understand you why you know longer wanted to have another baby 🤣.
Nakakaloka pala siya talaga 😁
!PIZZA
Dumadalaw Lang Yan paminsan minsan😁. Kinukumusta Ka Rin siguro. Pero aalis din Kasi wla nmang permanent😬.
Eto Ang dalaw na ayaw ko 🤣
!PIZZA
The postpartum period is sometimes complicated, we have many concerns and doubts, we are attentive to the baby. At least when it is the first we feel insecure about what our body asks of us. But when you've had several, you no longer have time for anything new and everything seems normal to you. A hug
El post parto a veces es complicado tenemos muchas inquietudes y dudas, estamos pendientes del bebé. Por lo menos cuando es el primero nos sentimos inseguras sobre lo que nuestro cuerpo nos pide. Pero cuando has tenido varios ya no te queda tiempo para nada nuevo y todo te parece normal.
Ah, no more plan to have another baby 😁🤣. Feels like this was enough
Hang in there, dear Mama, I know it is hard, I have been there but it will be alright in the end.
Don't be too hard on yourself, take things slow, and try to enjoy all the little beautiful moments along the line.❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Thank you! I am slowly getting better!
❣️❣️❣️❣️
Oh, I can't begin to imagine how this must be feeling for you. Writing this post alone must have taken a toll on you. I hope you never forget how strong you are. Keep riding on, Mama. And all the best to that lovely one.🌺
Thanks, we are about to pass the newborn phase. I know things would be easier soon!
Oh dear Lhes, you are not the only or the last woman to experience that cocktail of postpartum emotions, the exhaustion at that stage affects us, together with the hormonal changes.
Plus we can't help but be overprotective of our baby, can we? they are so tender and fragile. And it's even harder because your husband is far away. The good news is that everything will soon pass and you and your son will have a routine. You will get used to resting while he naps instead of stressing about cleaning something in the house or whatever;) When he sleeps, it's your time, so take advantage of it no matter the time of the day. And you know what else, believe it or not, these first few months will go by fast, and in the blink of an eye he will be taking his first steps. So enjoy your baby.
A big hug for you 😘🤗💕
I am better now compared to last month as it feels hellish!
And yep, my sleeping routine was not supposed the sleeping hours but usually happened anytime of the day 🤣.
I was thankful since my sister's daughter went home, my in-laws stepped in. they would visit me to do household chores, like cooking and doing the laundry. So life was a little bit lighter 😁.
Just sometimes those emotions kick in, maybe something to do with 360 turns of lifestyle. Been a working lady for a decade, glam up everyday, now can't even comb my hair 🤣.
!PIZZA
$PIZZA slices delivered:
lhes tipped cindee08
@lhes(3/5) tipped @coquicoin
lhes tipped asiaymalay
!LADY
I can relate to you! Although it's been 36 years since my baby was a baby, lol! He tried to come into the world when he was only 6 months in-utero. By the grace of God, he did not deliver. Then, when it was time, I wouldn't go into labor and had to be induced. He was born and everything was fine-or so I thought!
Within 3 days of birth, he became jaundiced and was back in the hospital. It turns out that his blood type and mine were not compatible, and as long as I carried him, things were okay, but once delivered, things went haywire; hence the jaundice. It was kind of like a warped version of the Rh factor.
Anyway, from the hospital, he pick up Thrush (a mouth bacteria) and I was not able to nurse him because of his staying there. I practically lived at the hospital, but it was a difficult situation. Postpartum was my middle name! I was over emotional, felt like I had no support and depressed.
Hang in there! Things will improve as time goes by. I know what sleep deprivation is like as you can imagine, but they are so worth it! Take care, and don't forget to breathe now and again! !LADY🤗💜🌻
There will be good days and others not so good. @lhes This is your first time, be willing to consider advice from more experienced relatives, friends that are mothers and fathers. I regularly met with other new parents and a few became friends. I kept a regular feeding schedule that made things predictable after a while. Learning a few tricks from experienced mothers help.
❤️
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