It was many years ago, the question was why I don't have calm in the most difficult moments and why I feel so much fear. I think I asked myself the question about 15 years ago.
I found out that it was because of an ingrained programming from childhood that I overcame little by little.
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That's a good question to ask oneself and I'm glad you were able to find the answer and move on from it. Well done.
It is part of the internal process, questioning and analysing oneself. It is very good for growth.