I was recently asked to respond to a series of questions that were, in no uncertain terms, *invasive and intrusive upon my private life. There was (apparently) a valid reason for the questions and some I'd expected - and feel were valid and necessary - however I felt some were quite unnecessary and had crossed a line to some degree. Ultimately, I had little choice but to acquiesce although that didn't negate my feelings of annoyance.
It wasn't that the questions were difficult to answer, they were all about me after all, or that I felt the need or had the inclination to conceal or evade the truth in answer, I simply failed to see the relevance to the organisation in asking the questions and how they could possibly make any difference to the ongoing decision-situation. Nonetheless, they received the answers, open, forthright and honest and we all moved forward.
In reflection later, I thought about people as individuals and the questions we ask or, more importantly, do not ask of ourselves. And furthermore, the answers to those questions we find and accept, or not. I'm not sure what questions you might ask of yourself if any, but I'm constantly asking them of myself and I feel I deliver open and honest answers, even if it takes me a little time to do so on occasions.
Was I my best version as often as possible today - if I was not, when, why, how and what might I do to improve?
Have I taken the time to feel grateful for what I have in my life today?
Do I consistently evaluate myself, see my failures as opportunities and seek to find methods and motivation to mitigate them - if not then why not?
Am I wasting time and energy on unproductive or negative things and if so then why and what's the alternatives?
Have I taken ownership, had the correct thoughts and attitudes, shown responsibility and applied discipline?
Those are a few questions I've asked myself and, unfortunately, the answers have not always been to my liking, but they've been brutally honest.
I don't know why I was asked the questions I mentioned earlier but I know why I ask myself questions - with honesty - reflect and evaluate and determine better ways forward when the answers are forthcoming...I do it for self-improvement purposes, to continually lean forward into my life's development and progress. I can, hand-on-heart, honestly say that I have achieved measurable and increased success by asking questions of myself and finding candid answers. Sure, there's other elements involved, but I can't improve that which I'm not aware of so determining those things is the first step.
I believe it's the questions we do not ask of ourselves that can inhibit us the most.
Do you ever question yourself and if you do are those questions confronting?
I feel it's the difficult questions we ask of ourselves where the most benefit can be found. Do you seek honest answers from yourself? Why or why not? Have you had situations in which the answers you found helped you move forward into being a better version of yourself through an expanding paradigm, new directions, motivations, refreshed thought, energy or attitude? I know this has happened to me and I was able to turn what was a little confronting at first, the questions and answers, into a step - sometimes a leap - forward towards a better life.
Feel free to have a think about it and let me know in the comments below if you have any thoughts yoyu feel inclined to share, I'm interested and will respond.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
Self assessment by putting up question for yourself is good way to know where we are standing... apart from good or bad in life, sometime it gives a good dimension in life....and help us to move in correct path
I agree, it brings perspective and the resulting vision, thought and decisions can bring development and better outcomes; it just makes good sense right?
It is the need for everybody...but not everyone follows it...they just let the things like that...without accessing the situation..
Most people are probably too distracted by what's going on externally to spend much time looking inwardly; the sad thing of it it that if they looked internally and sought to be a better person, more grounded, a better attitude and decision-making process what happened externally (their results) would probably be much better.
On my path of self-knowledge I have asked myself questions, many and very difficult ones, when I repeated patterns and I didn't know where it came from, why I did it or why it happened to me.
I had to reflect deeply on mistakes in my life, mistakes in my personal life as well as in the simplest things of everyday life.
I was honest with myself and it was hard but it helped me a lot and when you become aware it's like changing a chip.... it's like saying... ahhhh this is why this is happening to me, I did this wrong, and when I realised it, things changed.
Of course always putting action on my part.
I don't like to be asked private questions, but I do ask them to myself, and sometimes I even make myself uncomfortable on purpose, in order to confront myself and move forward.
Thank you Galen.
I wonder what was the question you asked of yourself, and answered, that was the most influential and which caused the greatest change or benefit in your life?
It was many years ago, the question was why I don't have calm in the most difficult moments and why I feel so much fear. I think I asked myself the question about 15 years ago.
I found out that it was because of an ingrained programming from childhood that I overcame little by little.
That's a good question to ask oneself and I'm glad you were able to find the answer and move on from it. Well done.
It is part of the internal process, questioning and analysing oneself. It is very good for growth.
I've been betrayed and mistreated by someone I previously trusted and loved. It's very dreadful to uncover these kinds of deceptions. At times, I felt terribly upset and even depressed. However, living through these negative events could drain my energy and hinder my own growth. That's why I've decided to put myself first. I love myself first and foremost. I'm not going to trust easily, and I'm going to ignore any sweet talk that comes my way. I'll keep being on alert for red flags.
That's so sad to hear, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I understand your reluctance to trust easily but I hope you're able to find the right person/people to trust to some degree and that you find happiness.
Thank you for your understanding and kind words. It's tough, but I believe that with time and healing, it'll be possible for me to find the right person to trust again.
But for the time being, I prefer to be alone. I'm not looking at all. I guess I'm traumatized. Building trust takes time, and I'm still in building mode. 😜
I know how difficult it can be to find the ability to trust people once that trust has been broken. Like you say, there's no rush and you'll know when the time is right, and also when it is not.
This time I think I am best version of myself. But it doesn't mean that I will remain stick on this version. There are errors which I wanted to eliminate from my personality.
Secondly, I show gratitude towards each little small blessing in life.
Everyday I wanted to make my present day a better one in comparison to last one.
You have the right idea about wanting the next day to be better than the last...continual improvement is the way to go.
The unexamined life is not worth living, eh?
In Arnold Schwarzenegger's new book, he makes an interesting point. He claims that most people are scared to look themselves in the mirror, to make eye-contact with themselves, because they are disappointed with their choices in life and looking in our eyes makes us confront that uncomfortable fact, so many look away.
I agree with that. Most people don't ask any questions of themselves as you do, and they just wander through life with eyes closed, disappointed with how it's going but unable or unwilling to examine their decisions or guide their future actions with questions.
Most people will never truly gaze into their own eyes in a mirror I think they find it confronting, there's nowhere to hide...although for me I feel there's a lot to be found there. Like with the questions I mention and the honest answers...there's value in it.
Anyway, I'm gazing at bed now, after a super-tiring week, and the weekend is ahead so it's all good for me.
Have a great weekend.
You too. Have a great one!
I have an internal dialog that is happening pretty much every waking moment. It's filled with questions, doubts, observations, and all sorts of other things. That's too bad that something so random would be so personal.
There's reasons for the personal questions, and yes it was quite random indeed, but I guess the organisation have their reasons and considering the situation I was ok to comply; it was just weird.
Interesting. My wife just had a medical test done and they were asking her all kinds of weird questions. She started getting a little freaked out , but apparently the stuff they were asking about has actually happened.
I clearly don't want to say much about it here, but sometimes certain clearances are required and the greater the clearance-requirement the more probing the questions, and the more weird usually.
Medicals for jobs can be interesting, I've had a few and probing is the last thing I want. Lol.
Haha, I hear you. That makes sense about the questions. I totally understand your discretion.
Of course, I have asked myself questions, but questions are somehow philosophical, and the question is "What is after death?" in a way I consider it a philosophical question, this question for me refers to the nature of reality, the meaning of life and human existence, death is a philosophical question because it deals with the nature of consciousness and the survival of the personality after the death of the physical body or death in the whole sense.
But the answer to this question is left to the personal interpretation and belief of each person, equally I do not have the answer, as to what there is after death.
I get that, but I guess this post focuses more on what is in life, you're not dead after all and there'll be plenty of time to find out what comes after life when you are actually dead.
I wonder, if you ask yourself questions that help you discover areas of improvement that can help you live a better life, be a better parent, make better decisions?
Yes, of course I ask myself that kind of questions, but for some reason which I will not know how to answer, when I was reading and you were asking yourself questions, that question exploded in my brain, I repeat, I honestly do not know.
Now, good point, as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a neighbor, in short, with respect to any type of relationship, taking into account family relationships or friendships, many times I have asked myself, if I am doing well, and it helps me emotionally, asking that question to my daughters, to my wife, to my mother, and to the neighbors.
I've asked them, do you think I'm doing well?
Of course, that question is accompanied by a situation that warrants the question.
It's all good, the meaning of life question is something most people think about and mostly in respect of their own life.
I feel it's good to questions things and not blindly move in a particular direction...we questions the mortgage documents before signing them right? Why not question ourselves and our thoughts, attitudes and actions? I feel only good things can come from it, better understandings and then better thoughts, attitudes actions and outcomes.
This is, in my opinion, the deepest question here... A challenge, a least, for me.
If you asked yourself every morning for the last seven days what would your answer have been?
Probably not a positive one... I mean, I've always felt that I not quite happy and whole with myself.... It is, indeed, a deep question. That's why I felt engaged into it right away, friend. Loved this type of posting....
I figured that's what you'd say, but here's the good part, you know you have to ask the question (and others) and the benefit of doing so...you just need to make it happen. You know? Good luck, and thanks for your engagement.
I hope I could, mate! Thanks for the feedback and for the honest opinion. Best for you, lad.
Have I taken the time to feel grateful for what I have in my life today?
Among all the questions you asked above, this is the only question that i have a sure answer. And my answer is yes. I've been practing gratitude these past few days in my workplace. I havent said this to anyone but im saying it now: i am planning to resign this month. So as much as i can, i will savor the remaining moments i have with my officemates, who are also my close friends, by going out with them more often. I am just grateful that i met them even just in a short period of time. Thank you for your question ☺️
That's nice to hear, I can also say yes to that question on a daily basis, and I actually ask myself that on a daily basis. In fact, I start my day, every morning, thinking about and being grateful for what I have in my life - in fact, that I actually have a life also!
Resigning, that's big news so I understand why you wish to savour the moments with people you have become friends with. I wish you all the best for your impending resignation and your ongoing and successful future.
I asked myself all those questions since I was a teenager. I swear I was very undisciplined, indulgent and lazy at times. Also curious and truth-seeking, that has made the journey more fun and I feel satisfaction from what has been achieved in the conquest of being better.
I will write a post inspired by the question about gratitude...
🌅
It's cool to ask some questions and understand who you are and what you do (honestly) as those things that are working can be built upon and those things that are not working can be amended. Nice work!
A gratitude post inspired by this post I've written? Sounds like a good plan.
I charge myself for the simplest of things. Even if a decision feels "right" at the moment, I ask myself if it's right in the long run or not. If I've wasted time and could've used it to engage in something productive, then I'll have a little pep talk with myself.
I check myself again and again, that's what helps me "stay in line", and stay focused. It's easy to lose sight of things, but to stay focused? Now that's difficult.
There's not much to add here, you're well on track with this process and the more you do it the more focus you'll find, and the easier it'll be to maintain.
Hopefully so, man! I'm trying here, my efforts aren't perfect, but there's surely some damn progress that I'm making. And constant progression is all a person needs.
Perfection does not exist, it's a pipe-dream and nothing more, something people say that are seeking to attain but in reality somewhat of a delusion. Continual improvement is a better way forward, and a better measure day by day than the pursuit of perfection with often leads to disappointment.
Constant progression as you put it...that's where your gains will come.
YESS SIRRR 🤝
Benefit absolutely comes from the discomfort and struggle. If we're uncomfortable, I tell the students at school, maybe we're learning something. I love those self reflective questions - might chuck em on a post it note at work. Three weeks to go!
I received (through hard work, ownership, responsibility, persistence and persistence) my best results when I was in an uncomfortable state. Drum it into those students, they need it and will (someday if they actually follow your lead) will remember the person who helped instil it in them.
I hope so! I think kids get it pretty easy these days. I know they have their shit to deal with as well - it's not an easy world to grow up in - but a lot of them are also cushioned a bit too much. You HAVE to struggle to grow and learn. I repeat that idea like a mantra.
Kids: 'It's really hard!'
Me: 'Good! You're learning!'
Kids: 'I can't do it!'
Me: 'Yet! You can't do it YET! Of course yoou can't do it NOW - you're learning! STruggle is good! Keep up the good struggle!
and etc.
Copy that, loud and clear.
I think they sometimes forget that we were once kids and growing up was also difficult at times, maybe different reasons, but difficulties are difficulties.
Have you got Netflix? I ask because I just completed a post (for tomorrow) about a doco I think you may be interested in. Knowing you, you might already have seen it, or have some concepts around the situation. Just letting you know; Not asking you to read the post, but click the link to the doco if you want a good watch.
We are by nature self centered, and choose things we like all day. That's the inner child...and we never totally get rid of that. The single most important question to ask every day is: "Have I helped someone else today?" Helping someone else, especially f you don't know them; is the highest goal! Small acts of help, can make all the difference to someone at the end of their rope.
Sometimes, I have to answer no, but on a good day; I have reached more! We are trying to pass out under wear as it gets cold, that has been collected for months.
You never will know what grew from what you do...that question is always there, and sometimes I can answer it to my satisfaction!
👍💙🙏📖🙏💗🤠🤔
I understand the help others ethos and agree with it, however a focus needs to be put on oneself; if we are not right ourselves we're going to be little help to others, or so I believe.
Indeed. Just like small act of self-care can make all the difference to oneself, who may also be at the end of one's rope.
Balance is the way to go I think.
Agreed, I just know that it is human nature to do what we want ( our inner brat....), so I don't worry as much about that. I spent the afternoon at the gun range to make my inner brat happy (it worked, LOL) , but I also taught a Lady how to shoot her concealed carry pistol. The instruction she had been given didn't work for her, so I showed her a modified crush grip that allowed her to control! This allowed me to show her how to squeeze the trigger, and hit the target.
A friend was given a lump of rust that turned out to be a 36 calibre Colt Navy replica of a 1861 black powder pistol. I've been walking him through a recovery and repair cycle. Not perfect yet, but we were able to shoot it yesterday, he was thrilled!
It was fun for me, to watch them grow. So it does all round out in the long run. I got one of mine that was having trouble to get it to cycle properly...to cycle, and found my shoulder was finally up to a real recoil. My Son was able to join us after he got off work, and one of the other shooters came over to me and told me he was Good! Nice to hear.
Asking questions can be a nightmare for me right now, since I lost her in April! Did I do all I could? Those questions are dark and numerous, and can't be answered this side of sanity! My head knows I did it right, but my heart....
So external focus helps right now, so I'm buying SCUBA gear.
👍💙🙏📖🙏💗🤠🤔🤕
I understand what you're saying, but I guess I wasn't so much talking about doing what a person wants, but determining what actions one feels are the right ones in life, like helping others for instance. Maybe a question one may ask themselves is, "have I been of assistance to my fellow humans and made a difference to someone's life today?" Just an example. My point being that if a person doesn't delve into themselves a little it's difficult to see (as clearly) better ways forward.
I think you get it, we're maybe just saying it differently.
Likely the same ideas, we think a lot alike. Introspection is a door to the future! This has been a bad year here, hoping for better!
We're fighting to renew the lease on the food bank we use for the homeless meal. Just one more problem to solve.
👍💙🐾🤕🐾💗😳🤔👌
That's a bugger, but I'm sure you'll find a way to work around it and keep the process rolling.
Plan on it! We have to cook a dozen turkeys with all the fixings this time. Its the hardest homeless meal month! We will start shortly, and slice and freeze them; it will cut down on the work as we get closer to serving.
👍💙🙏📖🙏💗🤠🤔😋
Well, I don't know about others but these questions left a complete mark on me.
I stopped for a while and tried to configure after applying these questions to myself.
Specially that one about "Am I wasting my time and energy on unproductive or negative things..."
Well done mate. This will work for so many individuals who are reading this post.
That one you picked out is a huge one and if answered honestly and then if the answer inspires the right thoughts, attitudes and actions great forward motion can be made in the opposite direction...meaning positive outcomes.
I noticed also the phrase you have on your profile, "undergraduate in search of perfection."
Ok, I get it...but here's the thing...perfection doesn't exist and searching for it is a waste of energy and time; you're best to search for ways to find continual improvement...it's more rewarding, more often, and will carry you forward towards better results. Just a suggestion.
Yup, but if you want positive outcomes, a great critical thinking is required.
And you get that phrase very well mate. Actually when I search for perfection in something I continue to improve myself to achieve that perfection and since perfection doesn't exist but it benefits me in continuous improvement.
That's ok, keep looking for perfection then. Good luck.
Now I'm curious what those "invasive and intrusive upon my private life" questions were. Since an 'organization' was mentioned, I'm guessing this was a survey, or something work related, I'm mostly leaning towards the latter.
I always question myself, and most of the time I don't like the answer even though I agree with it. Sometimes it helped me move forward, but most of the times nothing happens. A lot of things in life are out of our control, which ends up affecting a lot of the questions I've asked.
I won't say the questions here as I'm not keen to disclose the details or why they were asked; privacy and all.
It's good to read that you question yourself, it's the best way to go I think. It's a shame you don't do much with the answers (mostly) so I wonder if you need to adjust the questions and what you do when the answers eventuate?
Yep for sure, so control the controllable things and let the rest happen as they will.
That's understandable.
I haven't considered adjusting the questions, but my mind usually has a lot of reasons already set up to support the answer. It's worth a shot.
It's all about forcing yourself to think differently. what's the worst that could happen...thinking and acting differently, if things aren't working anyway? You might be surprised. Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of madness they say. Good luck.
Thanks
I've never really enjoyed being interrogated, but I do it to myself all the time. It's sometimes the answers that I give myself that I dislike more than the questions themselves. Even when the answers suck, I still use them as positively as possible.
Self interrogation...Hmm, I have visions of you waterboarding yourself...but that's just ridiculous right? I actually know someone who tried it...self-waterboarding. Didn't last long; apparently the feeling of drowning is a powerful motivation to not want to drown and that elicits action. So, if you want to be waterboarded, I'll volunteer my services. #waterboardersRus
Seriously though...you're on the right track with the use those answers positively idea. I don't always like those I give myself either, it means more work, more effort, headaches, stress, worry, failure...less sleep...and then sometimes things work out...or I circle back to questioning myself and start again. I know you know what I mean.
Lol waterboardersRus 🤣 that totally made my day. I so dare you to make a Hive account with that name. Considering my fear of drowning, I doubt it would work. Damn, now I've told you my vulnerability...when will I ever learn to shut up?
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. It's all good, at least we're not of the ilk that don't ever question anything. Would suck to be that guy.
Hive account? I just registered a Company! It's going to go gangbusters. Waterboarding for everybody!
Lol, I'll look you up whenever I require your services 🤣
Two for one sale coming up soon.
I ask myself questions all the time. It's how I check in with myself.
An important one for me, is, I am doing enough for my girls? If not then what could I do better?
Lately cos of sone changes in my life, I have been questioning some decisions I made and whether they were the right ones.
Also if I find myself upset by something, I take the time to sit with myself and ask why? And then, what have I learned, what can I take away from the experience?
Questions to me, are like reflections really. I try my best to live more Consciously for example and for that I need to be aware, awareness involves a lot of questioning.
It's really healthy, as long as its productive. I know people who get stuck in negative loop holes which just bring them down.
Questions for me, aid my personal growth, we should never be afraid to ask them.
I agree totally when you say it's the questions we don't ask that inhibit us.
It can be an uncomfortable process at times, but that's what growth is like. Xxxx
How you check yourself. That's exactly the thing!
I know you've had some challenges lately and that's probably got you asking yourself questions and (maybe) not liking the answers but it's in the asking and answering where new paths begin and then the cycle starts again.
I was hoping you'd see this actually, for the reason I mention above; your recent feelings. I hope things are on track towards...umm, better things and that you have a good weekend.
Thank you,
Things were chaotic there for a little bit, like so much was up in the air, whirling around me. I just needed to go through somethings and come through the other side.
I feel more grounded now, like everything is coming back together.
I'm also doing a lot more physical work, which always feels good. We really are meant to use our bodies, doing so really helps us move forward as Well, especially when you feel like you have little options, which is how I felt.
Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Xxxx
A lot of the time it's the lack of option feeling more than the actual problem itself that can give rise to sub-optimal feelings. I get the impression your internal SATNAV gave you some direction, maybe some external forces also...so thank you for flying trucklife-family airlines and enjoy your onward journey. 😉
Weeeeeekenddddddd! 😆
Haha, watch me fly high xxxx