A few days ago marked 32 years of marriage for the wife and I. We have been a couple for about 35 years. Those years have not been a bed of roses though.
We endured many arguments, some out right yelling matches with each other. There were times that feelings got hurt and sometimes hurt to the bone.
I am not sure off the top of my head how many times the fmaily moved houses for one reason or the other. Mostly due to military commitments or requirements. Same can be said for my many absences, especially at the beginning of my time in the service.
There was financial woes as well, especially in the beginning. We barely had a pot to piss in. If it wasn't for the military provided housing, I'm not sure we could have even afforded to rent a place when we first got married due to the fact we were stationed in southern California.
However, we had something. I am not sure what it was, but I like to call it sticktuitiveness.
Not matter what, neither of us was willing to give up on the other or the marriage. We weren;t going to let external forces pry us apart. We made a commitment to each other and planned to keep it.
It was work!
It still is!
We haven't completely figured everything out, even to this day. But we understand each other better. We understand better the hills we are more willing to die on if you know what I mean.
Some things just aren't worth the breath used to argue over. However, there are some things you still have to stand your ground on, and ocassionally we have those moments. When we do, we have learned to take them seriously and talk them through. The former, we usually just let the other have their space and their way.
It may not work for others, but it has worked for us. I am sure it will continue to work for us for the coming years that we have remaining together.
I am not sure how many more we have together, but I do hope we continue honing our ability to understand each other even more as we grow older together.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint or iPhone.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
Beautifully written and heartfelt, I'm so glad you and the missus have found the right balance that works for you. Many couples never reach this milestone, but I'm glad that you two did. I'm glad you two found each other as you seem to compliment one another and bring out the best in each other through thick and thing.
I can't wait for that 64th anniversary post. Cheers! :)
source
We can compliment each other, but sometimes we can bring out the worst in each other too. That is because we know each other so well we can push the other's buttons just right. We aren't perfect, but we like to think we work hard at it and won't give up.
Happy anniversary! I hope your sticktuitiveness continues!
Thanks. I hope so too.
Happy anniversary! A great relief to hear that even after 35 years you didn't figure things out.
Don't take it otherwise but I sometimes get hard on my marriage thinking why after so many years it's not going smoothly. So hearing this from you makes sense to me rather than seeing the perfect couple online.
Yeah, not to say it is a shit dhow of a marriage. It just ain't perfect and we have our issues. I am just proud of the fact we haven't given up and still working on it a day at a time. We get better at it as we go.
Hoping that works for my marriage, too.
I’m sure you are doing fine. Just don’t give up and keep working at it is the only unsolicited advice I can give.
Congratulations on your anniversary!
It takes a lot to keep a marriage going, so much give and take , luckily most couple perfect the art of that, and you certainly have
Thank you. I am not sure we have perfected it, but we are working hard to.
Happy anniversary man! Really happy for you both. It does take a lot of work and for the right person and environment it is fully worth it!
Thanks. Agreed on the work and being worth it.
Happy anniversary to you and your good lady. You have 7 years on me.
Exactly 👏
We are quite lucky and rarely argue, although there have been some humdingers in there!
Call me blunt, but I think too many people just take the easy way out and break up. I was firmly brought up that you marry and stay married. I saw the effect on my wife from her parents being divorced. Being shuttled from state to state between parents.
A bit like football clubs here, they sack their manager whenever things go wrong, yet the ones who have some faith generally reap the rewards!
Yeah, we ain't perfect. We still brawl on a very rare occasion, but she usually wins anyway 😀. Which is why I don't even try anymore. 😀 No, really, it is hard work. I get it though, there are some instances I think when it is just better for the kids to cut the cords. LIke my parents divorced when I wsa young. It was a good thing because my dad was a good for nothing who wouldn't hold a job and drank too much. It was probably a good thing I didn't have that in my life.
Yeah sometimes staying together does more harm than good and I get that too!
Well I am glad you are together and long may it continue.
Happy Anniversary Joe! And many more! 🍾
Thank you. I hope so.
Congrats on the anniversary! That's very impressive! My wife I met later in life, so I know we probably won't make the 50+ years like my parents did, but I hope 30 is just as do-able for us. Some great words of wisdom there!
Thank you. I am sure you will make 30 and then some. You seem to be two peas in a pod.
Thanks!
happy anniversary! and to many more future ones
Thank you.