I like hugging, it's a great feeling and I'm quite good at it, but I don't get to do it very often, only in Biodanza once a week. I realize that, even in a tropical nation like Venezuela, most people shy away from physical contact, especially men; I'm glad that I don't have such limitations. Being hugged and hugging are just awesome, especially those long, gentle hugs involving caresses and kisses. I'm really good at it and I wish to do it more. Even my sisters aren't that keen on hugging, both cause and consequence of their emotional disgregation.
Personally, I think that even the most simple forms of physical contact like handshakes and holding hands are essential for human connection. The human body is an electrical and magnetic machine and, while our energy constantly interacts regardless of distance, touch is the most effective means of establishing a circuit, among other things, for the purposes of improving empathy. The thing is that it demands a capacity for vulnerability to be open enough for effective, loving physical contact, so shame is a huge deterrent; ironically, if unassuming, kind physicality was more common, a lot of our worst issues like traumas and resentments would be way easier to deal with.
We don't just process our own inner worlds, we process everything around us. Even the best boundaries can't hold back the emotions and vibrations of our environment, only the capacity to let go liberates us from the burden of ambient anger, sorrow and spite. It's futile to try and be unfeeling, unperceiving rocks laid in the middle of the river, we still get wet to the core and the river still sweeps us downstream. We can, however, surrender to the current and accept the water's caress. This is what I feel when I hug others, especially in the context of ceremonies, rituals or dances, where open contact is encouraged and enjoyed; I may weep on someone's shoulder or feel their tears on mine, I may laugh or sigh and likewise experience their breath on my cheek and neck. I can sense their troubles and and their excitement for life, and they mine. I can let go in their embrace and so can they in mine.
This ease of openness has allowed me great effectiveness when navigating the world. I don't get attached to any feeling anymore, the strongest sensations, be them desirable or not, are passing, ephemeral, though I can choose to solidify them if I want to. This week, for instance, after reading a few chapters of a novel I finished last night, I felt the strong desire to renew my vows of service as I've done so many times before. I decreed my surrender to the Universe and to the Supreme Consciousness, my full acceptance of Divine Will. I asked once again for understanding of all languages and sciences, overt or covert, so that I can fulfill my Dharma better and better, so that everyone and everything around me is improved by my mere presence. Yesterday, part of this prayer manifested in a Biodanza about sublimity where I got to hug people that I've come to respect and care for very much. I'm certain the experience of proximity and intimacy will only increase as the days go by.
Hugs, kisses, caresses, handshakes, looks, they're expressions of love, they all heal our humanity and preserve our sense of self, as well as revealing the ties that keep our collective consciousness fresh and flowing, especially if we combine them with joint movement. My heart calls me to offer them to everyone I meet now, to take full advantage of the honesty that I've developed over the years. My arms are willing and able to support others, to bring comfort and consolation, to spread joy. I've prepared my hands to weave wonderful realities and my voice is ready to tell stories of beauty.
Warmth, my friends! Our bodies demand greater warmth. We crave union and companionship, we're built and wired to be conscious constellations, we do much better together than on our own.
Humanity could definitely use more touch; most people are deeply touch deprived, and the fact that we have transferred so much of our interpersonal communication to texting, email and Zoom/Skype is definitely not helping, in that regard. I know there are those who would argue that we are "more connected than ever before," but are we really?
That's a great question. I think we're indeed more connected than our ancestors were, in purely technical terms, but in human terms, we still have a lot of separation to dismantle and heal. Physical experience is something that we require more. Thank you for your comment!
Physical contact can be good. It's in my Jamaican culture to greet friends with big hugs. Men object to hugging men, simply because they are homophobic and ignorant.
Slight hugs and slight handshakes irk me simply because they seem insincere.
I do hope that you'll continue to get some physical contact, even if it's at your Biodanza class for right now:) 🤗
Yeah, men are discomforted by physicality with other men, and they don't have a clue of what they're missing, hahaha. I also think that slight touch is insincere, I prefer a good strong handshake and a firm touch than wet lettuces.
Thank you, dear! I certainly will promote this more for myself. Since I'm attending more events, I'll offer hugs to anyone who wants them!
🤣
While I totally agree on the importance of physical touch, maybe it’s because I had such overbearing “love” growing up (many many complicated emotions disguising themselves as love) I have a bit of an aversion to unwarranted physical touch. I really don’t like the complicated handshakes and cheek kisses practiced by many Europeans and Americans. I feel awkward because it there is a kind of pressure to reciprocate.
This may be one subtle thing that drew me to Asia, a respect for personal space.
It’s really about the energy and respect though. If someone is astute they will see clearly if I am comfortable or not.
Two kinds of touch I really really enjoy though and I do often is a gentle but firm two second hand on the upper arm. I do this with people who I feel have too much of a wall for a hug.
The second is a sincere and consensual hug, especially one of excitement like when I haven’t seen a friend for a while or when we are both excited about the same thing whatever that may be.
Actually i get lots of hugs from a chinese photographer friend. He goes a bit far with some things that one might call harasement but hes really fun about it and we have that kind of relationship so i dont mind as long as he stops when i tell him to stop.
After my show I gave a hug to everyone including my students and they all hugged each other. I wouldn’t have hugged the two students if they didn’t seem so excited by the show and the conversation afterwards and meeting my partner and my friends, but it was clear we were on the same wave.
For me, more important than a hug is to break the physical barrier in a way that can create camaraderie, and for a lot of people in Asia, that shoulder tap really helps break the barrier so i can see if a hug is warrented or not.
Funny though, a Japanese friend was checking something on my phone while i held it and he kept brushing his hand afaisnt mine, i felt a little uncomfortable because it was unexpected but i was happy to break that barrier with him becuase i like him. If i didnt like him id be pretty displeased about it 😆 He was actually showing me a blog he wrote for facebook about his personal style of meditation/mindfulness
Naturally, what I mean here is consensual physical contact. It should always be a personal choice. Even so, I think we can both agree that the Japanese aren't the best example of vulnerability and emotional health out there, hahahaha.
In my view and experience, the more we break the physical barriers (in a kind, sincere way, of course,) the less we'll have to concern ourselves with depression, anxiety, loneliness and other forms of isolation.
I know what you mean 😆 for some reason when I think of a large group South or Central Americans I imagining hugs that I don’t want 🤣
two extremes 😛
It may also have to do with the fact that I process a lot of information and sometimes physical touch distracts me from my own rhythm. I will think about this and experiment
It has had such am amazing impact on my life and really helped to open me up to real human connection, to the power of it.
For me one of the crimes of the plandemic was to deprive people of human connection.
Sending you the biggest hugs xxxxxI hope to one day get to do biodanza with you @drrune.
That'd be awesome, dear! Biodanza is one of the most beautiful practices I've engaged in, precisely because of how it encourages contact. It's lovely. Hugs to you as well!
I love hugging too :) And you're right, it's underrated, and it's a shame how we've come to shun physical touch in our society.
<3
Maybe more people start waking up to this. One hug at a time, I don't know. I read somewhere people need eight hugs a day or something to thrive. I don't know if that's true, but I do know we need more than what the average person is getting. :) So good on you for doing your part.
Let's increase the hug rate in the world, then! I'll offer them whenever I can, to acquaintances and strangers alike. A world where physical contact is well thought of and frequent is bound to be a better world! Thanks for your comment once more!
This is beautiful poetry my friend 🙂
Physical touch is so good for all of us. I hope to call in more of it as well 🌸
Thank you so much! Yeah, I feel it's necessary and I'm going to contribute my part!
Yeah. that's true.
I agree with you.
Love and affection can be expressed in different ways but hugs, kisses, and other sensational touch is the most common ways.
Thank you for your comment!
Hugging is like a medicine to me