While I totally agree on the importance of physical touch, maybe it’s because I had such overbearing “love” growing up (many many complicated emotions disguising themselves as love) I have a bit of an aversion to unwarranted physical touch. I really don’t like the complicated handshakes and cheek kisses practiced by many Europeans and Americans. I feel awkward because it there is a kind of pressure to reciprocate.
This may be one subtle thing that drew me to Asia, a respect for personal space.
It’s really about the energy and respect though. If someone is astute they will see clearly if I am comfortable or not.
Two kinds of touch I really really enjoy though and I do often is a gentle but firm two second hand on the upper arm. I do this with people who I feel have too much of a wall for a hug.
The second is a sincere and consensual hug, especially one of excitement like when I haven’t seen a friend for a while or when we are both excited about the same thing whatever that may be.
Actually i get lots of hugs from a chinese photographer friend. He goes a bit far with some things that one might call harasement but hes really fun about it and we have that kind of relationship so i dont mind as long as he stops when i tell him to stop.
After my show I gave a hug to everyone including my students and they all hugged each other. I wouldn’t have hugged the two students if they didn’t seem so excited by the show and the conversation afterwards and meeting my partner and my friends, but it was clear we were on the same wave.
For me, more important than a hug is to break the physical barrier in a way that can create camaraderie, and for a lot of people in Asia, that shoulder tap really helps break the barrier so i can see if a hug is warrented or not.
Funny though, a Japanese friend was checking something on my phone while i held it and he kept brushing his hand afaisnt mine, i felt a little uncomfortable because it was unexpected but i was happy to break that barrier with him becuase i like him. If i didnt like him id be pretty displeased about it 😆 He was actually showing me a blog he wrote for facebook about his personal style of meditation/mindfulness
Naturally, what I mean here is consensual physical contact. It should always be a personal choice. Even so, I think we can both agree that the Japanese aren't the best example of vulnerability and emotional health out there, hahahaha.
In my view and experience, the more we break the physical barriers (in a kind, sincere way, of course,) the less we'll have to concern ourselves with depression, anxiety, loneliness and other forms of isolation.
I know what you mean 😆 for some reason when I think of a large group South or Central Americans I imagining hugs that I don’t want 🤣
two extremes 😛
It may also have to do with the fact that I process a lot of information and sometimes physical touch distracts me from my own rhythm. I will think about this and experiment