I'm not convinced it is a shame that we are not patriotic to our nation's military symbolism. Most people have moved on from the US being a warring nation, so we see the military symbolism as a sign of excess spending and unnecessary violence.
Even in my parents' generation, they had the Vietnam War, and neither of my parents supported that war either. Maybe there is some patriotism for the US when we compete in the Olympics or other national sporting competitions, but that is just about the only time I find myself rooting for the flag.