It's still VERY early on in your grief process. Here I am, starting the 5th year. Doing the filing of posts even just from 2022 emphasized just how hard it was for me to function. Just this year, and part of last year, did I really resume my gardening.
It will come back, when you are ready.
me me me me .... grateful that you told us how hard it is to go on. Why do I forget that? "Keep on keeping on," my mom says. "We can't dwell on these things."Thank you @goldenoakfarm and @riverflows for sharing the sense of loss, the impact of burying a loved one. Sorry to have gone on about *
But even she slowed down a lot after all those tombstones went up....
If course it's also about you, it's about all of us - grief is what unites us.
Oops, that comment above got truncated. "Sorry for going on about ME," I was saying...
Your posts and comments remind me that I need to hang out here more often!!!
(And just keep reminding myself not to make it all about me.)
"How hard it was for me to function" after the loss of a loved one -
Maybe if I'd found a therapist, I'd have been "validated" (excused?) for shutting down.
Two sisters, and our father, 2021, 2022, 2023, all in a row.
The cemetery with the granite slabs somehow reminds me of the dinner table.
Four of us down. Three of us left. All those empty places at Mom's epic dining room table (oval, with many "leaves" for expansion, quarter-sawn oak, aka "tiger" oak).
"It's getting crowded here,"
my only remaining sister said as she and Mom and I stood there in the cemetery, looking at those shiny granite slabs -
Oh gosh. That's so sad. I'm so sorry for your losses and the trauma you carry must be quite hard to navigate. Much love to you and thanks for you empathy.
Five years. Goodness. You know, my Mum is at that early stage of course and is far less functional than me. Widow brain. Can't be bothered exercising. She's very self aware and I can't force her but I feel so sad for her.
Self care wasn't on the menu for years. I was mostly just trying to get the house built and keep the farm going. It wasn't until last year I started doing exercise class and this year for PT and exercise class. I'm still not doing really well with self care, but it's better. But 5 years now...