“What about you, what do you do in life?”
And now, do you know what to say? Are you shooting out one word and feel like that is really you? Did you like the answer you just gave?
Are you really identifying with that roll you described your life with?
Student. Housewife. Doctor. Photographer. Artist. Carpenter. Dad. Teacher. Unemployed.
“What about you, what do you do?” I get asked and I notice something has changed. Still unsure what to answer, but no longer starting to sweat in terror because I feel like I have nothing understandable to say. I still don’t know what to say, I don’t have a one-worded-answer which I assume they would expect, but that doesn’t bother me any longer.
Why do I assume they expect such a one phrase answer? Maybe because it happened many times before. And why did I hate it so much? Maybe because I never created one phrase that seemed to resume my whole being. And maybe I put way too much importance into what people think.
I just don’t like when they judge my choices, because I also don’t want to judge theirs.
So what do I do?
Today I got up with the sun, jogged 10km along a turquoise river, drank a coffee. I feel fitter and lighter than ever after keeping up daily exercises in the mornings for the past six months, still I have to motivate myself every morning. Now I sit in a marvellous botanical Garden Café in Bern, Switzerlands capital, a city I don’t know. I write, maybe I’ll go for a swim later. Maybe meet up for a coffee. I am very excited about reading a new book I got, that seems to really put my thoughts together. I feel like every day I learn as much as six years of school weren’t able to tech me. Finally I get to choose my subjects, my teachers, they are the books I read. Meanwhile I am constantly figuring out where this self-made University will lead me.
How do I want to earn it and make it work for me? What is my time worth? Who do I want around me in life? Who do I want to be? How do I define this freedom?
It sounds like I am on a holiday. I am not. A friend recently said to me: “I like your freedom.” while that was very cute and I had to admit, that I love my freedom above almost anything in life it made me think. Especially, after I got a similar remark from another friend: “It really feels like you are doing something right in your life, just roaming around, being free and follow the flow.”
An encounter on my cycling trip to France answered my stumbling answer to his question, what I was doing, with: “That sounds like you doing the right thing.”
Those reactions from people reassure me indeed, yes they get me even more excited about the things I already love doing, meanwhile they also make me think.
Which part of my life do they see? The good one. It isn’t always that glorious, of course not, no life is. I value my freedom above most things and it comes with a price. It is far from easy and meanwhile it might look like I am on a constant holiday, never working and just refusing any adult responsabilities. That is rarely how it really goes.
When I get up at 5, not because someone tells me to, or because I need to be somewhere in time I can only rely on my own motivation or discipline. No one there to tell me I have to. No one there to remind me to write, read, keep learning and building my life. There are days where I swim in an ocean of not belonging to one thing, no word to describe my life. No collegues that are sitting in the same boat.
When I am not motivated or when I don’t see the results, there is no one there to blame. But myself, so I have to take the roll of the critique and the motivator, have to be kind and disciplined at the same time. It is far from easy nevertheless the accomplishment I get from it, when I do, is the best feeling in the world.
When I get the sense of being in the right place at the right time with the right people or by myself, just not getting over how amazing this life is. How it all turns out right if you are willing to put the effort and the attention. How everything becomes beautiful it you get the right amount of love and discipline together.
When I came here, the flower that attracted my attention most, was a purple one I have to smile when I read the name of it: “Purpur-Liebesgrass” (purple-love-grass).
Maybe thats what I do. Figure out how I can be the best version of myself in order to be able to attract the best version of life around me. That might sound cheesy to some, un-responsable to others, weird and crazy to a few more and if it sounds inspiring to just one person, well then I have achieved more than I dare to ask for.
“What about you, what do you do with your life?”
...and how do you answer, when you get asked that question?
Thank you for passing by, enjoy your week and your life, it’s a pleasure to have you around!
All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself.
This resonates so freaking much. It's like you're thinking my thoughts for me. Love it(and you and your mindset which is so damn refreshing!) <3
What is my time worth? - I wish more people asked that.
It just seems a lot of them take it as a given that they have to slave away and be on someone else's schedule, and buy into this weird consumerist culture while neglecting their soul.
I got that one too, recently. It's weird, I think, that people relate that as if it were a genetic accident. Like having brown hair or a straight nose. I mean... You're not born with this freedom, this going where the flow takes you. As you yourself know and point out, it's a compromise, a challenge at times, you work for it and earn it. Anyone can gain freedom. Which makes it all the more baffling when people are like "I love your freedom, wish I had some". You know?
Anyway. So happy you exist. And it seems you're doing the right thing from where I'm standing, too. So ride on <3 Hugs!
In the back of my mind I was hoping to get your view on this, so thank you for sharing it!!:) It is so refreshing, inspiring and reassuring to know that these thoughts resonate somewhere out there😊
Ahh the time subject, especially because time is limited and then people just "give it away" ...a concept I definitely choose to distance myself from.
Indeed! It's weird, and it is something everyone can choose. And then as well I appreciate that reaction too, I feel seen maybe or appreciated for what I value in my life, which kind of creates an energy around that I want!
Lots of love to you❤️
Amen. You, my friend, are one person I know understands that value. Of someone else out there making you feel like you're not mad for straying off the path. So thank you for that <3
It's very important, I think, finding people who get and truly see you, as opposed to people who just think you're kinda kooky and out there for living the way you do, you know?
<3
This was one of the most inspiring things I've read! I often feel the same way when being asked about my direction and "career" because I like my freedom and can't settle with one thing and mundane jobs and I'm interested in things most people are not. But the way you own your exciting, yet challenging lifestyle is beautiful!
Thank you so much for that delightful response! In fact, as hard as it sometimes is to explain myself to others, as amazing it is on the other side when people like yourself show up and we can relate to the subject:) ...and when I see you artistic expressions, I am very glad you go for it and didn't get wrapped up in anything you might not enjoy!
I get this question a lot! People in general are just curious but it can feel like I am being interrogated 😹 over the years traveling and living in foreign countries I have tried all kinds of answers. Now I just keep it simple and say "I am a writer" rather than the complicated answer, because, in the end people are trying to figure out HOW it is I can live my lifestyle, if I am living off family money or sustain myself, and HOW they themselves can attain a bit of that freedom.
I like you pointing out the HOW. Which I guess if spoken out could then open the conversation to another much more interesting level of how and why out of wich desires or fears we took the choices in each ones lives!
(I have been considering being "a writer" but somehow often felt like I want to have something to back it up, like a published book or something, maybe insecurity, or ambition or just a thought I have to ignore😊)
Thank you for sharing your part on it!
You write and share your writing online ~ so I give you permissionn to call yourself a writer! And maybe you can self-publish a zine about HOW to live an artistic and free life and give it to curious people you meet along the way 📖🌈
Yes🌸💕😊
I've been thinking lately about how to answer that question. What I do to make money does not fully define who I am, although I do like that what I do to make money and how I do it is a good representation of the part of myself that wants to live fully and feed the rest of my life that makes me happy and healed and keeps me fresh for healing others. (So I can keep the cycle going!)
I think, after reading your blog, I will consider answering with "I try to live a full and gratifying life," and see where that takes the conversation.
Oh I really like that:
Might have to get myself a sentence in those lines too!
And this:
...is really good to hear, also sounds like you done something right there:)
Thank you for sharing your side on it!
🖤
I'm a librarian. I promote literacy and oppose censorship. I guide people on their paths of discovery in fiction or non-fiction. I help teach new technological, artistic, and self-sufficiency skills. I guide adventures in Dungeons & Dragons. I create with a 3D printer. I restore order to chaos as children bring entropy to our bookshaelves. I mend and maintain while advising items which grow our collection.
That is a very beautiful description of what you are doing. And it sounds like you can relate to it? When was the first time in your life you sensed you would enjoy being a librarian?
I've been going to libraries for as long as I can remember, and I have worked in a lot of customer service jobs, so it was a good fit the moment I saw the job opening over a decade ago. I also have degrees in drafting and design, which did not fit well for long-term employment with the timing of the 2008 crash and subsequent instability, but were perfect for the emergency of 3D printing and allowed me to draw plans for library remodeling and save the district a lot of money.
Just recently I had a conversation with a friend about that, where I feel most people who do something they really enjoy, actually are referring to a passion or interest that has been there all along or since our childhood years.
Well thanks for sharing that, I love to hear how people got to the stage where they are doing something they really enjoy, very compelling:)
I value my freedom above most things and it comes with a price. This sentence stole my entire car process. 🤯
Not gonna lie, many people have asked me who I am what I do, and I think it’s pretty simple. I am a coffee plant, but there’s so much that I do so it’s very difficult to answer in just a word. I prefer to see myself as someone who is unique.
It’s been a really long time since I have walked out or even got the time to read a book. it truly is inspiring to see the way you are able to do exactly exactly what I have been meaning to, but haven’t got the time. Thank you for writing, such an engaging post. Truly, looking forward to some wonderful conversations in the future.
Thank you!! I am glad you enjoyed it. And I can see that sometimes it takes a lot of effort to make space for the things that are important to us, especially if they give a slower or more longterm gratification (such as reading books for example). When that happens though I also notice, that just taking a bit of time off for these things usually leaves you with more time/energy for all the rest... :)
😉👏🏻 nothing is easy, nothing... Until you discover that it is.
Berna, qué maravilla! Y las flores también.
Hehe, indeed😁
Thank you!! ...ah yes a marvellous city!
Thank you!!