I wish I could be a fly on the wall for many of your conversations (I'm pretty sure I have told you this before) but none more than your conversations with a shrink! I hope you perplex her, challenge her, make her think.
Depression, anxiety, fear, loathing - all of these and more motivate me. I would not want to live without them.
I would invite you in to join! I am pretty open with people here - more open in real life :)
I feel she is a bit unsure what to make of it all at the moment. I hope it helps me though :D
I wonder if there was a meta analysis on what kinds of people make the most impact on the world (positive and negative), who would it be. The contented and happy, or the ones who have a lot of negative valence.
The ones who allow negative valence would be my guess. Who thrive on it, pull up their bootstraps and get busy embracing the disruption to turn it to gain.
I have worried about your disclosing your therapy here, worried that it would add a layer of obstructive stuff to your "progress." But you don't disclose what was actually discussed at your sessions. So no need to answer this next question of mine - what kind of help do you think you need? A friend of mine recently recommended EMDR for me. I have only a small understanding of what that is. All I'd really like to do is wipe certain memories from my regular thinking. She says it would reduce their power. Reminds me of a poem I wrote a while ago:
I wish I didn't
think of you everytime
I wash the dishes
Are you still working? Have you begun your job search? The situation you are in would be depressing to anyone!