as a professional soldier, I often wonder if I could intentionally take someone's life, just because of an order, a duty. I can't speak out loud about such thoughts. Maybe before pulling the trigger, I would ask myself what kind of life my opponent I want to shoot at probably lived. Hopefully this moment will never come. Peace be with you
It's something that each soldier who may see combat needs to think about and each will draw their own conclusions and will have their own reasons for their choices. I hope you are able to come to, and action, the decisions you need as people will rely on you to do so. Good luck.