This is an interesting subject because, I am not used to speak out loud about the goodness of others and now I wonder why. Perhaps because I grew in a culture were I heard much white noise from people using the "say good things" so they can have something in return. We call that sock sucker in this part of the world haha. Still, I have find myself trying to find the best in people even when that is darkened by some of their actions. I tend to be more like "Well, no one's perfect" and turn the page.
Reading this reminded me to practice that more often and deal with the fear of being perceived as a sock sucker. Thank you for that. Also, do you have any advice about it?
I believe, when handing out praise, it must be genuine otherwise it's not really praise at all. It's the same with thanking someone, it must be done genuinely. In this way it can be beneficial to both parties, rather than something being done with an agenda.
I agree with that powerfully. But it is confusing when giving honest praise to someone you know can benefit from. You feel an inch of guilty gratification, no matter how honest it is. How do you deal with that? or have you ever felt it? Feels kind of dirty haha but I guess it is how it is. The human experience.
You mean feeling good about giving the praise? That's exactly what's meant to happen. It's uplifting, but rather than being one-sided, it has the dual benefit of of uplifting someone else first!
I've never praised someone genuinely and had them reply with, you're an asshole, fuck off! They've mostly said thank you, smiled or indicated in other ways they were grateful to have had their efforts acknowledged. They feel good, and I feel good having made them feel good. It's a simple concept and it's not at all a problem to feel good about having done it. The praise must be genuine though.
You are right. I have met people who have never received an honest compliment and always value when I give one, because they know I don't have time for bullshit. I am always glad to uplift and see that smile. I'll practice that more often!