This is one of my favourite pictures of Smallsteps from when she was a toddler. I remember taking the pictures that day in our bedroom, because there was a clear white wall, but not too much space between the bed, so it was hard to get a full image at a nice angle. We took lots of photos there, and we took lots more photos back then - and I miss taking them.
Unfortunately, no one wants to pose for me these days.
I get it - I am rarely in pictures myself.
The difference is of course, that thankfully my daughter got enough of my wife in her genes and they are both beautiful, but I on the other hand am far less so. Smallsteps looks like me, but for anyone casually seeing us on the street, they aren't likely to put two and two together and figure we are related - so it is going to get very awkward in the future when we continue doing our daddy-daughter coffee trips, and she is in her teens.
Today we were talking about getting her a phone for when she starts school, as it is a hike and she is going to have to be in various different places and is going to have to be able to check schedules on the fly, as well as contact people to visit them and what not. When I was a kid, it wasn't necessary to have a phone, but times have changed. However, there are going to be rules.
My daughter hates how many rules I have.
For instance, on her phone there will be no games. This might relax at some point, but not to begin with and when it does relax, the games will be things like word games she can play with me. The other thing is, there will be zero social media applications, except Whatsapp - and we will have control of her contacts list. My wife is far looser with this, but she also uses various social medias herself - and it eats up far more time than she realises. For kids, it is absolutely horrible - not because of the time it eats, but the conditioning it promotes.
A lot of parents who are giving young kids phones today think that it is okay because they themselves use a phone and it isn't a "problem" as they see it. However, most adults with children today didn't have a childhood with a smartphone in their hands, and we are seeing what it is doing to those who did - with a whole range of behaviours that are creating barriers to a good life, including their attention span.
Pay attention to the little things, isn't the same as only able to pay attention for a short amount of time.
Even adults are affected by this, with a shortening attention span and increasing anxiety when having to be alone with thoughts. So, how is that meant to be good for children? What is interesting is that like smoking a few decades ago, we know it is bad, yet we keep promoting it because there is money to be made on it. It doesn't matter how negative the impacts are on individuals and society, if there is a buck to be made, then it is acceptable to sell.
There is so little good that is being delivered by the commonly used internet these days, despite the internet having all information possible available. Availability and utilisation are very different things, and most of us (yes me included too often) aren't using our available resources well. So if adults are struggling, how the hell are kids meant to learn to use their resources well, when the easiest thing to do is to not?
The habit formation is for a worse us, not a better us.
My daughter has had a pretty good life so far in my opinion, and while there are rules, there is also a lot of freedom and trust. Rules allow for that. And, when it comes to some rules, it is okay to have "non-negotiables" like no social media. It doesn't matter if all the other kids have it, kids aren't experienced enough to know what is good for them all of the time. If a child can't be trusted to choose to eat a healthy diet when there is unhealthy food to choose from, what makes parents think that they are fit to make a decision on what is suitable to be exposed to and interact with for their mental and emotional development?
There are a lot of fat kids these days.
There are also a lot of stupid kids.
Kids have always been stupid, haven't they? What I mean here is of course inexperienced. But when kids are largely being raised by algorithms and pixels, what kind of experience are they getting that will help them interact with and be content in the real world? Perhaps that's the plan though, isn't it? They aren't going to interact with the real world, they are going to be enslaved in the digital world instead.
It has been about six years since that picture was taken and my daughter still plays dress-up and makes homes for her stuffed toys. She is a kid, with a rich imagination and a healthy appetite for play. Yet, she can also be trusted to get a healthy snack and do her homework when she comes home from school, even if she is alone. She has experience playing as a kid, and she has the experience of rules and responsibilities at a kid level too. These are formative times, and both are required for a balance life in the future, because even if she does exactly what she wants, she will be setting her own rules and responsibilities as well.
I see a lot of the screen distractions as avoidance of the experiences that are important for "well-rounded" humans. It happens at the adult level, and we are teaching kids in their formative stages so they never even have the chance to experience and learn the skills that will matter to them later in life. And by then, later is likely, too late.
There are times for children to explore, and there are times that parents set the limits. Defaulting to what everyone else is doing, ends up getting the same results as everyone else. And just like the quality of goods and services, mediocre isn't what it used to be.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
In my experience you have to strike a balance between real world and computer skills. Our son was a bit too much into computers and gaming and he became a software engineer working for Amgen, but his social skills sometimes leave some to be desired. Our daughter on the other hand was to isolated from the digital world so her computer skills are a bit behind, but she is quickly catching up :)
I am an ass man so I will focus on the buts ;D
Have you noticed (or suspect) any issues he has faced because of this?
Is she incapable of learning what she needs?
My point is, perhaps it is like hiring for a role - sure there has to be some level of expertise, but a lot of the technical can be taught/learned - but when it comes to personality and social skills, it is far, far harder.
My first real experience with a PC was when I was 16. I can't code and I can't even type well, but I have managed technically and in IT fields. However, it would be better if I was more technical, given my areas. But, I never even started learning anything official at any age, it is all self "taught" (bumbling through). What if kids today were taught the personal, interpersonal skills, with an additional focus on how to learn, and then get into the technical?
I did notice, while he is very successful at work, he has some issues in relationships with women and finding new girlfriends.
She is definitely capable of learning what she needs. I did have to sit down with her and explain how YouTube works at her age of 11.
But my wife is doing a really great job teaching her soft skills and emotional intelligence.
Keep in mind that as they get older and start succumbing more to peer pressure/wanting what other kids have/access to they start finding ways to work around any "non-negotiable" rules that they find unreasonable/don't want to/understand the reasoning behind (especially if you refuse to engage in discussion with them and it's basically no because you know best). I don't think you'll have too much of this problem but it's a thing that I've watched happen.
I'm not even going to contend with the opposite upbringing of my kids and the end result of that with two of them as young adults and one not far off because I think I've done that enough XD
I love those photos where they seem to be screaming happily at the camera, I'm pretty sure I've got one of Middle that's similar but probably in a fairy dress as she lived in those for a while.
There are some things I am hoping she will challenge. Even now, I have tried to get her to question the rules to find out why they are there, rather than just listen on face value. If she can justify a good reason why a rule (or whatever) should change, that is fine for me!
Wouldn't it be great to go through this phase as an adult?
Fairy dresses come in adult sizes too :)
A photograph captures an unrepeatable instant, immortalising a memory that transcends time. It is a fragment of life frozen forever, evoking emotions and details that might otherwise fade away. This image becomes a bridge to the past, allowing us to relive moments with the same intensity with which they were lived. In this way, a simple photo has an incalculable value: the ability to preserve the ephemeral and transform it into the eternal. In these digital times, who doesn't have a camera on their mobile phone, these are times when photography and videos flood the social networks.
They say "a picture tells a thousand words" but I disagree with it these days. Now, there are so many pictures that most people don't even look at them with any time, let alone any thought put into the image itself. It is just more filler to attract the eye, not the mind.
I'd say inexperienced and/or ignorant is probably a better word. I think there is a big difference between ignorant and stupid. I'm not really sure how to explain it though, it just feels different to me. You can be smart but ignorant about a subject, but stupid people are just stupid...
Yeah, "stupid" is me being facetious :)
Gotcha!
In fact we needed phone, but the technology was not that much developed then. Now I think how strange it was that we used to phone each other and tell the location to meet. We almost didn't have a chance later to ask where are you or are you coming 😄
I had a landline only until I was 16. Even then, I didn't need a mobile and most people didn't have one - but I got a hand-me-down. A Nokia brick from about 1993 :D
When I was a kid I really wanted a set of walkie-talkies.. for me and my mates, a pre-cursor to a phone, but worse?
It never happened...
My older brothers had a set, and they had a distance of several meters if I remember correctly! They weren't good ones. :D
A precursor for sure, but it also was a bit different, because it required physical meetups first, and then it was largely about relationship building while apart too - getting up to real-world mischief together.
I would have been disappointed, my expectations were a mile or so! In those days, it was knock-knock, Dave's mum answers the door, is Dave in, no, damn, door shuts..., get the walkie out.., find Dave..., it would never have worked 😀
It could also be they were screwed by the time I saw them. @galenkp can give insight. I remember they were bluish-green with orange buttons.
Unless he was actually in and his mother didn't like you ;D
Ha!.. she was a fiery Irish woman with bottle blond hair and a wicked temper, but having 3 boys made her that way. I kind of liked her.., their dad was a contemptuous cunt who spent every living moment in the pub. That was the way of life then.
Yep, blue-green body with orange buttons. The range wasn't far but we loved them and though they were the coolest things. Nothing like the GME XRS handhelds I use now...range of 5+ kilometres from a handset is decent. (They cost more though.)
Is it a safety thing now?
That's one reason yeah, loads of uses of course. It's incredible the range a UHF radio can get even without a repeater; I have handhelds and vehicle mounted.
Cutest little ladybug ever!
i have a toddler and hubby bought him a kids tab, though i think its a terrible idea but he convinced me he would only be using it for his nursery rhymes which will help with his education background and speech. there are zero app and games no other cartons aside from a 100 educational videos. so yeah i think getting her a phone isnt a bad idea if its controlled and used for educational purposes.
I see these kids out at shops and restaurants, just staring at phones and tablets, and many of them are under a year of age. Anything to keep them busy so the parents don't have to parent. I can't imagine what it would have been like to do that, and what I would have missed - I loved spending time with my daughter out and about, playing and talking and being silly together. We still do it today :)
yes its very rampact over here too, but viewing it another way spending time with them is a fantastic lesson and memory
!BBH
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I always do not support kids playing games for long hours and also on social media because it affects their attention span. I have been thinking of how to go about it when my daughter is of age and is in need of a phone and also how to overcome peer pressure because lately children have tablets around its now like every child ought to have one
Great pic! I am so thankful I made it through the 'growing up' years. My daughter is graduated, working, and living in her own apt. My son is still in highschool, but he's a big guy and i dont worry about him anymore.
That pic reminds me of my silly monkey daughter before when she was that age..