Regret Nothing
I sat down with the psychotherapist today and the conversation got me thinking about one of the regrets in my life. We should of course "regret nothing" but I am actually yet to meet someone who lives this, but I have met several liars who claim it. Yet, I know I have some regrets in life and the one that I was thinking about today dates back thirty years, when I made a decision about what to study at university.
Like all decisions we make, at the time I made the decision, I thought it was the right thing to do, but I made it under duress. I was forced by circumstances, as after a few years of being incredibly ill and struggling through school to get good enough scores for university, I looked for a safe option, rather than the one I wanted to do. I chose business, when I wanted to choose psychology.
This doesn't mean I would have been a good psychologist, and saying that doesn't mean I would have been terrible at it. It is just that from a very young age and again, perhaps through circumstance, I have spent a lot of time observing human and reflecting on those observations to develop insight into why people might be behaving a certain way. This doesn't mean that I would have had to sit down and listen to people's problems all day either, as I think I would have naturally gravitated toward behavioural psychology, and looked into environment design.
From my experience, a lot of the psychologists get into their field because they are looking to find out why they themselves are suffering. I think that it is common for healthcare professionals, where oncologists often lost someone to cancer close to them, and I am yet to meet an ophthalmologist who doesn't wear glasses themselves. It makes sense that we go into areas based on our experiences, because that is where we spend a lot of our time, and we are invested.
I spent a lot of my time alone observing people when young, and then ill as a teen, so I spent a lot of my time perhaps indirectly, thinking about wellbeing. My own wellbeing, as well as that of others. Business was the unnatural choice for me, but it seemed more stable because it was positioned as being a more versatile degree. It is a Jack of all trades, master of none degree.
This is all in the past and unchangeable, making the consideration a counterfactual, but right now there is a mammoth demand for mental health professionals, as well as behavioural design experts. This might change kin the near future with AI doing a lot of the analysis work, but this is something that I would have found interesting up until at least this point, because it is always changing and the shifts in culture and technology has had massive impacts on our behaviours, and our physical and mental health over the last few decades.
Very little of it for the better.
I think working in areas that help people improve their wellbeing, would be something that I would find meaning in, something I would enjoy, and probably something I would be pretty okay at. Unfortunately, I think that ship has sailed, especially since I am in Finland. Though it would have been pretty valuable here to be a native English speaker, and a psychologist, as that is probably a pretty in demand niche at the moment.
So yeah, that is one of my regrets, because even though I have managed through professional life to some degree, I think that had I been more interested in what I was doing and I believed it had high value, I think I would have found ways to excel in at least parts of it. Instead, decades later, things are not going quite the way I had hoped they would, considering I took the safe option.
Do you have any professional regrets?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
My wife would fully agree with that. She sits through professional development for her job in the mental health field and she often exclaims to me that she feels like the attendees are there looking for free therapy not because they want to enrich themselves professionally. There are tons of different jobs in the psychology field. I know several people who are on the research side of it, so they don't really even see patients.
Yep. I probably wouldn't be good with patients... I would be too "impatient" :D
Research would be good I think. Though I reckon designing experiences would have been pretty interesting.
My nephew is actually in the psychology field and I think he works at a state facility doing evaluations and things like that. It still deals with people, but not in the "therapy" sense. From what I hear working intake at the hospital can be quite exciting. My sister in law used to do that and she had some crazy stories!
I'd steer clear of hospitals these days - people are crazy! Though, it is far better on the private side it seems.
Yeah, I can definitely believe that. Most of those state run places are so underfunded it isn't funny.
The dreams we left behind! I was thinking about it. And to go forward with this, I read something really interesting about achieving your childhood dreams, in a partial way, as a way to progress and get a higher self esteem and motivation. I always wanted to fly a plane, so maybe few lessons will do good. For the fun of it.
Have you ever tried one of the flight simulators? There are professional pilot ones that you can hire with instruction that are supposedly amazing. My friend's son is looking to be a pilot and they did it in Helsinki to get experience.
Also - sometimes fulfilling childhood dreams seems silly to me, as they are the dreams of a child with little experience.
Wow, flight simulator, never thought about it.
Some childhood dreams may be silly, but they cover some parts of you that you forgot. Or lost along the way.
Check this as an example: https://medium.com/@mariia.popova/how-our-childhood-dreams-affect-us-today-understanding-the-power-of-imagination-ec41b25c24e6
Thank you for sharing. This hit me hard, as I also wanted to go into Psych then went into computers because there was supposed to be a demand for it, and it paid well. Ended up taking jobs outside my field because by the time I'd finished computer programming, I couldn't stand to even look at them anymore. I've got the same regret, one of the only ones I look back on and wish I could change. I'm telling my kids to follow their dreams, that happiness is greater than a fat paycheck, and that they only live once so make the best of it. <3
Lucky you are here playing around in crypto now ;D
I often wonder about this. Is it better to struggle financially and do something wanted, or do something "okay" and not struggle?
I'm hoping they can do BOTH. My son wants to be an auto mechanic, and I know some parents would steer their kids away from this kind of job since it's not "academic". I encourage the trades! Get those useful skills, make money, AND do something you enjoy! As long as they can support themselves / their (eventual) families, I will support them.
Haha that's true. We always have to pick our preferred path whenever we encounter crossroads in our lives. I studied Statistics in university and was very passionate about it, and wanted to become a Statistician back then. But I chose a (unrelated) job that provided a more stable source of income - I still had a meaningful working experience all these years because we always make the best out of what we have - but back in my little mind, this little dream/regret will always be there. Hope I am making sense. Hehe.
The subject I hated the most - but now wish I had been more interested in!
This is a good thing to remember to I believe. Maximising meaning might get a bit more, but is the more enough to warrant the extra input. Perhaps I might get a bit more meaning doing something else, but at what cost?
Yeah agree, there's always that trade off.
People have regrets, especially when they are very young. They should get help from experienced people on this issue. Because at that time, when they are inexperienced, they cannot make healthy decisions.
My regret is that I continue to live in a small, limited-opportunity city.
Have you ever lived anywhere else, or have you been there all your life?
I've lived in other places from time to time, but it's very short. Like 1-2 years. I've lived in the same place for 80% of my life.
Professional regrets?! Of course. Several…
Not ready to discuss them so openly yet.
They can be touchy subjects!
Yeah,
I’ll just say it’s hard to have a business partner. Lol
I don't have regrets about my professional choices. I did get a school of business degree majoring in accounting, but I ended up building a career in IT. No regrets there as I like what I do.
For me, I think the regret is that I reckon I would have had more to offer, rather than that I would enjoy it more myself, if that makes sense.
Accounting was my worst subject at uni, followed by statistics. Two things I wish I was much better at now! :D
Lol that is an awesome typo :)
My kind of woman.
I think we had a similar situation.
A safe option
I had to choose a safe option for the universty so that I could begin to work and earn money rather than following my dreams/ideas.
That's to say I was also forced by circumstance.
And I reckon it is the "forced" that makes it harder to accept. Technically though, I wasn't forced, I made my own decisions. I worked all the way through university full-time too, so it wouldn't have mattered what degree I did then. Safe career choices rarely seem to lead to great careers! :D
It could be for money, but sure about doing the job you like.
Since primary schools, my intention was to study Systems Engineering. I entered the University with the first option in Computer Science, but my eyes were overwhelmed by the inclemency of the TCR, amber or green monitors, so I dropped out for a semester and could not return to study it. I went on to study numerical analysis. And years later, I ended up in a Classroom, and it's been wonderful everything that's happened… I'm sure it was the right thing to do.
I saw one of these recently at a factory site :D
Perhaps because it turned out okay. What if it hadn't? Or what if the other path would have been better? surety is only when we know the result already :)
I regret that I wanted to get into stock trading in 2000 and put it off until 2006. I also followed Bitcoin from 2011 to 2013, but only bought in 2017 and not Bitcoin but an altcoin :)
People always have regrets about the money side of thing, but a lot of that is chance. I regret not entering the right numbers for the lottery :D
It reminds me of my first attempt at buying Bitcoin with a couple hundred euros. It would have bought me about 10 at the time, but I couldn't work out how to transfer from my bank, so I gave up and went out drinking instead.
It’s a pity that there wasn’t Hive back then, they would have told you how to buy it. Or you should have gone to the largest Bitcoin forum - Bitcointalk.
Yep. I had no idea how to do anything. The next time I did anything in crypto was when I joined Steem - and when I joined, I didn't know it was :D
Is going back to study an option? I first went to University when I was fifty-two and straight to a one year masters degree. I had to provide some evidence that I could study at that level, psychology may require more technical background or statistics, and perhaps it is possible to gain those. I worked two days a week to pay the rent, and possibly doing part-time over two years might be a better option.
I don't think it is an option for me here in Finland, but I am going to look into if there is something "adjacent" that might be interesting to do. It has been a long time since I have studied though!
That sounds a good idea. There are lots of online/remote/blended courses from all over the world. I'm sure UK universities would be quite happy to take your money.
Yeah, there's a lot to consider, especially because you have a family. I was thinking that this was a regret that doesn't need to be, though.
We allways have something to feel that, on good or Bad way. 🙌🏻⚡⚡
Like I said I regret that I did not find Hive sooner and that I was not consistent enough. I regret taking breaks. I regret all the Hive I lost at hive slot games. I regret that I don't have talent for selling things...
It seems you would be a good pysch researcher or analyst. Is there a chance you can go back to school for it? I know it is harder when you are older, married, and have to work for a living, but some are able to do it a class at a time.
As far as professional regrets of mine, I have them. Not sure I want to go into it here though and not sure many would understand why I regret it.
well, I really do NOTHING even related to what I majored in college, MUSIC ED. I do hive, trade stock options, and invest. I don't even play my sax anymore. I don't think I regret how things turned out nor do I think mt time in college was a waste.. :)