Under the Threshold

in Reflectionslast month

It is Friday, but work will continue into the night this week, as there is a Team social event on the agenda. Normally, these are pretty good, but I am not sure how this one will go, because technically, it is not with the team I am in, but could be a team I join in the future, depending on a few factors. I know most of the members pretty well, but their group dynamics are quite different to those of where I am now, and they are far more reserved with each other. Also, they are a bit more technically minded, so their personalities tend to lean more toward being introverted. Nothing wrong with that, until in a social group dynamic, and no one talks.

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We will have some kind of dinner together and then for something a bit different, we will watch a concert of a band that was popular with young people twenty years ago, play their hits with a symphony orchestra. I guess this is quite suitable for most of the Finnish people in the group, because they have feelings tied to the band from way back, and the orchestra makes it a more "mature" lens with which to revisit their childhood.

I was listening to a talk the other day that mentioned how genetic factors influence pretty much every trait we have and one that stuck out to me, was how enthusiastic a person might be at a concert. I am one of those "sit, watch and listen" kinds of audience members, whether it be music or sports, but I don't "get into it" like some people do. It isn't because it would embarrass me, but I just don't seem to be that big of a fan of anything.

But it makes me wonder, is it that I am not a fanboy, or is it because in order to exhibit the same kinds of qualities, I need far more input? For instance, I don't get cold easily, so I am generally the last one to put on a jumper when it cools, but I might be feeling exactly the same as others. So, perhaps it is similar with my enthusiasm, where I need to be "cold enough" in order to act, but the threshold is too high which stops me acting. Maybe, if it pushed over that barrier, I would behave like any other fan, dancing on my seat, or screaming at the referee for a shitty call.

I was talking to my supervisor today about something along these lines, where certain actions are invisible until they get to a specific level, and then they get seen. The example I used to explain my activities I stole from the book Atomic Habits, where they visualized an ice cube sitting on a table in a temperature a few degrees below freezing. If it gets warmer by one degree, nothing changes in the ice cube. If it gets warmer by another, nothing changes. However, once the temperature goes above freezing point even slightly, the ice cube begins to melt. Essentially, the temperate could be 100 degrees below freezing, but it isn't until that last degree that goes above, that any change is seen.

The straw that broke the camel's back.

I guess a lot of our lives might be affected similarly, but possibly we focus on the negatives, where for instance, stress builds up to a certain point and then one more tiny hiccup arises, and we explode. If we are consistently just below freezing, every hiccup could push us to meltdown. But, if we have mechanisms in place that will lower our temperature well before getting to breaking point, it would appear that we never lose our cool, never explode. The trick is to stay refrigerated, and not let the cold air escape by leaving the door open for too long.

There are many examples to visualize this, but I think it is something that we should consider for our own mental health and development. Because if we can become aware of the mechanism in play, the triggers that raise the temperature can also be the indicators that trigger a preemptive response before our temperature gets too high and we lose control of our desired behaviors.

I am looking forward to being out of the house and doing something interesting tonight though, because it is pretty rare that I do these kinds of things these days. I am currently hoping that it isn't an overly long night though, so I might set an alarm as a trigger to remind me when it is time to excuse myself and head home again.

I can always ignore the trigger if I choose.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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What if you were drunk? Wouldn't you go with the song or music ? 😉

Even drunk!

But I am guessing there might be a threshold limit there too - but it has been a long time since I have crossed it :D

You're right keeping the refrigerator door closed will prevent the drop in temperature that can make us explode. Everyone experiences some kind of pressure people who manage their own are the ones that appear not to feel anything.

I wish you luck with your social event this weekend, be sure to have lots of fun.

I'm not really the sort of person who gets overly exuberant at concerts either. I might sing along a bit, but I mostly just sit or stand there and take it in. I love the music and I wouldn't go if I didn't love the artist, but I don't feel the need to bounce around like a drunk coed! I've started to try and take a pause before I reply to emails. That's probably my biggest issue. I come off as crass otherwise, which isn't the way I want my coworkers to see me.

Everyone expresses their emotions as they feel most comfortable. I in particular would not attend a concert of loud music, a kind of Miniteca with an atmosphere full of cigarette smoke… My tranquillity and comfort is what is important. I don't drink liquor, I don't smoke.

My work group is well-formed, and we have the same tastes, so whichever of them organises an outing, it is certain to be framed for everyone and there will be no surprises. In case I have been invited by another group and I feel I will be uncomfortable, I simply do not attend.

There are definitely emotional traits that are heavily influenced by genetics.
Well, it influences everything....
And yes, yes there are triggers, like the exact temperature with ice.
Cheers, @tarazkp

I saw a psychiatrist once saying that free will does not exist because all people have a genetic predisposition to be the way they are and make the decisions they make. I believe that this article about enthusiasm has to do with this in some way... Sometimes I tend to believe that, when I look at my habits and the habits of my family members or even the habits of people I've known for a long time. I ask myself: could it be any other way?

I am one of those "sit, watch and listen" kinds of audience members, whether it be music or sports, but I don't "get into it" like some people do.

We are complete opposites there buddy. From the first minute to the last minute, when the music comes on I am on the dance floor making moves. It's always puzzling to me how people can manage to sit/stand still when there is compelling music/beats in the background.

if we can become aware of the mechanism in play, the triggers that raise the temperature can also be the indicators that trigger a preemptive response before our temperature gets too high.

If only I could teach my partner that trick when I say something stupid or she misconstrues what I have to say. So much of our daily friction would be removed if she could do a better job not reacting as strongly to the dumb shit that comes out of my mouth without thinking.