A day ago, there was a stabbing murder at our local supermarket. Perhaps in some places this isn't news, but in Finland and especially at 5pm on a weekday, it is rare. Yet, this kind of violence seems to be increasing. This wasn't a random act of violence in the sense that they were strangers, as they knew each other, but it is still quite random, as they arrived in the same car together. Apparently, an argument broke out and someone or both (it hasn't been mentioned but the suspect is injured in hospital too) pulled knives, resulting in the death.
I feel that we are living in an increasingly violent time, where "petty violence" has increased.
There is nothing petty about murder, however this kind of violence seems to be more about a lack of emotional control, than a real need for any kind of physical altercation. And, there seems to be an increasing trend around the world, where especially young people are becoming more unstable and increasingly violent toward others. This is likely becoming more visible in the media too, setting up opportunity for confirmation bias, but the trends do seem to be heading that way, even in places where this kind of thing barely happened earlier.
I believe this has been happening for a long time already, where the trend has been leading this way, as there has been an encouragement to not control emotions and instead, react without filter. This has been further exacerbated by the reliance for social connection and information through social platforms, where polarization and outrage is encouraged to increase clicks, as well as siloing of information buckets and views of topics through curated feeds. And then of course, the influencers on the platforms who court controversy for market differentiation to garner attention.
It is a ramping up of increasingly extreme views and behaviors in a demographic that has low life experience and perspective, and poor emotional management skills. It is a recipe for the results we are seeing now, and will increasingly see globally - not "only in America". Combine this with the "normal" pressures a person faces with economic hardship, social pressures and the challenges faced in finding a place in an increasingly volatile and hostile environment, and it is going to stir the pot and bring it to the boil even faster.
In many ways, I feel myself an alarmist mentioning these kinds of things, because for most people, they seem like isolated incidences that are relatively rare. Yet, I also think that if we don't address the trend lines quickly enough, it starts to gain momentum and velocity, moving very fast, making it difficult to pull back.
Social trends and changes in culture are constant and there is no "staying the same" or "going back to the past" possible; only forwards. Yet, this doesn't mean that moving forward has to be a degrading process where values are lost, it could be a process of improvement where values are increased and what is harmful or redundant is replaced with better cultural behaviors. I might sound very old, but I don't think the current direction is heading us toward some kind of global enlightenment and it feels more like a shift toward the dark ages.
This is definitely an area where I would be happy to be wrong, but at least from the reports of the various levels of teachers I know, the children they teach are more disruptive, not on average getting more skilled at handling their emotions, nor are their skills in other areas increasing, so at least anecdotally (skills based on reports), it seems the trends are moving as at least I have expected they would.
Even in Smallsteps' preschool age classes, they have some trouble with the violence exhibited by six year olds, as well as the way they speak to each other. Thinking that I am an older parent in comparison to most, the age group of the parents of these kids is usually millennial generation, which was definitely part of the "express your emotions" era, which got translated into, do not learn to control your emotions. Have they led by example?
Somehow I feel like our own isolation from each other is leading to increased violence toward one another, as we are polarized and living in fear of one another and no longer capable of being able to understand nuance or handle disagreements civilly. It is like the outrage behaviors of the internet are now spilling out into the streets to create a hostile environment. While the internet knows no chill, the physical world is heading in the same direction.
At the meta scale of culture, I am not sure what can be done, but at the individual level, I take the approach that emotional awareness and self-control that enables reflection before reaction is the way to go. As a parent, I try to instill this practice into my daughter also, so that her emotional understanding and ability to control herself is on point, so that even if she can't control the reactions of others, she can recognize a bad situation and extricate herself early, or make good decisions under difficult conditions. The challenge with educating in this is, there are more forces in culture, educating against it.
The consumer world loves hype and drama and drives for it, as if encouraging consumer mindset behavior and polarized views on topics is not going to affect people's walking world activity. We are not good at compartmentalizing and when we spend so more time isolated in front of screens than connecting and interacting with humans, it is natural that our habits and behaviors are going to be influenced to act more like the outraged feeds, than the relative civility of face to face conversation.
We are what we eat.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
"Handling" ones emotions is a learned skill that must be taught. Unfortunately, many of todays children seem to be quite spoiled, allowed to throw temper tantrums in public, yelling back at their parents, or even striking and hitting them. In my younger days, we would not have dared such behavior at risk of being spanked in public, slapped, or worse. While I certainly do not believe in bullying or abuse, for both dogs and children to learn, there must be positive and negative consequences. That is all their brain is capable of understanding until it reaches a more mature level of reason and understanding. Ideally much more positive than negative, but they need to learn that a hot stove burns, an ice cube is cold, and that bad behavior results in bad consequences. Those same tantrums and uncorrected behaviors as children lead into the uncontrolled behaviors as teens and adults. So yes parents, it's your fault. Address it early, or see them in jail or worse. Now that's not to say all in jail or bad behavior is a result of poor parenting, yes some are just out of control sociopaths like a rabid dog regardless, but that is a far fewer minority.
"Stay strapped or get clapped" -- George Washington (maybe).
I completely agree. I also believe that the few times I was spanked, my parents didn't do it to hurt me physically, it was more of a shock kind of thing. The lack of physical consequence online, makes people believe they can say and do anything without facing consequences. And now we see it in the streets.
The rise in violence has many causes. I think about the 1980s, when there was no internet and there were no such realistic games as now. People lived in a different world and domestic murders, as a rule, were among alcoholics and those who fell out of the normal social circle. I think that now, decades later, people have become more lonely - and therefore more distant from each other.
I don't think it is gaming, but the disconnection from people through gaming can have an affect, since the alternative is also disconnection through social media, or disconnection through streaming content. The disconnection is the main issue I believe.
Violence is a problem that should be tackled seriously and decisively as it is on the rise.
In Finland maybe cases like this are isolated, but already in Italy they are things that happen more often and, the worst thing, is that so many young people are giving in to violence.
I don't know what could depend on it, if on the influences of social media, on the fact that violence is accessible and seen everywhere, on the drift of our society; everyone is a little more angry and many can't keep control that's the point.
I believe that managing anger and one's emotions is important in a path of personal growth ... it is equally true it is important that it would not be nice for my personal growth to be interrupted by an imbecile boy who goes around with a knife and gets pissed off if you feel watched... and we have many of these things here in southern Italy.
Reading and reflecting I am convinced that the world is not a simple world at all; sometimes I think I'm isolating myself for this reason, my contacts are reduced to what is necessary and to my closest family members; my social life is shopping at the supermarket once a week and for the rest... me, my wife and our pets and the thing that makes me think is that it's okay with me...
Maybe I'm starting to go the way of the hermits lol!
I think it has increased with the social media extremism that has been pushed through politics also, with a lot of far-whatevers polarizing on topics that make people scared and feel threatened.
Violence has always been around and many people have been heavily exposed to it in reality, but not become violent themselves. But at those times, there were social communities and family units that built connection. Now, people are isolated, alone - but still have human desires.
I think many have, which also means that the streets are filling with psychos.
Many conflicting ideas on this matter some look back to "spare the rod spoil the child" which simply means discipline brings about a stronger stable mind, not beating a child up literally, many have taken out of context.
Children actually feel loved when given direction in behaviour, something we still see is a child being smacked on the bum when throwing temper tantrums in shops. You cannot always send a child to his room, or ban a phone for a day or two, parents really need to think about how they raise the child from young, before school age.
Religion has been the back bone in many societies which kept a reasonable of check on the people through teachings. Modern society not many believe, which is fine, they need to find a balanced way to manage to instill learning of right/wrong, We are all packed with good/evil needing to find balance in life by not killing each other for next to nothing.
!BEER
The idea that making spanking illegal has saved children from physical is ridiculous. Parents who would hit a child to the point they are injured will do it anyway.
Religion is a good point to bring up, because humans have a need for purpose and in the absence of religion, many can't create a healthy purpose for themselves, so they make religions out of social movements and increasingly extreme ideologies, without the community as a whole to temper it.
As a child always up to mischief with older brothers my bum looked like the stripes on a flag pretty often, lived to tell the story and learned lesson. I think parent feels more pain than the child does, having a wooden spoon for my boys growing up spared my hand sometimes.
Humans need purpose and community, growing up with a father who attended and mother who did not, one learned to appreciate from different angles when young. I don't attend and nor do my children, I did take them when young then by their own selection when teenagers they made their own decisions. Each individual has right to choice, mine is nature yet I am steadfastly against this climate change ideology and how it is being handled.
I know that happens, and alot. But I would never have thought something like that happened in Finland.
Geez, was it close to jou in any manner?
You are correct, younger people don't have control of any emotions they have. They barely have control over anything.
At the local shops we visit.
Raise children without responsibilities and consequences and this is what happens.
So it's even in your general area🤷♂️ damn dude.
I am convinced that there are still many good people wanting to do things well, to make a "relative" difference in this world.
In my country murders are, the order of the day, too many "sicario" hired killers. Unstable macabre minds, emotionally unstable partner.
And as you say, Mr. Taraz, neither of us knows what the other is suffering from. Nor how much pain some words said at the wrong time that end in murder can cause; but aggression is no answer for mockery. It still takes a lot of empathy to understand what the other person is feeling; not by decision, but because sometimes we have to face adverse situations.
You do well to educate your girl so that she learns step by step to recognize unpleasant emotions.
Don't you find it strange that murder is so common and kind of accepted in some places?
People are self-centered and unable to judge how others are impacted by their actions, whilst also not being able to control their own reactions. Under pressure, people snap and what it takes to create the stress is changing.
Oh, Mr. Taraz it is terrible what happens in so many parts of the world that sometimes it seems like a "fashion" in the most vulnerable socioeconomically, extremely poor young people who are enfiladed into these criminal groups at a very young age 12, 13, 14 years.
These are things that we should take into account for prevention.
What's going on? What should we work on? There is a lot to do from our homes; people, education, jobs, parents, friends, and the government system. How exhausting this is for all citizens of a country where morality and civics were lost a long time ago simply to fit in and be accepted. Without a doubt, The world has changed!
Last day I read an article about Finland, the writer was stressing on how a safe country it is. This event could be isolated one.
It is relatively safe, compared to most places in the world, but it is changing.
Oh, do not get me started, as in UK, mainly in London, is this frenzy of wearing a knife hidden on you, for self defense. Once you got the weapon, you are more likely to use it. Not only, but I think the whole approach is wrong, doesn't matter how many times the police will check you, abusive or not. What they really need is to start to educate children and adults, and offer real opportunities as you grow up, as e teenager, to the point where joining a gang will seems irrelevant.
There is also an "alpha male" trend, even among the people who are not alphas, so weapons become even more necessary. More opportunities need to be given and, more education into how to take opportunities.
Agree 100% to this.
All depends on where you live, I never leave my home without my flick blade in my pocket. Walk around with eyes in the back of your head constantly, never go out at night in over 20 years, no come experience the stress of living where people will kill you for next to nothing!
!LUV
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Do you think that isolation will eventually lead humanity to regress to living in the caves? At least then I would no longer be the only caveman.
We almost there, prisoners in our own homes! Got burglar proofing over every window and door, alarms to alert you or cameras, then you there too.... !LOLZ
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Sadly, I see it only increasing worldwide. This kind of violence has been around here for a good long time but is rapidly increasing in pace.
The age of violent people seems to be decreasing, and the "triggers" that lead to violence seem to be lesser. This is not the way the world should be moving.
Right..it's all in which way the pendulum swings. It is most worrisome to think what kind of world our children and grandchildren will inherit.
I worry more and more about my daughter.
That's a pretty to take as a parent so that her growing up wouldn't be that strange in that aspect of life.
One of the things that people should be able to recognize is, dangerous situations and potentially dangerous people. It takes practice though.
Violence has increased due to the economic negativity that has surrounded the world. For I think that violence thrives wherever people feel under threat - and they feel under threat always whenever their pockets are empty. Sadly, the polarization of the world has only increased in recent years.. with no signs of stopping the malaise.
I agree with the threat and then, there is the increase of what we think is threatening. Call someone the wrong personal pronoun and that is considered a threat and a catalyst for violence these days.
yes, financial stability went down - and with it so did the tolerance of people. sad times.
It has been on the path for while, as people have disconnected from each other, which I think is part of the reason for more financial insecurity too.
I agree...lack of interaction has led to lack of patience and understanding resulting in a destitude of emotional control. The next generation is going to be even more hyper with the advent of ai and robotics completely. May God help us all.
It leads to social division and class systems.
Why are they carrying knives? That is the question that needs to be addressed.
Did they feel unsafe going out? Did they intend to use it as a weapon before this incident? Was this premeditated?
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Violence is a cankerworm that has eaten deep into our system these days. Makes me wonder how it will be in the future if it keeps going on at the rate which it is rising.
It must be a horrible sight ,
I can't even watch violent movies not to talk about stabbing someone.
I just can't imagine the kind of heart some people have that at any misunderstanding, they are ready to kill.
#Reflections
Active choice to avoid as many angry and stupid people as possible. But as a 10-year teaching veteran, the issues with social media in the American classroom is toxic. How to keep cell phones out of the handles of 12yr old when they are forced to sit through a class they don't care about, let alone when they are teenagers. Give them more choices to just go out and do things as young people.
I'll buy a small sample of your confirmation bias crowd and do right for my people. Love starts small and grows so make sure to surround yourself with people to help you keep growing that love.
I don't think it is games that does this. Unless you count the game of social media and consumable content that people spend their lives eating.