I almost teared up reading this. Your sister actually reminds me of someone in my own family that we've had to distance ourselves from a little because of a similar change. Thankfully not as drastic as your sister's, but I know she'd also do what she could to avoid helping the family if she could. She wouldn't be quite as nasty about it, though. Perhaps because she knows subconsciously that we decided long ago that we weren't going to try and go back to that bond were used to have with her.
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It is a very hard situation, it hurts too much. They are not bad people, but they are very selfish.
Yes, this is very true. It is hard not to miss that relationship we used to have with them.