I've been trying to practice a kind of forgiveness. I've been harbouring resentment for all the zillions of people on the beaches near me this summer. Grrr. But I have to flip it and tell myself they have a right to enjoy the beach too, and isn't it LOVELY they get to enjoy it, and before lomg the stress I've been GIVING MYSELF disappears. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we bring about our own anxiety and illness and stress - we have the power to see things differently. Often it's not about us at all.
I always find it remarkable that people can forgive those who have caused them untold harm, like drunk drivers killing their kids, you know? It takes some compassion to do that, and to realize that holding onto anger, resentment, grief, whatever - can cause ultimately more harm than the act itself, in many cases.
We do, for sure, but it's not an easy thing to recognise or fix. Often our instincts can completely turn against us in this regard.
Yes, for a long time I couldn't understand people forgiving others for things like that. You can't change what's happened, though, so at some point you have to make a choice between allowing it to destroy you or healing from it. Ultimately it's not even about them and they will probably never know whether you forgive them or not.