Hello, minismallholding. Is been a while, and I am glad to be here once again.
Forgiveness is an interesting topic. Sometimes, even when people who hurt us die, we forget to bring down the walls we constructed to keep them away. It seems to be the case that, keeping walls up is a habit, far older that we can imagine.
For very long years I kept my walls up. And I dont even remember the reason. But the feeling stuck with me. Anxiety, in short. And Social Anxiety, in long. I dont remember anyone doing anything to me, so I feel the need to watch my every move and other peoples moves. Still, this I feel to be true: Someone I was, felt forced to practice fear has a strategy to survive. As I forgot, I kept doing it by habit, and my brain became very good at it. Turns out, creepling anxiety is not useful to survive when you leave home. But some habits are deeply engrained.
Forgiveness is then, a habit. And so is hate. These days is easier to hate, lust and fear, because its everywhere we look. Every movie, series, social media, and our brains noticed that. Is almost like struggling is necesary to socialize, because everyone is in pain. So our brains are getting very good at it.
I'm always here a little each day, but mostly in the background. 😉
Yes, you would think the death of those who hurt us might be a release, but that can't happen if we haven't resolved things within ourselves in the first place. Walls are a good description, because they aren't easy to pull down.