Honestly? You are hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes in life. At what point is forgiveness allowed?
Of course, not knowing your personal life, I can only say that while you cannot make up for the wrongs, nobody can take the rights from you.
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I've always been rather hard on myself I guess; keeps me sharp. I've forgiven myself at times too, maybe others will also.
I like your last; so true. I've done a lot, most of which I'll not mention here, good I mean. I'd say more than bad for sure. Most of the recipients know, some do not. I know though.
That is all that is important. I don't care if I do something and it is not known, it is usually a need and not a do-gooder thing. A baby without formula, a mother without diapers... no need to go in and lay claim when all I really want to do is fill a need.
If they know, fine. But, if they don't, fine too.
Giving without the expectation of receiving is the way to go. (I've never given diapers though. ☺️)