Hey Denise, thanks for taking a read and your nice comments.
I've done things really badly in life, made many mistakes and paid heftily for them, taken when I should not have and have been the worst version of myself. But there's some good in me and I like to show it as often as possible. my giving moments don't negate the rest as above, but it makes me feel good.
Honestly? You are hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes in life. At what point is forgiveness allowed?
Of course, not knowing your personal life, I can only say that while you cannot make up for the wrongs, nobody can take the rights from you.
I've always been rather hard on myself I guess; keeps me sharp. I've forgiven myself at times too, maybe others will also.
I like your last; so true. I've done a lot, most of which I'll not mention here, good I mean. I'd say more than bad for sure. Most of the recipients know, some do not. I know though.
That is all that is important. I don't care if I do something and it is not known, it is usually a need and not a do-gooder thing. A baby without formula, a mother without diapers... no need to go in and lay claim when all I really want to do is fill a need.
If they know, fine. But, if they don't, fine too.
Giving without the expectation of receiving is the way to go. (I've never given diapers though. ☺️)