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RE: Her Presence…

in HiveGarden10 months ago

Heart-wrenching words --- very well written. You got me caught up in that young girl's mind hoping that she finds some peace. That last line is the only one that seemed a bit off the cadence, like the flourish of a magician. Maybe that was the intent, to get us to change tempo. What do you think of the last line being just something simpler like "I looked around seeing things anew, and I knew it was going to be alright" (pardon me, my fiction writing is poor) or something lowkey like that?
Loved the overall story. Good going.

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Hi @brijwhiz

"I looked around seeing things anew, and I knew it was going to be alright"

Next time I will add this to my story okay?😃😃

Thanks for loving my story dearest friend as it means a lot to me🥰