True friends are very rare and acquaintances are the ones you sort out whether they become friends or not. I know a family member who was very well connected and had parties at his house for all his so called friends regularly. He had hundreds and one day realized he actually only had one friend out the entire bunch. I have old school friends and ex sporting team mates plus one or two army buddies who I can trust ,but no one has been added to the list in over 15 years.
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My list is a short one and I wouldn't say that I have added any names to the list of people I definitely trust, no questions asked, that I have met in Vietnam. I have a total of one person that is on that list that I met after 15 years of living in Thailand. There are half a dozen in the States I met when I was in college and high school. I think that list needs to be short.
In reference to your friend who has the parties: I was at a Christmas party just a few days ago and found myself not having fun but then I took a look around at the people there and realized that I don't really get on with 80% of the people that were there and when I do speak to them I am merely pretending to enjoy their company. Sometimes I think the problem is me but other times, I don't think I am the problem.
The problem is not you or we are the problem because I am exactly the same. If I had a special party tomorrow it would literally have less than 10 friends attending and some would have to fly in.
and perhaps that is a better way to be. The party that your influential friend had sounds like a bunch of hanger-ons being there rather than people he has a genuine connection with.