Yesterday was Father's Day. I came across a post by one of Nigeria's most influential female actress,Tonto Dikeh.
No matter what your baby father has done to you,it doesn't erase the fact that he is still the father of that child. You can never deny him custody as long as he is 100% okay with no mental issue,fighting history or bad habit. A child who grew up without his father will growup some day and ask questions about his dad and people will tell him what he needs to know. There are so many people who have sworn that their child will never see their dad, a man hasn't come for his child because he has issues and he is waiting for the right time. Most times a man let's a woman feel herself and when she feels like she's won over the child he comes knocking asking for custody of that child.
All the man needs is to be clean,no criminal records,no physical evidence of domestic violence,no drinking habit,no mental issues..if the man is free of these then he has custody.
The court doesn't hesitate in giving custody to a man once he is clean. When a man wants custody of his child there is no stopping him. You will be advised by the court to file for settlement and damages. That is the only way you can punish him,you could say that you've spent 40million on childcare,the court will do some calculations and demand the man pays before having custody. The only way a man can never see his child is if he has a child abuse case or record,child rape or any other child related crime and domestic violence. That's the only way a woman can get full custody,sometimes the court even allows the father to see his child once a month or thrice a year. Make peace with the fact that someday he will come for his child,like it or not. Even if he's the one that bailed ,they always come back.
You cant compare a child rightfully raised by a father to a child rightly raised by a mother. Fathers raise with substance and mothers raise with resources.