Are you doing only what you can do and what you’re good at or are you allowing yourself to do what you most want to do?
If you’re supremely capable, or amazingly clever, or naturally gifted at a range of things then it can be easy to think that doing what you can do and you’re good at is a ‘good’ thing. But doing this might cause you to fall into a trap you never meant to make.
If you’ve mostly built your life around doing things you can do and that you’re good at and you now realise that you’re just not as happy or fulfilled as you could be, then please understand you’re not alone. This is a trap I’ve also found myself in at different times in my life and I want you to know that this is something you can change.
We are taught specific ideas about what it means to be successful and it has far more to do with external metrics and creating or collecting things that other people can applaud us for. At this point in our human evolution, particularly in western societies, we don’t collectively see a successful life as one that is full of joy and purpose, satisfaction and vitality.
And yet, what the heck kind of life do we have if we don’t experience those things??
We only have to look at some of the most powerful politicians, the most well-known celebrities and the most wealthy of business leaders to see that having a lot of power, fame and money don’t necessarily give you the kind of life that you and I want.
But let’s be clear here: power is not the problem, fame is not the problem and financial wealth is not the problem, per se. I’m sure between the two of us, you and I could find politicians who still have joyful and nurturing relationships (hello, Barack Obama), well-known celebrities who have positively, purposeful lives (hello, Alanis Morissette) and wealthy business leaders who are vitally healthy (hello, Arianna Huffington).
The problem is if you build your life around only the things you’re good at and ignore the things that you truly want to do then you end up with a life that makes you feel trapped.
Of course, if do you feel somewhat trapped in your life and you don’t feel as joyful, satisfied, purposeful and vitally alive as you’d like, then the solution is simple:
Identify what you would truly love to do and just start doing it.
Simple, yes. Easy? Maybe not.
Once upon a time, you were a toddler, and if your home was anything like mine (and most people’s on the planet) you probably heard the word “no” when you asked for what you wanted more times than your tiny brain could then count.
But every “no” was heard by you. Every “no” was felt by you. Every “no” registered in your brain and your body and — unless you’ve moved or cleared these out of your body — those imprints are still living in there.
So if you struggle to know what you want, if you struggle to ask for what you want or struggle to pursue what you truly want to do in your life there is a very good reason.
Your body still believes that someone is going to say “no” to you and it’s therefore not safe to ask for or do that thing you want to do.
Awareness is the first key. If you didn’t realise it before you read this article, now you can see it and now you know. From here you can use the tools you have (meditation, journalling, mindfulness, EFT tapping or any other effective transformational tool) to change the beliefs and behaviours that are keeping you stuck in a life that maybe isn’t all you hoped for.
Before we wrap this up, let me share what inspired me to write this article in the first place.
A few days I realised I really don’t want to have business Facebook Pages anymore. I went back and forth with my thinking; “But I should…” and “I know how…” and “it’s not that hard…” and “what if people want me on there?”, etc, etc. My clever, busy mind was full of all the beliefs and the “can’s” and the “should’s” of people who have come before me.
But the truth of what I want is to be sharing my writing and teaching and resources on platforms that I love being on (like Instagram for my short-form content) and am* enjoying* exploring (like YouTube for the stuff I want to physically speak out loud) and find intuitive and easy (like Medium for my long-form content). And of course, I want to be on the ever-evolving and continuously-challenging, decentralised hub that is the Hive blockchain 😄
So I’m ditching Facebook for my business stuff. I don’t enjoy it. It feels like a drag. And I’m allowed to leave any space that doesn’t feel good to me.
And so are you.
It's awesome that you are now pursuing the things that you want to do. I can agree too, I have also fallen into this trap of practicality over everything, this has led me to a course I never wanted to pursue, and now I don't have much motivation or drive to finish my degree. But now, I can still go after my dreams of becoming a writer here on Hive.
I'm definitely sure you will grow and become a better writer and perhaps your passion for writing will be your means of income in the future.
What degree did you take? All my advice is just make sure its what you really wanted. Studied Civil Engineering 6 years, work as an engineer 3 years, ditched it to become a freelancer. So yeah, I have regrets in between but I didn't knew any better before then because of the social programming and because of our culture. I think you know what I mean. But nonetheless, it was a journey I need to take.
So as what @consciouscat said...Do what you WANT to do. 😉
Yes, I'm currently studying Civil Engineering because my parents told me so 😭. And yes, I am slowly but surely trying to do what I've always wanted to become, a writer. Thank you so much for your kind words!
Interesting. Can you describe the process where you went from Engineering to freelance work? What a change that must have been.
Oh hello @scholaris.pob! I got fed up with the politics from the multinational company I used to work for. Just decided to quit it for good this march 2021 for peace of mind. A met a close friend from Hive 2 weeks later and I got back to writing again in the blockchain. so here I am.
I will pursue other freelance work. nothing beats freedom of time!
That's certainly the truth. Congratulations on your success.
Yes! There are always opportunities to pursue what we really want if we keep our eyes open :) Glad you're on Hive and writing!
Thank you so much!
I !LUV this. Yes! We are all allowed to leave any space that doesn't feel good to us. Being on Hive, writing regularly is where I am at and what I am enjoying. I'm not a full-time author ...yet. Realistically, I have a family and bills to pay ... and any switch from one career to another, when you have responsibilities, does not happen overnight. So my day job is something I must do for now, but at least where my lines with work were once drawn in the sand, they are now engraved in concrete! I do not compromise my personal time for an employer anymore. I have my family to enjoy and my passion to pursue. I currently fit my writing around my day job, but I am working towards turning my goals into reality, as we all should be doing. I do look forward to the day that I can wake up and know that my day is simply filled with joy and passion. A lovely inspirational piece @consciouscat🙏 I am sure that the decision you have taken will be the right one for you and wish you all the very best as you negotiate your way to a more fulfilling life (although having seen your articles, it looks pretty wonderful to me already)😍 Have you thought of joining Ladies of Hive, Wednesday Walk and posting more in Proof of brain? I think a lot of your posts would fit in very nicely in these communities and would perhaps open up a wider audience for increased rewards on a regular basis :-) and also allow you to curate some wonderful publications. You write really well and I think you would do well in contests like LOH weekly contest, Proof of Brain Word of the Week run by @scholaris, and Wednesday Walk run by @tattoodjay. Just some thoughts that came to me as I looked over the content of what you write about ;-)
Oh My Gosh, Sam! Here you are again, loving on me and supporting me. You are so good at this woman! Seriously. I'm glad you're finding your way on Hive as a supporter of others - I can see that this will be a key part of your strategy to grow your influence, impact & income on Hive... and let you leave that day job sooner.
Right! Communities. I shall join. Thanks for the invites and suggestions 🧡 I shall attempt to do as many of your fabulous suggestions as possible, and, like you, Hive is a secondary thing. Unless or maybe UNTIL I can integrate it well into my business, it will always be something I do after all my other "important" things are done: serving and teaching clients/students/followers.
For now, let me join these spaces and see where we go from there. Thank you again love!
You are very welcome. I hope you get some joy out of them 🙏If I think of anything else, I'll let you know, otherwise feel free to tag me if you have any more questions or just drop a comment on one of my posts and I'll find you 😊
And thanks for the reblog Sam! I'm thinking I'm not going to sustainably be able to keep up with the number of people reblogging my work (a wonderful "problem" to have) but for now I'm publicly grateful (as opposed to privately grateful, which I will always be when people reblog my stuff!)
Well, you're clearly doing something right 💗
This is the second blog I've read about deleting/ditching Facebook. The first one was here: https://peakd.com/hive-150329/@creativemary/the-day-i-deleted-facebook
And damn, I feel like the universe is speaking to me right now. There was a time I totally deleted Facebook for a year and it was the most liberating thing I've experienced. Right now, I have a new FB account just to connect with my family, relatives and a few close friends but that's it. But after reading the one I mentioned above, I deleted the "app" from my phone. And after reading this, I just might delete the profile and leave my messenger on.
But you are damn right about "doing what you can is a trap" and a lot can relate to this too.. I can say I've made a milestone in my life by quitting my corporate job and pursuing freelancing and freediving and dancing. 😁 My life is more peaceful and joyful.
This was such a great read @consciouscat!
Thanks Clara 💙❤️ Yeah, it's funny. I watch my behaviour of automatically hitting the Facebook App on my phone when I'm bored and there's just less and less on there that's actually getting my interest. I'm curiously following where my intuition and desire keep pulling me. Here's to less noise and more dancing 😀
Can't agree more!
Great move :) If Facebook geels wrong, there's probably a good reason for that. I can even think of a few 😂
!PIZZA !ALIVE
Thanks for kind words and tokens!! 😁
It was my pleasure ❤️
Thanks for sharing! it's easy to be dragged along with the pace of daily life and forget our values at times. I try to do some reflection at the end of a day or on weekends, it helps me to stay on top of things. 😀
I like that idea of regular reflection @sunnyvo. I do it somewhat haphazardly and spontaneously as I think of it, or as I realise I'm tripping up on something. But reflection however we do it is so important!! 😄
@pfshorts, thank you for the reblog!
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