Haha, you know I was going to mention the mozzies (mosquitos) in my comment. Hmm, mozzie burgers sound interesting.
I'll give you points for your alcohol levels things out comment although it always seemed to make flat ground wobbly for me. 😁
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The problem with flat ground when drinking (too much or enough) isn't how much you drink, it's the flat ground itself! The flat ground just doesn't know how to be. It should be a steep hill or in this case a high pile of gravel so that it's easy to walk on it when under the influence of alcohol. Same thing when being drunk in a big ocean vessel that rocks on waves. There the flat floor knows how to behave. Swinging floor is easier than a floor that stays still when drunk.
So...Being drunk and unable to walk properly is flat ground's fault. This makes perfect sense and I'm surprised I've missed this very obvious scientific phenomenon in the past. I know now though, and will blame the ground every time from here on out. Lol.
No other option there. :D
Edit...
Oh, I have one!
"The ground met me too eagerly."
And a second one:
"The ground wasn't there where my left foot wanted to land."