I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you. Watching someone you love go through dementia and taking care of them is incredibly painful. On top of that, having to deal with someone who made your life harder, yet still being there for them, must have been overwhelming. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I can't understand how family members can be violent, especially with children, whether alcohol is involved or not. Depression is a nightmare; it's in your head, and you can't escape it. Did you ever take medication for it? I know how those pills can affect you, making it hard to get out of bed, taking away your will to live, and leaving you tired all the time. I get it. Are you feeling better now? Writing helped me a lot, and funny enough, talking to strangers who understood me, even if they didn't know me, helped too. Sometimes it's hard to talk about these things with the people you love. I truly believe everyone can overcome this, we just can't give up. A few months ago, two of my friends committed suicide. I still don't understand how we missed the signs that they were struggling. I'll never understand, and it's hard to think we could have helped if only they had said something. That's why I always say we need to talk or seek professional help. You are really amazing, and thank you so much for your kind words. Oh, you can see I write a lot, so can you imagine how much I talk? ;) maybe sometimes too much :))
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It was a difficult process, many things happened with both my mother and my father. They were different cases. I remember, for example, on one occasion that I had to take my father to the bank to collect his pension, he was in a nursing home and could not move alone (orders from the prosecutor in charge of the case, because there was even a judicial process with him (that is another long story) and I had to pay for a taxi (at that time I was unemployed, I had no income to even buy food for myself) and it cost a lot of money because the nursing home was 2 hours from where I live, I had to pay a taxi that agreed to take an older man with a cane. Then in the bank my father could hardly walk, he lost his balance, he would fall to the ground if he was sitting. And in the bank even though I warned them of his condition, of. They had to attend to him quickly, they didn't...they made me wait, and Dad would fall to the floor, and all the commotion in the bank would start. They would start asking questions, and I would waste a lot more time. I just wanted him to collect his money. pension and return him to the nursing home... That created a trauma for me (in addition to other things).
Writing helps me, but in reality I have many shortcomings in my home, repairs to basic services that I do not have, such as a washing machine, the sink, toilet and shower are clogged, my mattress is no longer useful and I have no way to buy another one, I have All my teeth are damaged and another tooth is about to fall out, I have a chronic ulcer on my leg for 8 weeks that has not closed (I am diabetic and the matter is worse), and my finances are not good at all. There are hundreds of things.
In reality I don't feel better, but I am very strong mentally, I have gone through many things and processes, even the keys to my home have been stolen and I have had to sleep on the street like a beggar for not having the keys... etc.
I'm sorry about your friends. Maybe they didn't want to tell their things, often there are many things that overwhelm us. It happens that sometimes we don't want to tell things because they are very difficult, and the solution in many cases is filthy money (to repair the toilet, to buy a new mattress, to unclog the pipes, to repair your teeth, to have a good quality of life, which with only $70 of income per month I cannot obtain, and the rewards I get in hive are not enough to cover everything, I only receive about $40 per month per hive of those $70 per month (the other 30 are a product of a property that I have rented).
I've talked to professionals, they've prescribed me drugs, but I don't like lying in a sick bed, I'm not one of those. And currently I can't afford a professional either ($50 a consultation, too expensive), and going to public health in this country is not an option for me, because it's terrifying, it's terrible, you end up dying (long waiting times to be treated between 14 to 18 hours in the hospital, negligence, bad treatment, etc.), so I prefer to go to a private doctor, but with such expensive consultations it is not possible. And I don't have anyone in this life, it's just me. My family pushed me aside, my parents died and my aunts are almost dying (80 or 90 years old) and my cousins who are already adults, I don't think they even know that I exist. On repeated occasions I have written to them on Instagram and social networks and they do not respond to me, but they continue to publish photos of their meetings, celebrations, successes, etc. But they don't answer me, and they know it's me. I have written to them privately and publicly. So I no longer take them into account, it doesn't make sense.
Thank you for your empathy, it is a delight to talk to you, and if you think you write a lot, imagine what you will say about me, hahahaha. I also talk a lot in person, I'm very talkative, but it's difficult to find someone to have a good chat with these days, at least for me.
Thank you for sharing your story. I can see you've been through a lot, and it's clear you're a strong person to have faced so many challenges. It must have been really tough dealing with so many issues at home. I can imagine how stressful that trip to the bank must have been, and it’s so unfair that you didn’t get the help you needed. It's also really hard to deal with financial problems, especially when there are so many things that need fixing. Not having basic things can make life so much harder. And having health issues on top of everything else is just too much. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry to hear about your family situation too. It must hurt to feel ignored by people who should care about you. ;/
But, sometimes just getting things out can make a big difference. It’s important to remember that you’re doing your best, even when it feels like everything is against you. You’ve survived so much, and that shows how strong you are. Thank you for talking to me and trusting me with your story. I hope things start to get better for you soon. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
I have felt comfortable talking to you, I really believe that you are someone with whom you can interact and discuss anything. Yes, I don't always like to talk about my life because I try as much as possible to keep it separate from hive, since here in hive I focus on making art content (my pixel art and nfts drawings), my videos about stories, and also my fiction and horror stories, which is what I like to do. I generally talk about these topics with the people I interact with, and sometimes, on very special occasions, I talk about my life, when I bump into unicorns like you =).
I always do my best, but I feel tired and exhausted, it is one fight after another, without respite, and I am alone for everything (without support from anyone. It would be very different if I had an ally, here in my house (not It necessarily has to be a couple, sex doesn't interest me, I passed that stage a long time ago) to help me with simple tasks like cleaning the house or going out to do some tasks like buying food, etc.), and that makes it more difficult .
There is nothing you need to thank me for, I know you are someone I can trust, you generate trust (I guess you must be used to that, a lot of people must tell you that haha).
I hope things improve soon, I'm almost reaching my limit of what is "humanly bearable" =)
And sure, when I want to talk about anything, I leave you a message in any post, you can also do the same.
Ah, I take advantage of leaving you my NFT collection, in case you want to support me by acquiring one, maybe there may be one that you like (publicity moment hahaha)
https://nftshowroom.com/manclar/gallery
I'm really glad you feel comfortable talking to me. I totally get wanting to keep your personal life separate from Hive and focusing on your art and stories. It sounds like you have a lot of creative projects going on, which is amazing! I'm sorry to hear you're feeling tired and exhausted. It must be tough to handle everything on your own without support. Having someone to help with simple tasks would definitely make things easier. I appreciate your trust and kind words. I hope things get better for you soon and that you find some relief. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to leave me a message anytime. And thanks for sharing your NFT collection! I'll definitely check it out and see if there's something I like! marketing is everything! ;)
Take care!