Ah, South Africa! It makes sense how you'd feel the chill then. I think children, well, they don't pay as much attention to those things like adults do. I know I didn't, but now I do. LOL.
So you've had the lovely experience of these groups too. Good on you for standing your ground. It's exactly how you've described. I don't do boot licking either, that's just devaluing oneself to serve other purposes. Not a healthy way to be in my mind.
I've also encountered the "not well liked" experience many times, but I don't care. I have to be true to myself or I can't sleep at night. Also not part of these groups now for several years. I'm done with all that. Best I be different as I walk about the world, no group needed to make a difference by doing it that way.
Loved your rambles and thoughts. I relate. Thank you for sharing.
Cheers!