I had a really bad feeling of danger when she entered the room and as soon as she stepped in, I waked up instantly.
Yes, you sense it, even in your sleep. There’s a change in the energy is how I describe it.
Wow, that’s quite a story of survival. I’m so glad you shared it. You’ve overcome a lot. It makes you stronger though. Someone who was very helpful to me once said, “human relationships are complicated”. It’s a simple statement but spoke volumes to me at a time I needed to hear it.
Day by day and build it as you go.
Surviving is the first step
True. Surviving is the first step.
the maniac spends too much time making you ready to stab him in self-defense, he almost manages to make you a maniac as well.
Wise words, you have seen plenty in order to know this.
Thank you @jesustiano, so glad to hear your story.
To her i was a monster, to me she was a monster, we both were, that relationship should had ended the firts time she "fell inlove" with someone else. Glad that i shared it, i have actually never speak about it on hive or any social media... Feels better to air it out.
I'm so glad you did speak about it. It is absolutely necessary to air these things out in a way that is helpful to oneself. Holding anything is never a healthy choice, from my experience.
What you've shared has given me a much rounded picture of you and increased my respect for you. We all have a monster inside ourselves. Some are not aware of it. Some ignore it. Some feed it until it devours them.
I've chosen to starve my monster for many years now. It's shrank and it no longer has control over me. If a situation arises where it pops up, well there are consequences I impose on myself, should it not adhere to the rules I've set for it long ago.
Quite a while ago, someone shared this story with me. It resonated deeply. I think you might also enjoy it. Two Wolves
Thank you, took me two days to properly read it, but thank you :) Not because is long, is not, is because i was makign a post about those days, about the depression that came after, the severe dissapointment on myself i had, and how it drove me close to suicide. I never picture my self slapping a lover, or screaming at her, neither expected having nightmares of me killing her, and smiling while doing so in my dreams, it still give me the creeps until this very day, now on a healthy relation ship, and expecting a child, i see that i am feeding the right wolf now, and it sure helps to starve that beast into oblivion, is a choise to be made when you become a parent.
Each of us has a dark side and in order to not have it consume us, it must be looked at and yes, starved. There is no way that I've ever found to eliminate it. Perhaps that may differ for others, or perhaps I haven't grown enough. I have found that starving it does cause it to shrink, the more starved, the longer, the more it loses power over one.
You're welcome. I never mind how long anyone takes. You've grown quite a bit. I hope you see that.
I do, thank you for this opportunity to talk about it :)
You're welcome, I'm glad you were able to talk about it. It helps release it.
Im gonna post something about it soon, but not the whole toxic fights and hate, oh no, the time that came after, the therapy, the solitude, the lonelyness :)
That vibe, that energy, that some one is out ot hurt you, is something once you experience it, you never forget it.
That's so true. It's a lesson I learned very young and I will never forget it.