No. 1 - WHAT HAPPENS WHEN .........?
Have you ever had a good experience happen to you when you were very young? Then immediately after a very bad experience directly related to it, that altered that good experience? Add to that many repeats of the same thing for several years, so that it permanently alters that good experience in a way that brings it directly to being a bad experience. Then what?
As an adult, you have this “good experience” again and again. It’s the kind of experience that naturally occurs to everyone at many points in their life, small events, large events, and everything in between. It’s a common experience that people have.
What happens to that good experience for an adult under such circumstances? It takes you to this place of re-living the bad experience immediately, every single time, without fail. Then what?
What does someone do with an experience that naturally occurs in life, one that is supposed to bring feelings of fulfillment, of acknowledgement, of being cared for? Instead it takes you back to place of pain, old pain, and the complete opposite of what the experience ought to be. It’s like having everything reversed, turned upside down, and inside out.
An example of this, not applicable to my own life, but one that has been for many I’ve known, is the inability to play the way a child does, such as something as simple as doing crafts. I’ve known several people in my life who are unable to do this, precisely for the reason of having a good experience immutably blended with a very bad experience repeatedly. The person has become “conditioned” to associate a good experience as being a bad, painful, damaging experience, or whatever words you would like to insert here.
QUESTIONING HAND
How does one change this? Is that even possible, and to what extent? If it is, what is the path to changing this? These are questions that have arisen again for me in the last several months, since I’ve been confronted head first with such an experience. It has brought me to a place of having to look directly in the mirror at myself to see what’s really going on within me. I’ve been caught off guard, since I haven’t had to look at this particular thing for a long time and it didn’t occur to me that it would arise in the context that it did.
There are no magic answers, or solutions. It is absolutely necessary to develop self-knowledge and self-awareness. Without those, there is no way to know what is going on within oneself, and no way to see in the moment what is occurring. Seeing is the first step. Once one becomes aware/sees, then it is a matter of pausing, and choosing another approach, instead of being held captive to a repetitive, knee jerk, reaction response.
Maybe that new approach isn’t the one that works. If that’s the case, you pick another, and keep trying until the puzzle piece fits without either ramming it into place, or going on auto pilot repeat pattern because it’s easier and familiar. It’s difficult to step outside one’s comfort zone. In fact, it can be, depending on the person and/or situation, excruciatingly painful to say the least.
THE DROPLET
It’s about NEVER GIVING UP. It’s about confronting one’s personal barriers. It’s about pushing beyond one’s self-imposed limits. It’s about breaking down one’s programming. It’s about FACING DOWN FEAR.
So, what have I chosen to do? I’ve been doing what I describe as “desensitizing” myself. I do that by repeatedly exposing myself to that particular experience, in a limited and balanced manner. Each time I do so, I push myself a little bit further past my established comfort zone. I’ve been doing this for several months now.
Has there been a noticeable improvement and change for me? YES, absolutely YES. I know this for certain because I crashed headlong into this experience, AGAIN, within the past week. This time, it was so intense. I had pushed past my limits more again and then added a little extra to see if I could go beyond that even.
Well, I did do that and then crashed immediately afterwards. All that means though is that I need a bit of time to rest and recover. I’ve been down this road many times and I’ve permanently broken enough of my programming this way. Never giving up is key. I’ve already changed my whole life because of “never giving up”. This one particular experience will be no different.
All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron Macro lens.
Play is something that has gotten a bad rap in society. People look at it as messing around and nonproductive. Speaking for myself I have produced some of my best work through play snd have had some of my best/ worst experiences going through it. With every failure there is learning but the real challenge is to focus on that and not the negative sides. It only has to be one tiny aspect of the whole that was a success that when added to your arsenal of experience, becoming part of your muscle memory, that it can make your next attempt at climbing the summit just that little bit easier.
If you don't enter into the challenges you face with a playful attitude then it will all seem like hard work. Better to start with this playful attitude and see how far it will get you up the path. You might be surprised by yourself.
You've made some very good points with your comment. Play has definitely been given a bad rap label by society. I agree with what you've said. I think of mistakes as crucial to learning. I would have stagnated in life without mistakes to spur me on to grow beyond my limits.
Love what you've said with this, beautifully expressed:
Thank you for checking out my post and leaving such an insightful comment!
Really interesting read, thanks so much for sharing and being so open!
Thank you! It's a step in a bit a different direction.
Extremely poignant and relevant article to a vast majority of people @nineclaws!
Thank you @jamerussell. If you mean the photo called, "The Droplet", yes, that is one of my works. It's an amber teardrop that I carved. The photo is a shadow of my hand holding it, with the sunlight going through the amber teardrop, which is why it's that yellow colour.
It makes a beautiful image @nineclaws!
Thank you so much!
Great post. The best thing you can do with past fears and trauma is confront them and alleviate them. Past trauma is bad enough, but having it hovering over you your entire life is a double dose of trauma. If life is suffering the best thing we can do is trying to figure out ways to reduce it.
Maybe some !LUV or some !BEER would help. Maybe even a !PIZZA
Thank you! I agree that fears and past trauma need to be faced and healed, otherwise they wait in the shadows and never leave. It is a process though and takes whatever time it takes.
Suffering is part of life but not all of it. How much one suffers, imo, is how much one decided to make oneself suffer.
Thank you for the luv, beer & pizza, lovely of you!
@nineclaws! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @amphlux.
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And here I thought I was going to find sculptures, instead I find philosophy, and good ones expressed I might add.
I've had many such experiences in my life beginning in childhood all the way through adulthood, so much so that now I am a very fractured person, very much a
"knee jerkkinda guy.After many years of counseling, which did little, I won my case for compensation for PTSD, which then caused the VA to regard my MH therapy more seriously, and now I actually have a "Clinical Psychologist" working with me.
Not often enough, but it is helping.
What has helped more is to not be faced with dealing with landlords and bullies, I have my own home finally.
And, I AM GETTING BETTER. @nineclaws , I've followed you. We'll be seeing each other more often now.
↑Upvoted↑ and ←Reblogged→
Hahaha! Well, there is one sculpture in this, "The Droplet", that's a shadow of an amber tear drop I carved that I'm holding in the photo.
Wow, I'm really touched by what you've shared. Glad to hear you're being taken seriously, getting counseling and have a home you can feel safe in. I hope you have some additional support in friends as well. Good on you that you are seeing improvement!
I'm so glad you found my post to be of meaning. I wrote it with the intent of reaching out to others and that perhaps it would resonate and add a droplet of light in the dark. Thank you for following me.
I saw, and commented on the Amber sculpture, I was absolutely amazed that something so tiny could be carved that way.
It's one thing to whittle a piece of wood, but a precious stone is a different matter.
Thanks @nineclaws
I saw that you did, thanks!
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune
😌
Your quote is right on point! Thank you for leaving that comment and checking out my post! 😃
Hehehe, thanks. It was quite funny, but reading that book i learned a lot about my own fears...
It's an excellent book and as you've said, a good learning opportunity! 😃😃😃
yep, one of these books...
HAHAHA, I forgot, they are a series. Did you read them all?
i read two...Dune Messiah & Children of Dune for now. actually waiting on the new movie adaptation coming this year.
I love this Nine!!!
Reflecting on life's issues with the addition of some good photographs to enter into the topic. And I love the way you conclude it with a wonderful motivational speech.
Love it love it love it.
#NEVERGIVEUP
Awwww, thank you @tripode! I'm thinking about what else I can contribute in this direction, along with photos 😉
❤️❤️❤️ LUV YOU!!!!
That's it. NEVER GIVE UP!
NO MATTER IF WE DIE IN THE PROCESS! BETTER TO BURN OUT THAN TO FADE AWAY!
As we already know, the trick is to keep breathing.
Awesome post and awesome shots :)
🍻 💙
Thank you! Never giving up! Carpe diem! 🍻💙
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Hi There @flaxz.alive, I apologize for incorrectly using the #alive tag. I was trying to decide what tags to use for this post and this one was suggested to me. I did not check the community guidelines when I should have done so. Thank you for including the link and also for letting me know. I appreciate this.
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Thank you!
Hi @nineclaws , I'm not looking to solicit votes or anything, just wondering if you saw my posts from the last 24 of hours?
I think you'd be pleased
I did, I actually read it a few hours after you put it up. I was taking some time to think about what you've said before responding. I'll leave you a comment soon. I've had to attend to real life recently 😉
Here a little gift... that's Antares, the heart of Scorpio! 😉
🤩 the heart is the best part 😉